Tried Rewiring, going back to abstinence

[Relentless Observer]

This journey has been going on for several years now. Throughout it I have had some progress. After a few years of no P, but intermittent MO I had a girlfriend for about 2.5 years and was able to have sex with her a few times a week. However, much of that time the erections were forced and I never had a full erection.

I think that rewiring can be nice, but the desire to show love and affection physically with a partner is strong and so in many times I forced erections and I think that harmed my healing. My most consistent periods of morning wood and sexual response came from longer periods of abstinence from any MO, so I want to try this more again.

As a newly single man I am committing now to an indefinite period of abstinence from any MO in addition to abstinence from P.
It has been about 5 weeks now and I am hopeful every few months I can have some worthwhile positive changes to share.

 

[GBS]

Hi @Relentless Observer - five weeks of total abstinence is impressive. Do you feel changes? Have you ever done this length of time with no MO before?

The brain is a mean old fucker, I warn you. It will fight back hard. It wants you to return to porn. You appear to be a man of substance. Keep going. Don’t give in (please).

 

[Relentless Observer]

Longest I went without MO before was about 90 days right at the beginning of my journey. Although I was able to have "successful" sex several times over the past few years with my girlfriend I always felt drained after. Hopefully a prolonged period of abstinence is what will help me really recover.
So far I have started having some more frequent penile swelling in the morning again which gives me the sense I am moving in the right direction. Too long since I have had regular morningwood.

 

[Relentless Observer]

About 8 weeks of no MO now. I tend to have more frequent weak morningwood now.

 

[FrankWhite12]

This journey has been going on for several years now. Throughout it I have had some progress. After a few years of no P, but intermittent MO I had a girlfriend for about 2.5 years and was able to have sex with her a few times a week. However, much of that time the erections were forced and I never had a full erection.

I think that rewiring can be nice, but the desire to show love and affection physically with a partner is strong and so in many times I forced erections and I think that harmed my healing. My most consistent periods of morning wood and sexual response came from longer periods of abstinence from any MO, so I want to try this more again.

As a newly single man I am committing now to an indefinite period of abstinence from any MO in addition to abstinence from P.
It has been about 5 weeks now and I am hopeful every few months I can have some worthwhile positive changes to share.

ey man. 5 weeks in sounded amazing, how's the status now?
Btw. one question - why no rewiring with real ppl? Can be quite the experience I think!

 

[Relentless Observer]

ey man. 5 weeks in sounded amazing, how's the status now?
Btw. one question - why no rewiring with real ppl? Can be quite the experience I think!

After my first 2 years without P I was able to have sex with my girlfriend. I continued to do so for about two and a half years. Yet, each time I O'd I felt quite rough and in that whole time I never had a strong erection, it almost always felt forced the entire time of every sex session we had. I felt that forcing erections and O'ing with weak erections only hurt me this whole time. So, I broke up with my girlfriend so that I may be entirely no P or M or O until I have strong erections again on a consistent basis (my hope is that by eliminating O with weak erections my body may actually eventually come to a point of having full erections again). This has been a horrendously difficult time for me, but I have committed to healing now and I will not have any distractions and am ridding myself of the temptation of a partner until I have full erections again.

At this point I have started having some weak MW again, but feel as though I am back in a flatline like when I first stopped watching P.

 

[Relentless Observer]

About 12 weeks of no M or O. Having some weak morning woods more regularly than not.
Hoping this new year is the one I finally have strong erections and MW again.

 

[Relentless Observer]

Over 4 months into this now. Not really much change. I may be experiencing stronger urination. I may have slightly more frequent weak MW, but still weak and little response around real women.
I am so ready for this phase of my life to be finished. I want so badly to write a success story on here soon. I am tired of a numb penis that barely responds...

 

[Relentless Observer]

Feeling defeated because last two days it is as though I sunk deeper into a flatline. No MW and just feeling numb and cold and lifeless. I had a blood flow study years ago that was normal and saw several urologists who said "it is in your head." I believe that I can still get better, but it is tough to believe it. I am approaching 30. I have had a dysfunctional penis for essentially all my 20s... when I should have been having the best and healthiest time of my life. It is quite depressing and frustrating.
- I tried "rewiring" with a partner and having sex with her often, but the erections were always quite weak and I was always worried they would fade. I think that only hurt me and trained my brain that those weak, fading erections were enough.
- As tough as it is, as isolating as it is, I think I just need to be alone for now and hope that I start to have strong MW again and eventually reactions to women.