1) Recognize you have the problem. It cannot be fixed if it is not recognized as a problem. "I am addicted to porn." Pretty harsh thought, and arguably not technically correct, but think it. Look yourself in the mirror and say it. Define the problem. Define the solution, which is quitting. Know yourself. People are often surprised when I say understand the problem, studying it, and quitting it, have actually expanded my understanding of my self exponentially. I have a much greater understanding of the innate motivations of the human brain now, on multiple levels, than I did before. Quitting this forced me to, so, embrace that.
2) Study the problem. The problem is actually quite small. Do not let yourself think of the problem as big. Epic problems need epic solutions; small problems require small solutions.
3) Understand YOU are the problem, not porn. You have used porn, over a long time, to condition your brain to give you a dopamine high via experiencing porn. No one has ever been addicted to porn; we are addicted to using porn to achieve that dopamine high. But understand, this was not something done to you, this was something you did to yourself. Did not know that, OK, but you know it now. Own yourself, porn does not own you.
4) Don't just say "I quit", then try that. Everyone fails that way. Make a plan on how you are going to quit using porn. I think a porn blocker is helpful. It will not stop you from getting to porn, however, if it is on your computer, it is a great reminder that you are quitting porn, and that reminder is helpful. When I first quit, and had a blocker, it probably popped up on my screen 20 times a day. Once you have this problem accessing porn is so easy it can be done almost unconsciously in a moment, a micro second. Seeing the porn blocker pop up gave me a few seconds to redirect. I would also plan on other ways of avoiding porn. So, keep your door open. Only access the internet in a public setting. You must plan on getting out and doing something, anything, other than watching porn. Go to the mall, go to the gym, take a trip without your laptop. Plan now on a distraction method, something to do and or think of when porn thoughts creep in, which they inevitably will. Important to understand you are not simply "not watching porn", you are turning down your dopamine high, which yo can get via just thoughts of sex, so it is not just porn you are avoiding, it is thoughts of sex, which will happen without porn. Conceive of your distraction technique now to prevent a one second thought of sex from becoming a dopamine drenched sex fantasy in your head. For me, it was clicking my tongue. Others, snapping their fingers. Others wearing a stretchy bracelet and "snapping" it to break the thought. It does not have to be much. Create yours now.
5) Plan on, expect, and embrace the fact that quitting hurts. You are going to experience withdrawals, which is your neurological system punishing you for not allowing it to have the dopamine high. Do not try to replace the dopamine high, but accept you are giving it up to go back to normal pre-porn levels. Know that eventually the craving and the withdrawals eventually lessen then go away completely.
6) Take it seriously. For the time you are quitting porn, define yourself, in the morning, throughout the day, in the evening, night and going to bed as: A person quitting porn. Quitting porn does not take that long, but during the quitting phase, it cannot be a side gig or a hobby; it must be who you define yourself as. A person quitting porn. Be that for long enough and you will no longer be that, you will simply be quit.
Hope this helps.
Much love.
W.
