10 + years of porn addiction,Recovery from pornography, two years later


I am 25 years old. I am not an American or a European, but I live in an eastern country on the other side of the ocean. In 2007, my family was equipped with a computer early when I was young. I inadvertently found porn sites on the Internet, which was like opening the door to a new world for me, porn videos gave me an unprecedented dopamine shock, but I did not look for porn videos at that time, were downloaded by downloading software one by one to watch, and the frequency of watching was not too high, I felt very cool, nothing in the world is better than this, It's a man's nature and I'm glad I'm a man, back then I only had weekends free to play video games and watch porn, so there was no addiction.
In 2015, during the period from high school to college, when I was about 15.16 years old, I had a lot of spare time, which was spent playing games and watching porn. At that time, porn movies became convenient to watch, and they were all online videos, so I kept watching porn, which led to my addiction, and my brain changed and became only interested in watching porn. My old hobbies have become less interesting, watching porn every day, and shutting myself off in the Internet world has made me disjointed, withdrawn, and not hanging out with my friends as much, so I'm a wooden personality.
When I was 18 years old, I fell in love, the first love gave me a lot of dopamine, at that time with my girlfriend can get an erection, but I still continue to watch porn, after 2-3 years, during which I still watch porn, because I did not know porn is harmful, at this moment porn is corroding my brain, I do not have so much passion with my girlfriend, keep watching high-speed porn to stimulate the brain, After that, my brain began to show physical symptoms, sometimes I would have wild thoughts, fear of getting sexually transmitted diseases, become extremely anxious, and have abnormal emotions. These are all problems in different systems of the brain, which is the beginning of some obsessive-compulsive disorder and hypochondriac disorder. I also got PIED, and then I broke up
In 2019, I went to work, at this time my brain felt uncomfortable symptoms, I felt that I had depression, I was unhappy every day, I felt that life was boring, no passion, dizziness, head pain, spine pain, which is a side effect caused by pornography, depression, because high dose of dopamine intake every day made me feel boring and unable to relax in normal life. I can't go back to the fun I had when I was a child. In addition, impotence caused by pornography makes me scared and scared to death, because I lose the dignity of a man, I don't want to live anymore, I am in a mental state, I want to die every day, I want to sleep, I have no energy to do other things, and I wonder what is wrong with me every day, I have depression, what should I do? My life is dark
Later, I opened the self-rescue, in my own national network to find posts, many of which are about the speech of abstinence, I once snorted at him, I think porn and impotence is not half a cent relationship, because I look at porn can be erectile, these people must be caused by excessive sex, and then I did not expect this to land on my own body, at this moment I suddenly woke up, It's not pornography that's causing all this, is it? I kept searching the Internet and found your porn brain. This article benefited me a lot and let me learn a lot of neurological knowledge. I spent three or four days watching this website day and night, looking at other people's cases, and found that it was very similar to me.
And then I kept looking, and by about 2021, I found NOFAP, an organization like this, and I saw that a lot of people were quitting, so I started quitting in July, and I stopped watching porn, and it was hard at first, because my brain was in addiction withdrawal, and you told me not to watch porn, and it was hard, because 70 percent of what my brain was thinking every day was about porn. At first, I calculated the date every day, looking forward to the day to pass, but I accidentally watched porn, broke the code, and calculated the date again. During this period, I was also suffering from depression, with headaches and paranoia every day, I felt that I was going to die, so I went to take antidepressants, the effect of antidepressants is also very useful, it gradually relieved my head and spine, but you have to remember that this medicine is only an auxiliary tool, it can not help you retract broken PIED. Pied is not a day old. You have to recover on your own,
Then I gave up counting the date, I was depressed and I was dying, I thought I would try not to think about the PIED thing, try to forget about the thing I was rebooting, put my energy and spirit into focusing on my own life, working hard, staying with my family, going into love, going to the gym and other things, and make up for the time I used to watch porn. Then I started to go out, stay with friends every day, go to the mall, make friends, go out on road trips, accompany my parents, do more meaningful things, make my life very full. My mental outlook is also changing, and it's all positive
During this period, my brain also quietly changed, has been changing, this change is not obvious, but you inadvertently noticed, after four or five months, six months, during which I also peeked at porn but very rarely, my morning guard came back, I can also get an erection on my girlfriend, I became more and more happy, and then I stopped taking antidepressants, My brain stopped thinking about porn, and I didn't want to watch it, and I just felt like I wasn't in the mood to watch it, and instead I was doing other things, like doing a good job, hanging out with my girlfriend, and in the meantime I was remodeling my house, making it look new, and I was thinking about work, and my house, and my girlfriend, and how to make my own life happier. I feel that my PIED has improved by 80-90%, during this period, sex is basically successful and rarely fails. My thinking has changed from thinking about pornography every day before, to being more rational and thinking more like a normal person (normal people don't think about pornography every day).
Two years have passed and I feel I have been reborn, during which I also occasionally watch porn, it is like a hobby, but it is not a good hobby, because if you become addicted to it, it can cost you dearly! Now I have become more mature and stable, busy with work, life and accompanying my family every day, no longer thinking about pornography, but I have never forgotten the harm that pornography has brought me, I still often come to this website to see, to help other people who are Mired in the mire, seeing them just like seeing me then, feeling at a loss and feeling that the future is dark, but friends, believe me, I can do it and you can do it, and the idea that porn is harmless is wrong, don't be afraid if you're addicted, but there are ways to deal with it, focus on your own life, live your life to the fullest, and kick porn out
Kudos to you! Thank you for sharing your story. It truly gives hope and shows that, no matter how long or hard the way, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stay clean and be happy.