Need some advice

[FocusIsLove]

So I am a recovering addict, and I regular NoFap forums, but I am here because I know there are more partners of addicts on this forum. my need for help comes from a situation that my sister's husband(which I will refer to as BIL(brother-in-Law)), my BIL's father, mother and cousin.

I am just going to keep it brief to not seem to be gossiping. Basically the cousin lives with the father and mother. The father has been going off the deep end with PMO acting out(caught in public spaces of the house at daytime), also confirmed to be talking to other women and sending them money. The mother doesn't know everything, but also knows something is up(has made sharp remarks towards the father). I talk to my BIL about this, and he isn't sure what exactly to do. What is moral here? Start by informing his mother, confronting the father, or respecting their privacy? Some other option?

I know first hand how much damage porn addiction can cause in a relationship. I lost mine because of it. I know how messed up the mind of an addict is because I am still trying to fix mine. I just don't know. Part of me feels like something should be done, but I know it certainly isn't my place. The cousin and my BIL both feel similar but are also very unsure of which course of action to take. I know it's not my place to act directly, but I'd share any advice I get here with the BIL and cousin, and maybe they find it helpful. If anyone could give me their counsel I'd appreciate it.

 

[Billy T. Kidd]

No one talks an addict into quitting unless it is the addict themselves.

The guy you describe is ignorant, which means, literally, without knowledge. You could try to give him knowledge, but it probably would not go anyplace. The guy may not be an addict. He may not want to stop because he has no reason to stop. Remember, the definition of addiction is not merely engaging in conduct that can be addictive, but continuing to engage in that conduct after it has caused adverse consequences in one's life.

If you could get the guy alone, and stress it is in confidence, give him Gary Wilson's Great Porn Experiment Video and tell him how it has changed many people's view of how they use sexual behavior to obtain a high.

Here it is:

Gary's TEDx talk - "The Great Porn Experiment" (2012)

The Great Porn Experiment is one of the most popular and influential TEDx talks ever given. Gary Wilson expertly unpacks the influence of porn

www.yourbrainonporn.com

You will not talk him into changing his life, but maybe with education, he can talk himself into it.

Much love.

 

[FocusIsLove]

This has since come to a head. The wife knows and the aftermath is as rough as one could expect. My concerns were sated the moment I heard that. My BIL and sister are doing what they can to support them. I don't know the father well enough to recommend him any of the resources or avenues of dealing with this addiction, but I hope that he finds a pathway to healing. If the opportunity does arise I will remember your comment, so thank you.