Newborn Brain
Member
I've been thinking about the effects of PMO in my life and how this has been destructive.
Reading a recently posted statement yesterday, I was wondering about how much destruction P has brought to me.
To begin with, I think it is important to be completely honest with myself, so now I see that P has almost destroyed my self-esteem, my self-confidence, and my spiritual well being.
Besides, P has made me feel ashamed and dishonest, because when I was being paid to work and produce and I didn't do it; instead, I was watching P and many times MOing...
I've also noticed how P has almost destroyed my learning abilities. I've always been a very inteligent person and able to catch on things easily. But years of P has made me feel lazy and not willing to grow.
I am 42 years and still don't have a house of my own. I still have to pay rent and except for the academic knowledge, I haven't built much in my life, especially to enjoy better years when I am 50 or 60 and so...
But I am glad that I still have time to recover. Of course, I know, it won't be as easy as it is to those who have been living a life with more positive habits, but thanks God we all have time to make amends and improve our wrecked lives.
When I was thinking about the damages P and MOing cause, a picture came to my mind
of a cupboard being filled with bricks instead of that which was meant to be filled with.
The vision continued, showing me that P was the bricks and the piece of furniture was my brain.
Year after year I kept throwing the trash into my mind and substituting the old bricks for new ones, but what I didn't notice was that the process was damaging the cupboard, but I can see it now, as I started cleaning it out.
How much dust, scratches, nails out and off, and I can see too that my brain is hurt, suffers, and is not straight anymore.
Rebooting gave me the great chance to see all these things, and I know this is just the beginning.
I hope I can have the strength to keep going and enjoy the feeling of being clean, clean from the miserable stains and spots that P has left in my brain, and in my spirit.
I also comprehended that these 90 days necessary for reboot is only STEP 1.
When a drug addict starts their withdrawl from their addiction, they need quite some time to do it, until the drug is out of their bodies. I see that these 90 days rebooting is exactly this: getting the poison out of my brain and my body.
But the consequences remain.
Still, the healthier the thoughts, habits, and behavior, the better I know I will feel.
So, I am totally responsible for my health, my well being, my life.
And I thank God I still have the time to take care of it.
No matter if my parents didn't do it as well as they should have done.
The philosopher Sartre said: "What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us".
So, I can do it, and I'll do it.
I'll be able to seek and find what makes me really happy - not pleasure, only, but true happiness.
Damaged, yes.
But not terminated.
I love my Father in Heaven. I believe in Christ. This is MY experience. This has been crucial for my recovery.
Knowledge has been also paramount, for understanding what happens and how to fix it.
Yes, TODAY I started believing that I can be fixed.
I can be fixed by the Master who made me and created me: the Creator.
So, if this can happen to me, it can happen to all.
I wish you all the best in life and after it (for those who believe).
Reading a recently posted statement yesterday, I was wondering about how much destruction P has brought to me.
To begin with, I think it is important to be completely honest with myself, so now I see that P has almost destroyed my self-esteem, my self-confidence, and my spiritual well being.
Besides, P has made me feel ashamed and dishonest, because when I was being paid to work and produce and I didn't do it; instead, I was watching P and many times MOing...
I've also noticed how P has almost destroyed my learning abilities. I've always been a very inteligent person and able to catch on things easily. But years of P has made me feel lazy and not willing to grow.
I am 42 years and still don't have a house of my own. I still have to pay rent and except for the academic knowledge, I haven't built much in my life, especially to enjoy better years when I am 50 or 60 and so...
But I am glad that I still have time to recover. Of course, I know, it won't be as easy as it is to those who have been living a life with more positive habits, but thanks God we all have time to make amends and improve our wrecked lives.
When I was thinking about the damages P and MOing cause, a picture came to my mind
of a cupboard being filled with bricks instead of that which was meant to be filled with.
The vision continued, showing me that P was the bricks and the piece of furniture was my brain.
Year after year I kept throwing the trash into my mind and substituting the old bricks for new ones, but what I didn't notice was that the process was damaging the cupboard, but I can see it now, as I started cleaning it out.
How much dust, scratches, nails out and off, and I can see too that my brain is hurt, suffers, and is not straight anymore.
Rebooting gave me the great chance to see all these things, and I know this is just the beginning.
I hope I can have the strength to keep going and enjoy the feeling of being clean, clean from the miserable stains and spots that P has left in my brain, and in my spirit.
I also comprehended that these 90 days necessary for reboot is only STEP 1.
When a drug addict starts their withdrawl from their addiction, they need quite some time to do it, until the drug is out of their bodies. I see that these 90 days rebooting is exactly this: getting the poison out of my brain and my body.
But the consequences remain.
Still, the healthier the thoughts, habits, and behavior, the better I know I will feel.
So, I am totally responsible for my health, my well being, my life.
And I thank God I still have the time to take care of it.
No matter if my parents didn't do it as well as they should have done.
The philosopher Sartre said: "What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us".
So, I can do it, and I'll do it.
I'll be able to seek and find what makes me really happy - not pleasure, only, but true happiness.
Damaged, yes.
But not terminated.
I love my Father in Heaven. I believe in Christ. This is MY experience. This has been crucial for my recovery.
Knowledge has been also paramount, for understanding what happens and how to fix it.
Yes, TODAY I started believing that I can be fixed.
I can be fixed by the Master who made me and created me: the Creator.
So, if this can happen to me, it can happen to all.
I wish you all the best in life and after it (for those who believe).