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xavier17
Guest
I began getting into porn during my middle school years. As far as my sexual orientation goes, I think of myself as being "queer" although that may be an incorrect usage of the term. I have always been attracted to being dominated by females (since elementary school this desire has been powerful), and in the early high school years I went through a short "forced-bi" humiliation-type stint, although that has mostly disappeared. But I've never been into vanilla sex in any way.
Anyhow, it actually began with sites with erotic literature. I believe mrpoll.com was my favorite. There was a subculture of young dominant females and submissive males posting polls on how much better girls are than boys, and people wrote "true" experiences about getting dominated. I always simply observed these sites.
At some point I ran into my first findom site. Findom, or financial domination, is no fun. But it is highly intoxicating and erotic. To keep a long story short, I've been "practicing" findom (i.e. sending other women on the internet my money in exchange for demeaning comments and humiliation) for the past 5 or so years. It's probably added up to a sizeable sum at this point (~$2000) but this is not so much the issue.
The real issue is that it's incredibly distracting, addicting, and much to powerful for me. And I feel constant guilt and shame over trying to quit it and not being able to. I usually rationalize that since I am not into men or women in a conventional sense, it's okay for me to masturbate to such porn. But I know that I really need real interactions with real women, not these images on the internet. And I know I can make that happen if I try. So here I go. I'm "rebooting" starting now (sorry for the corny ending!)
Anyhow, it actually began with sites with erotic literature. I believe mrpoll.com was my favorite. There was a subculture of young dominant females and submissive males posting polls on how much better girls are than boys, and people wrote "true" experiences about getting dominated. I always simply observed these sites.
At some point I ran into my first findom site. Findom, or financial domination, is no fun. But it is highly intoxicating and erotic. To keep a long story short, I've been "practicing" findom (i.e. sending other women on the internet my money in exchange for demeaning comments and humiliation) for the past 5 or so years. It's probably added up to a sizeable sum at this point (~$2000) but this is not so much the issue.
The real issue is that it's incredibly distracting, addicting, and much to powerful for me. And I feel constant guilt and shame over trying to quit it and not being able to. I usually rationalize that since I am not into men or women in a conventional sense, it's okay for me to masturbate to such porn. But I know that I really need real interactions with real women, not these images on the internet. And I know I can make that happen if I try. So here I go. I'm "rebooting" starting now (sorry for the corny ending!)