SA

[persian29]

have huge big time social anxiety, performance anxiety, and stage fright, excessive sweating and a whole bunch of other anxiety related issues like worrying too much, always tense and nervous. body shakes, cant pee in public around anyone.... most of the time im a wreck on the inside. i know that i am addicted to porn. i always think about it when im on the computer. and i get this feeling in my gut of excitement or something. i just wondering if maybe my addictions related...

anyone have any material that related no pmo and any of the above problems.

any kind of inspiration or self experiences would be cool

 

[Yelashade]

persian29,

I think it's likely that your addiction is related to some of the things you've listed, though perhaps not all of them. I know I experienced social anxiety and performance anxiety, especially in my previous relationship. I used to be so confident going on stage, but lately I've gone shy. It does slowly fade away though, but you have to be consistent and relentless with your reboot. It's so easy to say for me, but you have to stay patient and hold on to the hope that it works out for you in the end. Keep yourself distracted (hobbies/sports/music etc) and away from the computer in the mean time! Hope this helps

 

[qrayzHD]

Within 30 days of no PMO my SA greatly improved, i was going out of my way to talk to people and didn't feel worried what they thought about me. If your SA is caused by PMO then quitting PMO will greatly improve it.

 

[Poker]

Find a good counsellor to help you.  Porn addiction is one thing....  depression and anxiety is something else.  Sounds like  you may have a lot of overlapping issues.

I posted this today in another thread....  I highly recommend you get it at a book store and read it cover to cover. 

I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression by Terrence Real

http://books.google.ca/books?id=t1oTjCzKPEsC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false


I think you would get a lot out of it...

Cheers,

p.

 

[persian29]

i feel like its only became worse with porn though

 

[toxicviper23]

Social anxiety and depression go hand in hand with porn addiction.  It has to do with less dopamine activity.  Not that less is being produced, but that your brain becomes less sensitive to it.  And thus, it will give you social anxiety and depression. 


Keep at it

 

[toofat]

In one of the videos that Gabe guy made, he made a comment along the lines of "just try it." And I believe the point was that the only thing you have to loose is a porn addiction, and yet with that lost comes the chance to gain so much more. That includes overcoming some of those problems that you feel you have now.

This site and a few others are full of material and I'm sure you are going to have no hard time in finding them so I'm not going to fill this post with a bunch of links. I will say that from a psychological/physiological and not addiction related stand point that keeping physically active helps leaps and bounds with a lot of the things you've listed. For that reason alone I would strongly encourage you to seek out ways to be more physically active. You could join a gym or try to find community fitness centers like at colleges. I know it's getting cold out, but when the weather's warmer you could consider taking up running.

The plus about this is that if your addiction is the problem staying physically active is a great way to help in getting over that addiction. And if it's not, then do it anyways because there is a strong connection between an increase in physical activity and improvement in those problem area.

 

[persian29]

In one of the videos that Gabe guy made, he made a comment along the lines of "just try it." And I believe the point was that the only thing you have to loose is a porn addiction, and yet with that lost comes the chance to gain so much more. That includes overcoming some of those problems that you feel you have now.

This site and a few others are full of material and I'm sure you are going to have no hard time in finding them so I'm not going to fill this post with a bunch of links. I will say that from a psychological/physiological and not addiction related stand point that keeping physically active helps leaps and bounds with a lot of the things you've listed. For that reason alone I would strongly encourage you to seek out ways to be more physically active. You could join a gym or try to find community fitness centers like at colleges. I know it's getting cold out, but when the weather's warmer you could consider taking up running.

The plus about this is that if your addiction is the problem staying physically active is a great way to help in getting over that addiction. And if it's not, then do it anyways because there is a strong connection between an increase in physical activity and improvement in those problem area.

i am physically active. normally work out for an hour a day + my job has me all over the place as well.

 

[toofat]

i am physically active. normally work out for an hour a day + my job has me all over the place as well.

That's really awesome that you are already physically active. Just in general. Part of me wants to say that it's too bad, but it's not the right words. Those words want to come out because I had high hopes that adding some physical activity would be an easy and straightforward thing to try and would work. Not that it's too bad that you already are.


As far as materials on these things being related goes, have you found anything so far that you've found helpful? I hope you have. I wish I could provide you with more information than what's already provided through yourbrainonporn.com, but honestly, I haven't really looked elsewhere since it's been enough information for me. (I'm just a spouse.)


Maybe this is just me being nosey, or maybe it's also because my husband has a lot of the same anxiety issues you have, I'm not sure. Either way, I would love if you don't mind keeping this thread updated with how things are going for you on this specific topic (anxiety). Most of the stuff I have been seeing around really focuses on the erectile dysfunction aspect, and-even though it's a concern-many of the things you've listed here seem just as important and I feel deserve some attention as well.


I may even make a suggestion to the moderators!


(side note: I think the biggest reason I had high hopes that adding physical activity would help is because it's one of the things my husband has been working toward incorperating)

 

[persian29]

i am physically active. normally work out for an hour a day + my job has me all over the place as well.

That's really awesome that you are already physically active. Just in general. Part of me wants to say that it's too bad, but it's not the right words. Those words want to come out because I had high hopes that adding some physical activity would be an easy and straightforward thing to try and would work. Not that it's too bad that you already are.


As far as materials on these things being related goes, have you found anything so far that you've found helpful? I hope you have. I wish I could provide you with more information than what's already provided through yourbrainonporn.com, but honestly, I haven't really looked elsewhere since it's been enough information for me. (I'm just a spouse.)


Maybe this is just me being nosey, or maybe it's also because my husband has a lot of the same anxiety issues you have, I'm not sure. Either way, I would love if you don't mind keeping this thread updated with how things are going for you on this specific topic (anxiety). Most of the stuff I have been seeing around really focuses on the erectile dysfunction aspect, and-even though it's a concern-many of the things you've listed here seem just as important and I feel deserve some attention as well.


I may even make a suggestion to the moderators!


(side note: I think the biggest reason I had high hopes that adding physical activity would help is because it's one of the things my husband has been working toward incorperating)

I feel like this program is helping a little. I havnt PMO in like 10 or 11 days now and i feel a bit better. I really just think that I need to try and stick with this for the long haul. I have never been able to make it for more than 21 days. The longest I went without PMO was when I deployed a few years ago, and honestly, I think i felt less stress cause i didnt have that type of material to look at.

 

[persian29]

This was a quote off nofap.org. just wanted to share something else with the rebootnation community as i know we are all on the same team.

Quote Originally Posted by Willingness  View Post
Something that has helped me a lot in regards to feeling anxious is I will take an interest in other people. I find that when I'm feeling nervous or self-conscious, afraid, whatever it may be, it's because I'm too focused on myself. What do they think of me? How should I be? What should I say? Am I being cool? These thoughts all have one thing in common, they're thoughts about me! Shift the focus, think about other people in a way that doesn't come across as you wanting something from them. Ask them a question without placing any significance on their answer. Be completely indifferent to the way they respond. Don't be arrogant about it. Just feel good about the fact that you actually did something, as opposed to just thinking about doing something and not doing anything. Don't place expectations on the way they respond, just enjoy being around others. It's not all about you!





and then this is what i wrote:



I feel like this is very much me a lot of the time and im always thinking about people looking at me and judging me. im not the most handsome guy so i feel kinda nervous when people start looking at me. i especially hate sitting at dinner tables now cause i feel like im being judged the entire time i eat and people are looking at me then i start sweating profusely and my hands shake and its hard to control. its embarassing and i start judging myself and everytime i have to go to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face but thats only a temporary relief till i sit at the table again. i am just really fed up with this. i can talk to people fine if we are just sitting in the living room or something but with the same people at the dinner table i start looking inward at myself and my heard starts racing and i get very hot and the above mentioned side effects hit me.

thanks for your input. i just really need help and i dont know what to do. i am in the military and i dont want to go to a dr or anything cause it may hurt my career. i dont want to take any meds either. i want to fix my brain without any kind of substances. if anyone has any suggestions please help me lol

 

[toofat]

Dude, that's awesome that you found something that you feel is helpful. Even better is that you chose to share it here. I personally have taken something away from that-so thanks.


This sort of reminds me of something I recently learned about call "Inverse Narcissism". It's not the same by any means, but it does remind me of it. Perhaps the path to healing the social anxiety may be to take some ques from the path that inverted narcissist often have to follow.


Who knows.

 

[persian29]

Dude, that's awesome that you found something that you feel is helpful. Even better is that you chose to share it here. I personally have taken something away from that-so thanks.


This sort of reminds me of something I recently learned about call "Inverse Narcissism". It's not the same by any means, but it does remind me of it. Perhaps the path to healing the social anxiety may be to take some ques from the path that inverted narcissist often have to follow.


Who knows.

interesting concept. i have found though that staying busy helps but once im not busy my mind wanders and i go insane thinking negatively. i also have bad performance anxiety with anything. body shakes, trembling, shaking, tight chest and cant talk without gasping for air, sweating, flushing in the face, and more