when is it safe to have sex with gf?

[sophomore]

i've been free from P for almost 2 months, free from MO for the last 10 days.

During those 2 months, I've tried to have sex for 7 times, out of which one time has been successful.

But after the successful sex, I exprienced wild chaser effect, which made me MO for 10 days out of 17 days.

So I thought that O through sex is still closely connected to MO in my brain.

I've heard that during the early phase of the reboot, it is not safe to have sex because the orgrasm exprienced through sex stimulates the old neural pathways that's related to the addiction to porn and MO.

It's been for me to go without porn, but MO seems to be the problem. I'm convinced from my experience that MO is not good for penile erection.

So I'm trying to go without MO for the rest of my life, but from time to time I fantasize about my gf, and have the urge to MO.

Anyways, for me, at this stage of my reboot, I can't get erections from kissing or cuddling or etc. But I can get erections with viagra+a little handjob from my gf.

So I'm wondering, considering my situation, when will it be appropriate to have sex with gf, not to stimulate the chaser effect?

Also, should I wait until I can get erections just by kissing without the help of viagra?

 

[Username]

I'd answer your ultimate question with a plain "Yes". Do engage in any sexual behavior with your girlfriend as long as you both feel comfortable about it. Don't force it, don't rely too heavily on drugs. Depending on your past it might take a bit longer for you to reboot completely - there's no simple answer applying to everybody. Be patient and hang in there!

 

[PresidentCoolidge]

I agree that it's a good policy to avoid MO, potentially for the rest of your life. As an experienced rebooter, I made this decision because, although masturbation can be healthy, when you wire your brain to porn from a young age, it's hard to make the distinction between masturbation and porn. After nine months of no porn or masturbation (a few orgasms) I slowly stared MOing without porn. I began slowly reimanging porn scenes which is really the same thing as watching porn. So...definitely stay away from MOing. I know that there are some guys who fully reboot and can continue MOing, but I choose not to.

As far as when it's "safe" to have sex, I would say immediately. Even if you can't get an erection, you can help yourself rewire by kissing and cuddling. Also...remember that it's still possible to have sex with a mediocre erection. We're convinced that we have to have rock hard erections like male pornstars, but the fact is that those guys often take viagra and inject drugs into their penis, effectively ruining their sex lives forever.

And finally, when you do start getting erections back you can try something called kareeza, which is a style of sex whereby to engage in slow, gentle intercourse while avoiding orgasm. This can be very beneficial because it allows you to rewire to real sex while avoiding the possibility of flatline from an orgasm. 

 

[fugu]

I would say that the best indicator that you can have sex is consistent, responsive, naturally erections when you are rewiring with your partner. If you don't have those yet, it's probably (but not always) in your best interest to avoid orgasms a little longer.

This isn't ALWAYS true. Some people find that the more orgasms they had with their partner, the better their sexual responsiveness became. Here is a story of one such guy! http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=11691.0

I will say, though, that while this works for some people, the majority find they need avoid orgasms until sexual function is regained.