Time to come clean


New Member
I feel like I've totally lost control over my porn use...I can go a few days, even weeks, without looking but before you know it I'll surf for 3 hours...I've had it. Any strategies to help reboot successfully?


Active Member
It helps to make it as hard as possible to access sexual material, keep the internet out of your bedroom but if that isn't possible then K9 porn filter is a popular app and does slow you down a bit, i also suggest you avoid YouTube and music video channels. Most people agree that hardmode is the most effective way to reboot which means no masturbation and no artificial sexual stimulation. Counters aren't for everyone but for me showing everyone how many days i have gone makes me feel more accountable and less likely to view porn, best wishes for your reboot  ;)

K9 porn filter: http://download.cnet.com/K9-Web-Protection/3000-27064_4-10487710.html


I agree with grayz. I been down this path too many times. I would delude myself into thinking, masturbating would help. My brain would bring past images into focus. That was enough of a trigger to start the cycle all over again. At best, I would be maybe 3 weeks into my reboot. This time I am determined. That means no MO. I don't think sex with my wife is in the near future either. I need time.
I wish you well in your journey


Active Member
I agree with the OPs, hardmode is an effective way to go.  For me, even MO without P seemed compulsive.  For many,  one leads to the other.  I suggest a period of absolute abstinence for at least 30 days.  You may learn what specific behaviors are addictive to you.  As a sex addict, I have found that regularily attending SAA meetings had kept me on the straightened arrow.  There are many tools to recovery for anyone who is truly wanting to live porn free. 


All of the above posters have really awesome suggestions. I'm not rebooting, but I'm trying to be a supporting pillar for someone who is. A few of the things that seem to be helping the most comes from some of Gabe's youtube videos. Since someone suggested staying away from youtube, I'm not going to post the link to the channel, but if you wanted to find it I'm sure you could. However, I will list some of the things my husband has done so far, as well as things I wish he would do that were included in that video.
  • "If its not real, no deal": This included things like NOT watching booty shaking videos (youtube and Vine!-especially vine). Also fantasizing. I guess just always ask yourself, "Is this real (a real person or experience)?"
  • Rewire you brain (to a real person). This applies since we are in a committed relationship. I don't know how this can be done if on hard mode or when not in a relationship, though it doesn't just mean sex. He listed: simply being around people, kissing, cuddling, holding etc.  (You may begin to notice post about people paying for sex (sexual acts) or pursuing casual encounters.)
  • Move the computer: This has a couple of reasons and the biggest one is to be in a place where you don't feel comfortable looking at porn. Also, because changing the environment that may contain triggers. For my husband he always used headphones. We threw them out (They were old and busted anyways). In the video, he moved in to his living room, for us we moved it into the bedroom. (He most often watched at night when I was asleep).
  • Learn everything you can. Self explanatory, and you seem to be going this route.
  • Cut out a lot of things... radio, most movies, anything that can remind you of porn, possibly trigger the pathways related to in your brain to flare up, or make a down situation feel worse.
  • Find other things to do. A lot of the time spent watching porn is just wasted time in which you could be doings something productive. Also, a lot of the time spent on the internet in general is kind of a waste. Go get fit, learn something new, join a club.
Not in the videos:
  • Communicate more with me about how and what he's feeling. Even though he's taken a the above steps I sometimes feel like since then everything has been passive. I know it's probably easy for him in the first weeks, but I'm concerned for when they begin to get hard. I would like to see him being more proactive about avoiding future troubles. I think that in communication what going on now, it would help to prepare for what may come. For you it may mean being more active on this forum.
If you click the link in my signature, it will take you to my blog. There is a post I made that is schedule to publish tomorrow morning (I go on blogging binges and a write a bunch of post but schedule them for different days so that it's not so much at once). It list all of the things I would do if I were quitting.