ray-reboot101
Member
Hi there,
I found this site by accident, (or maybe it was fate) and decided to start a reboot for 90 days.
A little bit of background to my story:
I grew up before high speed internet, so experienced the usual awkward boners and shit during school and girls always intimidated me. Had a couple of girlfriends after high school, and then became really religious. I was felt that sex before marriage is a huge sin towards God, and I stayed away from them.
The irony of that was, I went to porn instead. To me it was the lesser evil, but the idea of having sexual urges always scared me. Maybe it was my religious upbringing.
Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I started dating and sleeping with girls, still filled with massive guilt after the act of sex, but always wanted it.
Started seeing a woman on and off for about a year, and then circumstances happened and fast forward 2 more years and she died of cancer.
After this, I started drinking alot and using porn heavily and also visiting massage parlours. I felt wierd about the shit I was looking at, because its wierd, but after seeing the movie "your brain on porn" i realised i was not alone.
Started watching tenticle stuff, bukkake and the whole works. Then I was in a manic state and went to Japan recently. I was there in 2007 and could not believe how beautiful all the girls were. I went with my Gf at the time and she was furious at me because I could not stop staring at how gorgeous they were.
Anyway, this time I went the girls seemed blank. Just normal. And the female body just seemed mundane too.
I know this sounds strange and I feel strange typing about it, but its honest and I think its because of porn. I've ejaculated over such extreme shit, that basic girl to guy interactions seem so mundaine and boring.
Especially when the girl thinks shes hot and snobs you off.
Anyway, its time to move on.
Thanks for making it this far if your still reading this. I probably sound like some fucked up case, but I dont care.
Time to reboot!
I found this site by accident, (or maybe it was fate) and decided to start a reboot for 90 days.
A little bit of background to my story:
I grew up before high speed internet, so experienced the usual awkward boners and shit during school and girls always intimidated me. Had a couple of girlfriends after high school, and then became really religious. I was felt that sex before marriage is a huge sin towards God, and I stayed away from them.
The irony of that was, I went to porn instead. To me it was the lesser evil, but the idea of having sexual urges always scared me. Maybe it was my religious upbringing.
Anyway, fast forward a few years, and I started dating and sleeping with girls, still filled with massive guilt after the act of sex, but always wanted it.
Started seeing a woman on and off for about a year, and then circumstances happened and fast forward 2 more years and she died of cancer.
After this, I started drinking alot and using porn heavily and also visiting massage parlours. I felt wierd about the shit I was looking at, because its wierd, but after seeing the movie "your brain on porn" i realised i was not alone.
Started watching tenticle stuff, bukkake and the whole works. Then I was in a manic state and went to Japan recently. I was there in 2007 and could not believe how beautiful all the girls were. I went with my Gf at the time and she was furious at me because I could not stop staring at how gorgeous they were.
Anyway, this time I went the girls seemed blank. Just normal. And the female body just seemed mundane too.
I know this sounds strange and I feel strange typing about it, but its honest and I think its because of porn. I've ejaculated over such extreme shit, that basic girl to guy interactions seem so mundaine and boring.
Especially when the girl thinks shes hot and snobs you off.
Anyway, its time to move on.
Thanks for making it this far if your still reading this. I probably sound like some fucked up case, but I dont care.
Time to reboot!