Journal of a 38 year old virgin...

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CrateDane

Active Member
Day 61

Woot, 2 months already!
Im seeing some great improvements in my life, whether its from not watching porn, getting a girlfriend, losing weight or any of the other big life changes I have made I dont know, but I would be surprised if it wasnt a combination of them all.
I have almost no desire to watch porn at all anymore, I do feel tremendously horny at times but it is a lust for my girlfriend and not the quick fix of the "fake" people in porn movies.
When I know sex with my girlfriend is off the table for several days I miss masturbating, not the old kind of masturbating that included but a more "pure" version involving only fantasies. I havent given in yet but Im not so sure it will be possible for all eternity :)
My life feels more right than it has in many, many years, maybe my entire adulthood.
So trucking on!
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 63

Not much new except I slipped and sprained my wrist today, bad side is obviously that it hurts and makes doing everyday stuff a pita, good side is that it takes my mind off how horny I am  8)
Oh and this week marks 10 kilos lost as part of my diet change/exercise, I started the same day as I stopped PMO. So 10 kilos in 9 weeks, includin xmas and newyears eve does feel pretty good.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
lyon03 said:
You'll look like Thor in no time. Great work my friend.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately I can't grow a beard like that (The Avengers Thor has nothing to do with the Mythological Thor) :)

Day 65

Turns out my wrist is indeed broken so now Im wearing all sorts of bandages and casts on my arm and everything is such a hassle to do, ofcourse it had to be my right arm that got injured...
Hasn't impacted my no PMO mission though, the thoughts are generally farm from my mind. Luckily I'm still able to be with my girlfriend.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 68

Yesterday was amazing. We had the best sex yet, not only did I get a strong erection but I also lasted for quite a while and it feels like sensation in my penis is slowly improving.
Most importantly we both had a great time!
I feel Im slowly beating this thing, but I also know (from reading the many stories here) that Im nowhere near being out of the woods yet.
So trucking on!
 
Gwynbleidd

Gwynbleidd

Member
Very nice to read your story. Seems like you are trucking on the road to the best times in your life. I am happy for you and your girlfriend.

Right now for me its hard to image that the reboot actually works and that the erection will be strong like in younger days where you just had to think of or feel somebody to get insanely aroused.

Are you still taking pills for the sex or is it all natural what you are experiencing the last time you went for it?

All the best for the future. Great to read about such life changes.

 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
I used the pills the last couple of times and I will keep using them for a while, then I will try to reduce dosage and then quit them entirely. Ofcourse this is only if the sex is planned, if it is spontaneous I dont use the pills. The erection is stronger with the pills but I can feel my natural erection getting stronger as well.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 69

We had a quickie today which is proving to be something Im not very good at.
I get way too tense when I know its a quickie, both because I havent taken a viagra pill (our quickies are always spontaneous) but also because I feel we dont have "time" to wait for my erection to be at its strongest, so I flex my pelvic muscles sort of hoping to force the erection which never works.
Then once penetration occurs it is generally over in a minute or even less because Im so tense and my pelvic muscles are still tight thus making me ejaculate way too quickly, I dont take the time it requires to relax.
I definately need to work on this tension or it will keep bugging me and eventually the girlfriend.
I also need to get rid of the idea that flexing the pelvic muscles will do anything for my erection.

Im fairly certain the slowness of my erections is due to PMO, and I think the tension is mainly caused by the performance anxiety, which increased by the whole setting surrounding a quickie, but also PMO which is a constant shadow. Fading every day but it is still ingering.


I find Im having less morning wood these days, not sure why and not sure whether I should be worried about it or not.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 71

Plodding a long nice and slow. Not sure there is anything interesting to report other than everything moving in the right direction.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 75

Not much new under the sun, everything is going forward.
It has been a few annoying days since the last post though, while the hand is improving it is still a royal PITA and family issues has been the cause of more than one worried thought. Everything does seem to be clearing up though.
 
lyon03

lyon03

Respected Member
Hey brother. I haven't checked in with you for a while and, SHE-BANG, I see you're at 78 days. That's incredible my friend. Congratulations! Keep going my Viking warrior.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Thanks Lyon and I see you're well past 100 days which is awesome!

Day 80
The last week or so has been up and down, everything is going well with the reboot but the girlfriend has been so tremendously tired so we havent had as much us time as we would have liked.
We did have a very good day yesterday though so here is to hoping that her job slows down a little :)
All in all, everything is going forward.
 
lyon03

lyon03

Respected Member
My pleasure my friend. We're all in this together. Life has its ups and downs brother, but you are so far ahead of where you were just 80 days ago. Yes your girlfriend may be tired, but you have a girlfriend! Like you, I am very lucky to have someone else in my life and every day isn't rainbows and unicorns but it's still pretty damn good I think. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. You're an inspiration!
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
TimeToLive said:
This is a very inspiring thread. 38 year old virgin here too, just starting on this whole journey.
Click to expand...

You're in for a ride, both good and rought times. I wish you all the strength in the world!

Day 83

I feel a certain sense of pride that Im nearing the 90 days without porn, before this whole thing started I didnt think it would have been possible and without the girlfriend it probably wouldnt have.
Going from doing PMO at least once every day to not doing it for so long is a little mindboggling. It leaves me more alive I think and definately infinitely more horny :)
These are good times!
 
Gwynbleidd

Gwynbleidd

Member
You will do it! Enjoy life, enjoy your girlfriend!

I started to make notes on my mobile for the important stuff in life and for my own foundation. My first two are:

- Enjoy life

and

- Talk to people

haha.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Day 85

Been a wonderful day today. Been with the girlfriend all afternoon and evening, we had great sex (without Viagra for the first time in over a month) and cooked an awesome dinner.
When it comes to the erection Im happy to say it has improved when not using Viagra as opposed to a month or two ago, I can hold it much easier once stimulation stops but I still suffer from PE which can get pretty annoying.
Now with the Viagra I can have an ejaculation really early and still be ready for round 2 and satisfy the girlfriend with regular intercourse, this is not possible without Viagra as I take too long to recover (literally hours).
So this combination of news means the following, I do not fear the spontaneous sex as much as I know I can get an erection and hold it well enough, but it might not be that satisfying for the girlfriend (thankfully I can satisfy her in other ways), but when it comes to planned sex I prefer to use the Viagra still.
So part 1 of the problem, erection is mainly fixed but part 2, namely the PE, still annoys me.
 
fapfreezone

fapfreezone

Active Member
Have you read "She comes first?" it's a book about orally satisfying women by a sexologist who suffers with PE. He says to give her an orgasm from oral before penetration. I wonder if he thinks this due to his PE, because that way she'd be less bothered about the PE. TBH though, this isn't really my area of expertise, but i thought you might benefit from the suggestion.
 
C

CrateDane

Active Member
Oh its not an issue with satisfying her, whether orally or with the fingers but there is something special about doing it through an intercourse. To be honest I havent heard any complaints from her so at this point its really myself who is complaining.
I have read many tips and suggestions for dealing with the PE and one thing that has proved good so far is me getting a real quick ejaculation and then cuddlin/focusing on her and then when Im ready again we can do it "properly", ofcourse this only works if I have taken a Viagra pill because otherwise I take too long to get ready again.

Day 88

Been a wonderful weekend, spent the entire time with the girlfriend, her family and our dogs.
Lots of chores got done, lots of great food was cooked and eaten and generally a great time was had.
There were a couple of quickies which went really well so my fear of those is definately fading.
So close to day 90 now!
 
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