Some questions I'm struggling with and some help would mean a lot to me

[polispiou]

Hello, I'm new here but I've been reading this forum every now and then. I'm a virgin, 22, and I  suffer from pied for more than 1 year now (well since I realised that I suffer from pied would be more correct). The first few time I tried to reboot I would relapse in a week or two. And even during my long efforts of 2-3 months there would still be some P, in form of pictures or stories.. So I'm not even close to cured yet.. For the last 3 months there have been only 2 days when I watched porn and about 4that I M and O. What I want to ask you guys is that if just M without P and O is bad. Can someone recover if he doesn't completely abandon everything in PMO for a month or more? Also the past couple of months I met this girl that when we meet alone she will give oral to me or give me a handjob. Most of the time I manage to get hard before she touches anything but I just can't get it up for more than a minute.. Is this bad for my rewiring process? Also she often send me photos of hers or give me a can show, should I avoid that? If someone could answer to my questions and maybe point 1-2 things out to help me overcome this hell I would be more than thankful.
Thanks in advance

 

[Fappy]

Hey mate, welcome to the forum!
For a start, any time you go without looking at porny porn is an accomplishment! Dont beat yourself up about it (no pun intended).
Porn addiction is still addiction. Your brain changes as it becomes wired with the constant dopamine releases you get from fapping to porn. You need it more and more until you cant even get through half a day without using your iphone to have a jerk. And youll do anything to get it too.
The mess porn makes of the chemicals in your brain is scary.
But there is hope! Youve backslided a few times. Oh well. Not game over. Just keep at it and keep going longer and longer.
As for the naked pics of your gf, well i guess its tugging your cock to someone you love and care about so in that sense its not as bad as ripping your knob to some crack whore on the internet.
One step, one day at a time.

 

[polispiou]

Thanks for the reply! It means a lot that someone actually hears me.
I think though that I'm past the point of that unbearable urge to watch porn. The 2 times I watched porn in the past months was because I was upset about different stuff, got myself stuck in thoughts and with a PC in hand.. That's a terrible combination..
But even though I dont have that urge, I haven't seen much progress during the past months. Still, low libido while i'm with my partner and cant maintain an erection long enough. Surely it's not even close to the first time I faced that problem about a year ago, there is surely a progress. At first I couldnt even hold it up for a BJ. In that period of 3 months I experienced only one... raging hard on.. most of the times its mild.
Also what about my other question? Is it bad that she is making me orgasm through oral sex or some times just by using her hands? What about phone sex, watching her play with herself through video chat? I'm sorry if I ask the same thing over and over again.. I'm just kind of anxious and I cant really sort out my thoughts and express them in an order, that's why I'm pouring stuff out I should actually have mentioned in the first place...  I just need answers.. Or just to be assured that I'm not on the wrong way. I want to make this work..
Please bear with me
By the way is there anyone with a simiral story as mine?

 

[Vincent]

hey buddy.
First off: everybody can recover! keep that in mind.
As for your condition: you might start with hard mode and leave all stuff aside including M. However: this is not an easy thing. Porn Blockers like K9 or Open DNS can help you a lot with getting started (eventually you will have to beat it by willpower hovever) and I would surely recommend them.
What you should do in any case: try to get rid of all porn related stuff! Even the pics. Because you don't need the pics: you HAVE the real thing. So see this as a possibility to rewire. You will see how fast progress will come if you keep visual stimulation and you sex-life as two seperate things.

As for edging (M until short before O and then stopping it): it is not helpful - or better it was not to me. If you really want to include MO into your reboot then you will have to do it without stimulation at all. But since you already said you have PIED I recommend at least 2 to 4 weeks without anything. Withdrawals will be harsh.....really. But keep in mind that you can always write on here whenever you need to. Everybody is happy to help.

in general the reboot and rewiring takes a lot of time and determination. Do not give up.

As for your second question: Videochat will have the same effect on you, as porn has. If you feel ok about it, you could tell her about your problem.

There is a lot of guys here, including me, that share your story and condition. But everybody is different again.
My advice for you: make your own plan, discuss it with somebody, work you an endgame and then see how far you can come. If you fail don't think about it too much - use the experience to analyze the reason for the fail. Most people don't fail because of their porn addiction habits but because they simply are used to take porn as a stress reliever and have already incorporated it in their life like the daily cup of coffee. Break that habit, break your misery!

you can do it"!