Out_of_The_Pits
Member
Well I've been going alone on this for a while and I was able to go for like 3 months but just relapsed today. I need some help on things.
Totally lost on how to start this. I guess I'll summarize my experience so far. I've had this problem from childhood. Things went really bad back than, thus leaving me depressed and isolated. Actually I've had intermittent depression problems for as long as I can remember. For some reason I ended up looking at some really degrading stuff. I didn't really know it was because of its sexual nature. I was just fascinated for some reason. I started on the creepy stuff. Since then I've been trying to quit, 9 years.
So I'm attempting to quit. If I can get past the hump I'll be able to maintain it for a long time. Than I get a bad depressive spell. I get through this fine, and come out the otherside fine. My creativity returns. Usually I forget I had a problem at all and something happens where I remember and am totally not prepared for it. I remind myself that the porn is a symptom not the problem. I also try to relax since this is an ocd thing, but I relapse causing me to get depressed again.
Questions:
How do I stop this cycle?
Can withdrawal cause short bouts of Hypomania/painful dysphoria? I've never had these experiences before. They're intense and exhausting. like 16 hour long periods occurring day after day with no warning other than stress. They go away as fast as they came too, and only happen when I'm panicky, and have forgotten porn.
How do you deal with emotions getting in the way of your recovery?
What techniques can you use to accept your feelings during the bad times when you've had this crutch for so long? I want to learn emotional strength like normal people have.
Being an extreme introvert in a new town. How do you build a social life? What do adults do for fun other than drinks/movies? I've moved around so much I haven't had many friends since grade school.
anxiety tricks? this seams to be the big trigger for relapse. After I feel better I drop my guard and that's when I relapse. I get one thought and I don't know how to stop it. then I get cravings for a few days till I give in.
Totally lost on how to start this. I guess I'll summarize my experience so far. I've had this problem from childhood. Things went really bad back than, thus leaving me depressed and isolated. Actually I've had intermittent depression problems for as long as I can remember. For some reason I ended up looking at some really degrading stuff. I didn't really know it was because of its sexual nature. I was just fascinated for some reason. I started on the creepy stuff. Since then I've been trying to quit, 9 years.
So I'm attempting to quit. If I can get past the hump I'll be able to maintain it for a long time. Than I get a bad depressive spell. I get through this fine, and come out the otherside fine. My creativity returns. Usually I forget I had a problem at all and something happens where I remember and am totally not prepared for it. I remind myself that the porn is a symptom not the problem. I also try to relax since this is an ocd thing, but I relapse causing me to get depressed again.
Questions:
How do I stop this cycle?
Can withdrawal cause short bouts of Hypomania/painful dysphoria? I've never had these experiences before. They're intense and exhausting. like 16 hour long periods occurring day after day with no warning other than stress. They go away as fast as they came too, and only happen when I'm panicky, and have forgotten porn.
How do you deal with emotions getting in the way of your recovery?
What techniques can you use to accept your feelings during the bad times when you've had this crutch for so long? I want to learn emotional strength like normal people have.
Being an extreme introvert in a new town. How do you build a social life? What do adults do for fun other than drinks/movies? I've moved around so much I haven't had many friends since grade school.
anxiety tricks? this seams to be the big trigger for relapse. After I feel better I drop my guard and that's when I relapse. I get one thought and I don't know how to stop it. then I get cravings for a few days till I give in.