Hey everyone,
I am a 24 year old (25 now) male in New York who has kept an eye on this site and YBOP for a few months now, but never decided to really get involved through the forums until now.
History:
High School - Dated a few girls, but never really had the urge to have sex or get intimate. Porn use was probably once a week or whenever I could get it.
College - I got my iPhone and laptop and was away from the family. I masturbated 2-3 times a day (or so it seemed) in college. I still did okay in school and kept up with organizations and volunteering, but never lived up to my potential. That is for sure. I tried having sex a few times in college and dated around 10 women in college, but it either ended eventually or I just never cared to push it forward. I kept having these issues, and, worse, I let it get into my head and made me doubt my sexuality for a long while. When I needed to fantasize about gay sex to get hard, I went into panic mode. Towards my senior year, I got offers to have sex from random women I didn't date multiple times and didn't even go for it.
Year or two after college - I naturally cut down on porn because of work, but because I work partly from home, there are still days I relapse multiple times. I'm considering switching jobs even though I like the job a lot and it pays well. At this point though, is it worth keeping myself in front of the computer and perpetuating this compulsion/addiction. Is my career more important than my sexual and mental health? I still go out and have an active social life, but my sexual life is atrocious. I push girls away all the time and the 5 times I have tried having sex in the last 6 to 12 months, I failed. I had 100 % ED and don't feel the need to be intimate.
For all those people counting, I have only been hard enough to penetrate a girl with a condom 2 times and I came only 1 time. That 1 time I did cum, I was ramming her pretty fucking hard and fantasizing so not the best experience.
Why I am here - I want to not only be able to get erections again, but I also want the need to feel intimate with a woman. I also need to get my confidence back up to actually take a girl home. I have no problem hitting on a girl, but always think about sex and back up even after having a chance at sex in the bag. I have done some short reboots (7 days, 14 days, 20 days, 30 days), but nothing significant.
Current Progress - I am currently around 50 days and trying to reach 2 months and then hopefully 3 months down the road. I'm at the point where I have rebooting for the last few years reaching 3, 4, and 5 weeks until eventually relapsing. I want to make sure I reach the following milestones and build good habits along the way:
-1 week
-2 weeks
-3 weeks
-4 weeks
-1 month (30 days)
-5 weeks
-6 weeks
-7 weeks - Wet dream on day 44 (first in 11 years or so)
-8 weeks - Wet dream on day 52; Peeked at porn on day 54
-2 months (61 days)
-9 weeks
-10 weeks
-11 weeks
-12 weeks
-3 months/ 13 weeks (91 days)
- 15 weeks
- 4 months
- 5 months
- 6 months
I will be updating my current progress as much as I can.
I am a 24 year old (25 now) male in New York who has kept an eye on this site and YBOP for a few months now, but never decided to really get involved through the forums until now.
History:
High School - Dated a few girls, but never really had the urge to have sex or get intimate. Porn use was probably once a week or whenever I could get it.
College - I got my iPhone and laptop and was away from the family. I masturbated 2-3 times a day (or so it seemed) in college. I still did okay in school and kept up with organizations and volunteering, but never lived up to my potential. That is for sure. I tried having sex a few times in college and dated around 10 women in college, but it either ended eventually or I just never cared to push it forward. I kept having these issues, and, worse, I let it get into my head and made me doubt my sexuality for a long while. When I needed to fantasize about gay sex to get hard, I went into panic mode. Towards my senior year, I got offers to have sex from random women I didn't date multiple times and didn't even go for it.
Year or two after college - I naturally cut down on porn because of work, but because I work partly from home, there are still days I relapse multiple times. I'm considering switching jobs even though I like the job a lot and it pays well. At this point though, is it worth keeping myself in front of the computer and perpetuating this compulsion/addiction. Is my career more important than my sexual and mental health? I still go out and have an active social life, but my sexual life is atrocious. I push girls away all the time and the 5 times I have tried having sex in the last 6 to 12 months, I failed. I had 100 % ED and don't feel the need to be intimate.
For all those people counting, I have only been hard enough to penetrate a girl with a condom 2 times and I came only 1 time. That 1 time I did cum, I was ramming her pretty fucking hard and fantasizing so not the best experience.
Why I am here - I want to not only be able to get erections again, but I also want the need to feel intimate with a woman. I also need to get my confidence back up to actually take a girl home. I have no problem hitting on a girl, but always think about sex and back up even after having a chance at sex in the bag. I have done some short reboots (7 days, 14 days, 20 days, 30 days), but nothing significant.
Current Progress - I am currently around 50 days and trying to reach 2 months and then hopefully 3 months down the road. I'm at the point where I have rebooting for the last few years reaching 3, 4, and 5 weeks until eventually relapsing. I want to make sure I reach the following milestones and build good habits along the way:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- 15 weeks
- 4 months
- 5 months
- 6 months
I will be updating my current progress as much as I can.