Should I go to pay-sex

[xune22]

Hi

I am 23 now and started to watch porn when I was 13.

I have a bit depression, anxieties and a lot social phobia.

I always used porn to compensate my anxieties, stress(which was really really much), when I was bored or just to
get happier until I found the nofap and yourbrainonporn for about 2 months ago.

First I could hold on up to 11 days, than 17 days and now I
have started from beginning and am in 18 days. I think this time
I can hold on up to four weeks.

The following content could be not good if you are trying to quit


Here is my small problem:
Last week I started to look for an escort. I am 23 now and never
had sex. I know that having pay-sex does't give you true fulfillment
but I am a man and have sexual needs.

I wrote with the escort agency a few days long and that stimulated me really until now.
I am scared that I could relapse to pornography.

I don't know how to handle it.
I know that having sex with a real partner is much better but at the moment
I don't want a relationship because I have too much unresolved problems
where I am working on.

But the fact is that I also have the needs to touch a woman and feel her breasts,
kiss her,smell her hair and feel her heartbeat on my skin.
There is a so called Girlfriendsex, which some women provide in this sector.
I don't want adult entertainment like in porn but sex.
I wouldn't also want her to make things like in porn.

I am also scared that my porn problem could shift to a sexual addiction problem
with financial crisis. I read that having an Escort girl can lead to financial crisis.

Finally I would like to know if it makes you more secure infront of women.
People tell me that I am too shy and I read in several forums that some
people got rid of their shyness.

I would also like to know if someone has made a positive experience with that.

 

[Free]

Dude. Having sex with an escort wont fulfill that need youre talking about.
I know that its difficult but hold on, it will feel easier with time.

If you have unresolved issues that makes you unable to have a relationship - Solve them first. There is no other way.

Prostitutes is basically slaves. They are not just free women who does it because they like it. They are horribly broken.
Dont feed the dark side of the world, take a stand for the good.

Love.
/Free

 

[kopp]

If you have unresolved issues that makes you unable to have a relationship - Solve them first. There is no other way.

This guy is right.

having sex with an escort wont fix anything and will add more problems

 

[Fappy]

Just think that the money the prozzie gets from you is money she will use to buy meth or crack. Dont be a party to her drug addiction and dont add fuel to your fire. Whats the difference between her and your hand? The differnce is that your hand wont give you an STD and wont go and shoot shit into her arm after.

 

[fightthefight]

Dude. Having sex with an escort wont fulfill that need youre talking about.
I know that its difficult but hold on, it will feel easier with time.

If you have unresolved issues that makes you unable to have a relationship - Solve them first. There is no other way.

Prostitutes is basically slaves. They are not just free women who does it because they like it. They are horribly broken.
Dont feed the dark side of the world, take a stand for the good.

Love.
/Free

This.

I know the temptation is difficult. Once you cut porn out of your life, suddenly all the legitimate longings for a partner which you have suppressed/medicated with porn come to the surface and it seems like your only options are: 1) Return to porn or 2) Instant gratification in another form (casual sex, prostitutes etc.). But those aren't the only options. The third option is the hardest but the most rewarding. Be a man. Options 1 and 2 will leave you feeling frustrated and back where you started. I feel like a little boy after I return to porn. I am putting off the growth and settling for a quick release, but actually taking steps backwards rather than forwards. Rather than manning up, resolving my issues and going out there and finding a girlfriend, I am taking a quick escape which will set me back weeks or months and in the end, make the wait for a real woman in my life even longer. I am also 23. I see posts on the forums all the time from guys in their 30s and 40s who have been battling with porn/lust/casual sex for 20 or 30 years! They wish they had changed when they were in their early twenties. Instead, they settled for the easy route out, but prolonged the addiction, frustration and pain.

Stick to the plan. No porn. No prostitutes. The pain is temporary, the joy is lasting. You will come out of this sooner than you think, if you keep going with the plan.

 

[xune22]

This.

I know the temptation is difficult. Once you cut porn out of your life, suddenly all the legitimate longings for a partner which you have suppressed/medicated with porn come to the surface and it seems like your only options are: 1) Return to porn or 2) Instant gratification in another form (casual sex, prostitutes etc.). But those aren't the only options. The third option is the hardest but the most rewarding. Be a man. Options 1 and 2 will leave you feeling frustrated and back where you started. I feel like a little boy after I return to porn. I am putting off the growth and settling for a quick release, but actually taking steps backwards rather than forwards. Rather than manning up, resolving my issues and going out there and finding a girlfriend, I am taking a quick escape which will set me back weeks or months and in the end, make the wait for a real woman in my life even longer. I am also 23. I see posts on the forums all the time from guys in their 30s and 40s who have been battling with porn/lust/casual sex for 20 or 30 years! They wish they had changed when they were in their early twenties. Instead, they settled for the easy route out, but prolonged the addiction, frustration and pain.

Stick to the plan. No porn. No prostitutes. The pain is temporary, the joy is lasting. You will come out of this sooner than you think, if you keep going with the plan.
[/quote]

Hi Fightthefight,

the thing is that there are people who just have a person who they meet to have sex.
They don't have a relationship but sex. What is wrong to pay a woman for that if she has also fun?

Paysex is not black or white. Especially if you book a high class one.
There are also women who like to do it.

 

[fightthefight]

Mate, you know yourself what you are looking for. But it sounds like you want more than just physical interaction with a woman. It seems like you want an emotional connection with her, which you won't get from a prostitute. She will leave afterwards. You will pay her, and she will walk out. Then you will feel empty again. I've read lots of journals where guys go to prostitutes and it screws up their recovery. The urge to look at porn increases rather than decreases.

 

[readytobefree]

Dude, don't do it. This is literally your brain telling you "You need a release ASAP".. guess what, you DON'T!

Your brain is trying to trick you again by justifying it as real sex with a real woman. Dude, it's a prostitute!!

STOP!!

 

[xune22]

I know a lot of people tell me that 23 is still young, but I've been desiring and dreaming
of being intimate with a woman for half my life and lately I've been getting depressed thinking about all the experiences other people had with sex and dating in their teens and early 20s that I missed.

I just want to explore a womans body, but without a relationship at the moment and since the last days I get a boner when I walk on the streets or in bed.

So lately I've been thinking about going to see an escort/prostitute to finally experience what it's like to be intimate with a woman.

 

[Fappy]

Expecting intimacy with a prostitute is like expecting a crow to be white. Itll never happen. If you want to expect anything from a filthy prozzie, expect an STD and an empty wallet

 

[Free]

So, why did you ask if you just accept one answer??
This is a recoverysite. If you dont want to recover, why are you here?

 

[jkkk]

So lately I've been thinking about going to see an escort/prostitute to finally experience what it's like to be intimate with a woman.

Bro, I mean capital letters - read what you wrote, then read it again.

THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN WITH A PROSTITUTE. YOU WILL NOT EXPERIENCE WITH HER "WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE INTIMATE WITH A WOMAN"!!!

You will not! You can experience with her how it is to be with a prostitute, not with a woman.

This is serious stuff, man. I've been writing about it here for a long time - there is in my view no porn addiction, there is SEX addiction whereby most of us start with porn. Spinning it out into escorts is a real real danger, both for your health (STDs), for your money and most importantly for your reboot.

You want to reboot? Man up, fight, keep going. Don't led your addiction RATIONALIZE your thoughts. You cannot negotiate with it, you can only cut it off completely. And read this thread:

http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=1256.0

I keep my fingers crossed for you, bro.

 

[Fappy]

Yeah a prozzie would only fuel her own addiction with your hard earned cash. Let some other poor sap do that. Prostitutes are unclean!

 

[thecatcher4437]

You do know sex and intimacy are two different things, right?

You can pay for sex. You can't really pay for intimacy. That comes over time, because of emotional vulnerability with a person. You won't get that with a prostitute. You need a relationship, one where you can trust your partner.

Plus, sex should be the last thing on your mind. You know porn is not healthy sexuality. Why would you want that to be your first experience, especially when that experience colors the rest of your life? Why not focus on every other aspect of the relationship except sex? And yes, I know how bad the cravings can be, but you've ignored them in the past, right?

Save the money, find someone else, and try to build a relationship. It's hard and it takes time, but it'll be much more worth it than this. Good luck man.

 

[fightthefight]

Why would you want that to be your first experience, especially when that experience colors the rest of your life?

Very true. You will regret allowing a temporary craving to make you go to a prostitute for your first sexual encounter. Once you've had that, you can't undo it and as has been mentioned, it will shape your sexuality too. Potentially it could even cause your porn addiction to escalate into a full blown sex addiction, as you seek out that same high again.

You have a choice. You aren't the only one in this boat mate. You don't need to do this. Today you can choose to be free.

 

[Fappy]

Itll heap even more shame upon shame if your first erotic encounter is with a piece of street filth. Everyone remembers their first time, unless theyre shit faced drunk, do you want to remember a stinking rotton trash slut for the rest of your life?
No