Hi everyone.
I'm a 22 year old student living in northern Europe and this is my journal.
I am starting my journal because I think I have porn induced ED but I am not entirely sure if that's exactly what it is.
Before I go any further I really want make a big shout-out to user "robust" for keeping an awesome journal. It's the only one I've been reading so far. I rarely do this kind of thing, but it inspired me to make my own.
About Me + My Story
I play the guitar both in a band and by myself, when I'm not studying. I am also pretty good at annoying everyone and their dog when I sing - so I don't do that. I started playing when I was 16 and it has grown to become one of my biggest passions since I first felt the steel strings under my fingertips. Besides that, I've always been kind of a nerd which is something that I really like about myself. I like to have wonder and experience what it feels like to be alive
. I like to travel. It doesn't have to be far away. Just enough to make an adventure, discover new places, new things to do. I am generally curious about the world. I also love it when nature screams in my face. To be honest, I like to think that I have a pretty solid social life too. I love the friends that I have, I know they love my company and my family is awesome. I know I can talk to my friends about my problem, but I'm not sure that that's something I want to share with them (, yet..?).
I just got out of a relationship with a girl who I've been with for about 6-7 months. I was, and still is, extremely attracted to her. I was going to lose my virginity to her after we had been dating for about 1 month, but I couldn't because I couldn't get it up. First I thought it was because I was nervous, and that was probably part of the reason - the first time. As time went by I got increasingly comfortable with being with her and I would be able to get a 60-80% erection. I had to finish myself off (with porn) afterwards. I have only been able to ejaculate once out of the many, many, many times we have been treating each other. And that one time took a lot of effort from both her and me. I never went inside her because I was never hard enough for that.
My home was one of the first homes to get broadband internet and I was one of the first kids to get his own PC back in 6th grade. Needless to say I discovered internet porn early, too. Before that I watched it on TV at night and before that I stole my big brothers magazines.
I don't think I have spent a single week without masturbating for a long time.
So where am I now?
So I'm still a virgin. And it annoys me that I can't lose it because my dick's not working. Besides that I'm fine with it.
I never really pursued a relationship or sex before 6-7 months ago. So I don't know for how long I've been malfunctioning. But I can tell you that I can't remember the last time I had morning wood. Assuming that that's a measure for anything, hehe.
The Ultimate Goal is: Get rid of ED. Get experienced. Help others.
I am also genuinely concerned about the severity of my situation. I really hope somebody can help shed some light here.
(current) Rules:
- Masturbation allowed.
- Kissing girls allowed.
- Any fiction/non-IRL stimulation NOT ALLOWED.
What do you think? I am open for anything
First goal: Avoid porn for 20 days + find the best way to approach this afterwards (Complete celibacy vs. not-so-strict. What are your stories?)
Day Count/Week Count:
2nd D - 1st. W
I'm a 22 year old student living in northern Europe and this is my journal.
I am starting my journal because I think I have porn induced ED but I am not entirely sure if that's exactly what it is.
Before I go any further I really want make a big shout-out to user "robust" for keeping an awesome journal. It's the only one I've been reading so far. I rarely do this kind of thing, but it inspired me to make my own.
About Me + My Story
I play the guitar both in a band and by myself, when I'm not studying. I am also pretty good at annoying everyone and their dog when I sing - so I don't do that. I started playing when I was 16 and it has grown to become one of my biggest passions since I first felt the steel strings under my fingertips. Besides that, I've always been kind of a nerd which is something that I really like about myself. I like to have wonder and experience what it feels like to be alive
I just got out of a relationship with a girl who I've been with for about 6-7 months. I was, and still is, extremely attracted to her. I was going to lose my virginity to her after we had been dating for about 1 month, but I couldn't because I couldn't get it up. First I thought it was because I was nervous, and that was probably part of the reason - the first time. As time went by I got increasingly comfortable with being with her and I would be able to get a 60-80% erection. I had to finish myself off (with porn) afterwards. I have only been able to ejaculate once out of the many, many, many times we have been treating each other. And that one time took a lot of effort from both her and me. I never went inside her because I was never hard enough for that.
My home was one of the first homes to get broadband internet and I was one of the first kids to get his own PC back in 6th grade. Needless to say I discovered internet porn early, too. Before that I watched it on TV at night and before that I stole my big brothers magazines.
I don't think I have spent a single week without masturbating for a long time.
So where am I now?
So I'm still a virgin. And it annoys me that I can't lose it because my dick's not working. Besides that I'm fine with it.
I never really pursued a relationship or sex before 6-7 months ago. So I don't know for how long I've been malfunctioning. But I can tell you that I can't remember the last time I had morning wood. Assuming that that's a measure for anything, hehe.
The Ultimate Goal is: Get rid of ED. Get experienced. Help others.
I am also genuinely concerned about the severity of my situation. I really hope somebody can help shed some light here.
(current) Rules:
- Masturbation allowed.
- Kissing girls allowed.
- Any fiction/non-IRL stimulation NOT ALLOWED.
What do you think? I am open for anything
First goal: Avoid porn for 20 days + find the best way to approach this afterwards (Complete celibacy vs. not-so-strict. What are your stories?)
Day Count/Week Count:
2nd D - 1st. W