Free Willy! Dr. D's Journal.

[drd]

Hi everyone.

I'm a 22 year old student living in northern Europe and this is my journal.
I am starting my journal because I think I have porn induced ED but I am not entirely sure if that's exactly what it is.

Before I go any further I really want make a big shout-out to user "robust" for keeping an awesome journal. It's the only one I've been reading so far. I rarely do this kind of thing, but it inspired me to make my own.

About Me + My Story
I play the guitar both in a band and by myself, when I'm not studying. I am also pretty good at annoying everyone and their dog when I sing - so I don't do that. I started playing when I was 16 and it has grown to become one of my biggest passions since I first felt the steel strings under my fingertips. Besides that, I've always been kind of a nerd which is something that I really like about myself. I like to have wonder and experience what it feels like to be alive . I like to travel. It doesn't have to be far away. Just enough to make an adventure, discover new places, new things to do. I am generally curious about the world. I also love it when nature screams in my face. To be honest, I like to think that I have a pretty solid social life too. I love the friends that I have, I know they love my company and my family is awesome. I know I can talk to my friends about my problem, but I'm not sure that that's something I want to share with them (, yet..?).

I just got out of a relationship with a girl who I've been with for about 6-7 months. I was, and still is, extremely attracted to her. I was going to lose my virginity to her after we had been dating for about 1 month, but I couldn't because I couldn't get it up. First I thought it was because I was nervous, and that was probably part of the reason - the first time. As time went by I got increasingly comfortable with being with her and I would be able to get a 60-80% erection. I had to finish myself off (with porn) afterwards. I have only been able to ejaculate once out of the many, many, many times we have been treating each other. And that one time took a lot of effort from both her and me. I never went inside her because I was never hard enough for that.

My home was one of the first homes to get broadband internet and I was one of the first kids to get his own PC back in 6th grade. Needless to say I discovered internet porn early, too. Before that I watched it on TV at night and before that I stole my big brothers magazines.
I don't think I have spent a single week without masturbating for a long time.

So where am I now?
So I'm still a virgin. And it annoys me that I can't lose it because my dick's not working. Besides that I'm fine with it.
I never really pursued a relationship or sex before 6-7 months ago. So I don't know for how long I've been malfunctioning. But I can tell you that I can't remember the last time I had morning wood. Assuming that that's a measure for anything, hehe.

The Ultimate Goal is: Get rid of ED. Get experienced. Help others.
I am also genuinely concerned about the severity of my situation. I really hope somebody can help shed some light here.

(current) Rules:
- Masturbation allowed.
- Kissing girls allowed.
- Any fiction/non-IRL stimulation NOT ALLOWED.

What do you think? I am open for anything

First goal: Avoid porn for 20 days + find the best way to approach this afterwards (Complete celibacy vs. not-so-strict. What are your stories?)


Day Count/Week Count:
2nd D - 1st. W

 

[dwenjang1218]

Welcome!
I started off with no P for the first ~20 days (masturbation allowed)
then stepped up the game to no PMO at all.

Personally, I like the way I approached this reboot, and I wouldn't change it even if I were to start all over.
I find a lot of guys quit due to changing their lifestyles too quickly in a short period of time.
Quitting P first will kinda ease you into this rebooting lifestyle and also prepare you for the real deal.
In those 20 days of no P, I took some time to experiment around and got to know my body better,
studying the sensation of urges, what triggers my urges, what methods to use to stop myself from fantasizing, etc.

Speaking from personal experience, if you choose this "ease in" approach,
then you won't need 8 full weeks of no P.
My dependence on porn vanished in 3 weeks (although I wasn't heavily addicted to begin with).

 

[drd]

2nd Day
I feel very motivated. I've spent a lot of time hanging out just to occupy myself from thinking about it.
I have this mild sensation in the D. I don't really know what to make of it, yet. Another thing is that I also feel motivated to do some exercise - which can't be bad.

I felt temptation yesterday because I couldn't ignore some banner ads on some page somebody had shared on facebook.
I've unsubscribed from a page on facebook that regularly shares pictures of women.

I have to keep myself from thinking about P from time to time. I wouldn't want that to tempt me.
I haven't masturbated either, even though I have allowed myself to do that for the first 20 days. I want to keep that on a minimum.

Today is a positive day: Had a friend visiting, the sun is shining and I'm not craving fast-food.
I actually want to eat real food today. I think I'm gonna cook chinese.

Welcome!
I started off with no P for the first ~20 days (masturbation allowed)
then stepped up the game to no PMO at all.

Personally, I like the way I approached this reboot, and I wouldn't change it even if I were to start all over.
I find a lot of guys quit due to changing their lifestyles too quickly in a short period of time.

Sounds like a good way to do it. I think I'm going to do that too.

Quitting P first will kinda ease you into this rebooting lifestyle and also prepare you for the real deal.
In those 20 days of no P, I took some time to experiment around and got to know my body better,
studying the sensation of urges, what triggers my urges, what methods to use to stop myself from fantasizing, etc.

Speaking from personal experience, if you choose this "ease in" approach,
then you won't need 8 full weeks of no P.
My dependence on porn vanished in 3 weeks (although I wasn't heavily addicted to begin with).

That's great to hear! How long did you go with PMO before you were fully healed?

 

[dwenjang1218]

I'm far from healed yet.
As you can see on my counter,
I've entered the 2nd stage of my "ease in" plan.
it's the 17th day of my no PMO,
and based on the level of porn addiction I have (which is not very high, btw),
I figure I will need about 3 months to fully recover.

However, as I've told you, I don't get porn cravings anymore.
Only masturbation cravings.

 

[fugu]

That's a good sign you aren't getting porn cravings! Avoiding masturbation will help speed this process up immensely for you.

Good luck man!