hello all,
thought I would take the plunge and share my story and see if there is anyone in a similar boat or with advice? I'm 31 will be 32 in Feb, never had a long term proper girlfriend due to long term PIED and depression/anxiety which is more less a result of the ED.
Discovered PMO and MO at around puberty and never looked back since! It was like I was in love and I rushed home every day after school for my fix, ED started to creep in even as young as around 14-15 when I got to doing foreplay with a girl and when she gave me a handjob, I was completely flaccid. Also had a sorta girlfriend briefly at 18 and managed to get it up once or twice, but also had ED once or twice with her but dumped her as the sex I found very boring and just wanted to boast to my friends I had sex with a girl for the first time! Have had ED a number of times with random girls over the years (5-10 attempted one night stands) but always had ED - at the time I blamed it on the alcohol and saying "brewers droop" became the norm.
So last Feb on turning 31 I managed to stop the porn after many attempts and hard work, entered a flatline after 1 month of intense craving and semen leakage etc, and am still more or less flat nearly a year on! after 6 months I started to get nocturnal erections which was very very promising, but then it would disappear again and I would be back to being flat as a pancake. I still get occasional nocturnal erections but it is far from being every night as it should be - also it is generally not 100% erect even when it happens, maybe fluctuating between 50-80% erect. I have also had the worst ever anxiety/depression during this almost 1-year flatline which I am sure isn't helping things, I am on antidepressants but not ones that cause ED (mirtazapine and also pregabalin for the anxiety) although the PIED is also definitely present as I had no nocturnal erections for many years and many ED occurances with zero real desire for the real deal, also I went through the same process as others of gradually worsening ED after years of porn use with desensitization, I am totally asexual most of the time still and it is killing me, I was even going to go for gay sex a few times years ago but couldn't go through with it as I knew I wasn't really gay but didn't know why I didn't really want to have real sex with real people (females) Even considered suicide at times but am now starting runnning (although can only run for like 2 minutes so far lol after years of inactivity) and trying to get healthier to hopefully cure my ED and thus depression and try to find a relationship
Has anyone else been in a similar position and managed to get better? It is hard to know right now if it is still genuine PIED or if my anxiety/depression are the real culprit, or a bit of both! So I am trying to get physically fit in preparation for sex. I do occassionally masturbate now and have had a few brief PMO relapses over the year but now strictly no porn at all now.
Does anyone know how quickly I will get 100% better or if there is anything I can do to speed things up? I am sure my depression doesn't help and the anxiety is an erection killer but also sure PIED has played a role, if only I knew the damage I was doing all those years ago, wish I could invent a time machine lol
thought I would take the plunge and share my story and see if there is anyone in a similar boat or with advice? I'm 31 will be 32 in Feb, never had a long term proper girlfriend due to long term PIED and depression/anxiety which is more less a result of the ED.
Discovered PMO and MO at around puberty and never looked back since! It was like I was in love and I rushed home every day after school for my fix, ED started to creep in even as young as around 14-15 when I got to doing foreplay with a girl and when she gave me a handjob, I was completely flaccid. Also had a sorta girlfriend briefly at 18 and managed to get it up once or twice, but also had ED once or twice with her but dumped her as the sex I found very boring and just wanted to boast to my friends I had sex with a girl for the first time! Have had ED a number of times with random girls over the years (5-10 attempted one night stands) but always had ED - at the time I blamed it on the alcohol and saying "brewers droop" became the norm.
So last Feb on turning 31 I managed to stop the porn after many attempts and hard work, entered a flatline after 1 month of intense craving and semen leakage etc, and am still more or less flat nearly a year on! after 6 months I started to get nocturnal erections which was very very promising, but then it would disappear again and I would be back to being flat as a pancake. I still get occasional nocturnal erections but it is far from being every night as it should be - also it is generally not 100% erect even when it happens, maybe fluctuating between 50-80% erect. I have also had the worst ever anxiety/depression during this almost 1-year flatline which I am sure isn't helping things, I am on antidepressants but not ones that cause ED (mirtazapine and also pregabalin for the anxiety) although the PIED is also definitely present as I had no nocturnal erections for many years and many ED occurances with zero real desire for the real deal, also I went through the same process as others of gradually worsening ED after years of porn use with desensitization, I am totally asexual most of the time still and it is killing me, I was even going to go for gay sex a few times years ago but couldn't go through with it as I knew I wasn't really gay but didn't know why I didn't really want to have real sex with real people (females) Even considered suicide at times but am now starting runnning (although can only run for like 2 minutes so far lol after years of inactivity) and trying to get healthier to hopefully cure my ED and thus depression and try to find a relationship
Has anyone else been in a similar position and managed to get better? It is hard to know right now if it is still genuine PIED or if my anxiety/depression are the real culprit, or a bit of both! So I am trying to get physically fit in preparation for sex. I do occassionally masturbate now and have had a few brief PMO relapses over the year but now strictly no porn at all now.
Does anyone know how quickly I will get 100% better or if there is anything I can do to speed things up? I am sure my depression doesn't help and the anxiety is an erection killer but also sure PIED has played a role, if only I knew the damage I was doing all those years ago, wish I could invent a time machine lol