36 yrs old, been dealing with porn for 20+ yrs

ntg2978

Active Member
Found a very interesting article on the web today; it is from a "hate site", so I removed the hatred from it, so I'm able to post it here, but it has a lot of good pointers in it:

?Self-control is the chief element in self-respect, and self-respect is the chief element in courage.?
-Thucydides, The History of the Peloponnesian War

Pornography is often thought by many in our beleaguered and thoroughly --ish society to be little more than a harmless and amusing recreational activity, something to savor and enjoy, rather than something to despise and avoid.

Yet, in this belief as with so many others in this day and age, the masses have been misled and lied to by the --ish media and ?sex researchers? who seek to keep the white populations of the world in a constant state of confusion and docility, so as to easier manipulate the opinions and tastes of the masses, both political and sexual.

In reality, pornography is one of the most destructive and terrible pieces of weaponry the --s have ever deployed in their efforts to corrode the character and integrity of white nations, and many modern ills can be attributed to it.

A veritable weapon of mass destruction, pornography ? and the excessive amounts of masturbation that necessarily follow in its wake ? have transformed a huge number of us ? upwards of 90% of men by some estimates ? into online perverts and sexual deviants, endlessly searching for the next dopamine high, unconcerned about companionship and morality, and unable to feel the full spectrum of human emotions, easy pickings for the media and its unending flood of lies and degradation.

Your Brain on Porn

Porn addiction is essentially the same as any other type of addiction, utilizing the same structures in the brain, and involving the same patterns of behavior that appear in drug abusers and alcoholics, that is, intense craving for the neurochemical known as dopamine, which in nature acts as the main stimulant which causes one to feel desire, want and need

Brain-on-porn1In most mammals, there is no better source of dopamine than sexual intercourse; this is due to the natural instinct to reproduce, to spread one?s genetic information to the next generation.

However, experiments on rats have shown that after ejaculation, a male rat will need at least 7 days to fully recover his faculties and once again become re-sensitized to dopamine to the same degree that he was before intercourse, and since rats produce semen far faster than humans do, the number of days taken to recover is likely to be far higher than in a rat.

During this recovery period, a male will not find it as pleasurable to engage in intercourse with the same female; he will also find that for several days he has slightly reduced cognitive function due to his expenditure of sexual energy, leaving him in a ?sexual hangover? from the dopamine hit.

The Coolidge Effect and the Road to Hell

There is a way to overcome this however, and that is by introducing a completely new female into the equation, which will have the immediate effect of causing a sharp rise in dopamine production, causing the male to once again want to engage in intercourse and spread his genes. This is known as the Coolidge Effect.

The Coolidge Effect is displayed by many animals during mating season, and despite the fact that the white man (and certain other sub-species of humanity) have evolved to be monogamous, the Coolidge Effect still remains and can influence sexual behavior of the male greatly, by inducing in him a rekindled desire to impregnate the novel female.

It is the Coolidge Effect which can cause addiction to pornography, as the brain cannot subconsciously distinguish between a real woman and a woman on a computer screen, and so perceives the plethora of pornographic videos and images to be rare ?mating opportunities? which it would be foolish to pass up.

Your mind will keep craving more and more until it is truly satisfied, but since dopamine only causes you to experience want and need, you?ll never actually reach the point of satisfaction.  As with heroin addiction, pornography addiction leads simply to endless longing.

With every orgasm that the male experiences within the recovery period, he will go deeper and deeper into the state of sexual exhaustion which will drastically hinder his ability to function in daily life; he will become sluggish and lazy, lacking the ability to concentrate; he will loose a large amount of his motivation and drive to succeed.  His life-force will remain eternally spent, leaving him in a zombie-like state of ?sexual hangover.?
Our sexualized culture has led to an endless desire to fulfill the unfulfillable, leaving a vacuum in our souls.

Our sexualized culture has led to an endless desire to fulfill the unfulfillable, leaving a vacuum in our souls.

Additionally, your emotional health will suffer quite a lot and will have you feeling as though you are an empty shell, desensitization can cause you to be unable to feel many emotions if they are not strong enough to cut through the fog that shrouds the addicts mind and causes him to focus only on self-gratification.

You?ll no longer wish to speak or interact with close friends and family, and can become a semi-recluse who spends half his time avoiding people and the other half masturbating to cyber whores.

It will erode your self-control and impulse-control, partially due to the powerful impulses of the reward circuitry in your brain, but also due to frontal cortex atrophy, which will have the dual-pronged effect of both strengthening the impulsive neural pathways, and eroding the pathways which control rational thought and discipline.

Also, since porn causes large rushes of dopamine to be released by your hypothalamus, your brain will start to reduce the amount of receptor synapses in an effort to curb your growing need, which means that you?ll have to resort to increasingly weird and bizarre forms of sexuality in order to keep the novelty alive, and the dopamine flowing.

You will often find that those who view things like bestiality, necrophilia, transgender pornography, homosexual pornography and child pornography were not initially attracted to these things, but grew desensitized to normal intercourse and so resorted to viewing these horrendous acts in order to fuel their growing addictions.

By this same mechanism, the idea of going out to meet women may become uninteresting to the addict due to the fact that most of them will only perform regular sex acts. You?ll start to judge women based solely on sexual performance and will ignore most other aspects of their personality or attributes they may have, thinking in many ways like your typical American Negro, or even like a --.

Eventually, there will come a point when the addict feels no need for actual sexual contact, all his desires being stimulated by virtual means.
Even if pornography does not transform you into this guy, you will feel as though it has.

Even if pornography does not transform you into this guy, you will feel as though it has.

Interestingly, while an individual woman can seem unexciting, many porn addicts report that the idea of taking things which belong to a woman for the purpose of using it to masturbate later can be intensely exiting ? things like articles of clothing and such. I once met a boy in secondary school who was very much into pornography, and found covertly placing girls schoolbooks into his bag so as to later use them to pleasure himself to be a highly stimulating activity. He was also fond of taking shoes.

It is worth noting here that he seemed quite ashamed with himself, but was unable to control his impulses; when an opportunity arrived, he could not abstain.  This demonstrates how porn habits can bleed over into real life and encourage the proliferation of deviancy and sexual crime.

The -- is Feeding on Your Vital Sexual Energy

Make no mistake: the mass sexualization of society seen in recent years would have been impossible for the --s in the media to enact without the aid of porno --s such as Ron Jeremy, who assisted the media in weakening the moral character of the nation by eroding our self control and willingness to fight back against the tide of perversion.
Porno -- Ron Jeremy engages in a -- ritual inside a liquor store.

Porno -- Ron Jeremy engages in a -- ritual inside a liquor store.

Social anxiety is also a common problem that men who have pornography addiction report. Many say that they find it challenging to go out into parties or get-togethers, and have difficulty talking to people, and making eye contact; speaking in coherent extended sentences will also become more difficult, and some chronic masturbaters may even begin to develop mild stuttering symptoms. Self-esteem and positive self-image will also be decreased; after all, how can you think well of yourself when half of your internet traffic goes to fueling a pathetic and deleterious desire to get yourself off?

You may also, through over-stimulation of the limbic system, experience erectile dysfunction and a decrease overall in enthusiasm and ability to perform sexually with real women.

One thing I?ve noticed about women is that they have a subconscious ability to distinguish between porn addicts and those whose libido is not affected by pornography, which is why when you rid yourself of this compulsion, women will often feel more attracted to you, and will probably approach you far more often than if you had not.

Now, anyone with even an ounce of sense will know that all the effects ascribed above to pornography are extremely harmful to the collective health and conscience of any nation afflicted, and realize that we would do well to shake off this intensely burdening --ish creation, and from there destroy all the other power structures of the --s which hold our nations in thrall.

Nowadays, unlike in ancient times when men felt and behaved like men, masculinity is a rare trait, and is becoming rarer still now that porno addiction has become pandemic. Men often feel as though life is hopeless and depressing and rather than do anything about it, they would rather watch television programs and eat fast food.

The essence of masculinity is the drive to impose your will upon the world, and to do all you can to help your countrymen and racial brothers and sisters to lead better lives, free from the influence of --ish thought.

--Edited out--

No, I imagine the very idea would be abhorrent to them, so how could anyone ever call himself a real national socialist while indulging in these useless and degrading activities?

The answer to that is: you can?t.

Breaking Free

So how exactly does one go about getting rid of an addiction to pornography?

Unfortunately, the reality is that there is no ?miracle cure? or drug that will ease ones compulsions; however, this does not mean that it is impossible to restore the mind almost completely to the way that it was before getting involved in pornography.  Though it will surely take some measure of willpower and grit, do not despair, as many have already completed their ?reboot? (as it is called on support websites), and are now reaping the numerous benefits of freedom from the --ish monster that is adult entertainment.
Remember your ancestors, White Man, and don't be a wanker.

Remember your ancestors, White Man, and don?t be a wanker.

Here are some steps that I think it would be useful to follow in order to quit masturbating and lead a healthier, more fulfilling life:

The first thing you will need to do is find a clear reason for why you wish to quit. For example, do you wish to become more focused in school or work life?  Perhaps become more attractive to women? Maybe you wish to regain lost masculinity, or even cure persistent porn-induced erectile dysfunction?

Whatever your reasons, do be sure to write them down and have them handy, so as to be able to pull them out quickly during moments of weakness and remind yourself of what you?re trying to do and why.

If you have a close friend or family member who can assist you and provide support, you should definitely think about enlisting their aid.

Realize that porn is a --ish abomination, intended to warp your mind into conforming to their standards.  Realize that if you don?t beat it, then you?ll spend the rest of your life living under a shadow, forever feeling that you are dirty and inferior to better, more disciplined men.

Second, if you have a collection of downloaded porn, delete it. You may not watch it, but it will still remind you of watching porn, and as you?ll want as few reminders as possible, it is desirable to get rid of all past associations with it.

You might also want to install some kind of password protected porn blocker software, then configure the password to something you won?t remember, thus dramatically decreasing your opportunities to view pornography.

Third, take up some kind of hobby, perhaps a sport such as tennis or football, or simply a gym routine, as this will both allow you to expend your masculine sexual energy in a useful and productive manner, and will also take you away from home and the computer, which is where you?ll typically start to become tempted.

This is useful because it can be extraordinarily beneficial to the recovering addict to spend as much time as he can away from the computer and the constant lure of masturbation.

One should also remember that although all masturbation is an unnecessary waste of powerful energies, masturbating without pornography is much less harmful than masturbating with pornography.

The forth and last piece of advice I will give you is to understand the stages that a recovering person will go through, so as to be prepared for its trials.

The stages that a typical recovery will entail are as follows:

In the first week or two of abstinence, you will feel your desire for pornography grow and become more insistent; do not give in at this stage; if you do, then you?ll have to start right back at day one.

After this period you?ll eventually get to a point where your desire becomes so great that your brain decides to almost shut down sexually. This is known as ?withdrawal,? because it mirrors the effect that other types of addicts experience with their recoveries.

In this period ? which can last for about four weeks ? your libido will be next to nonexistent, and you will be unable to easily gain erections. Do not be alarmed at this, as it will eventually subside, and you will soon regain normal control of your faculties.

After the period of withdrawal, you may find that the old desires and compulsions are back, albeit weaker. Do not give in and relapse, as if you do, it will make it far more likely that you will relapse again, and again, in which case, you will have to restart your abstinence from the beginning.

Draw strength from those who came before you, remember the acts of your forefathers, remember your duty to your nation and to your race, and understand that while you are in the clutches of the vile addiction, you won?t be able to fulfill them.

After a few days, you will start to notice a slow but very noticeable decrease in your libido and desire for pornography; keep at it and eventually you will start to return to normal, healthy sexuality.

Your old urges and desires will be greatly diminished, and you will experience life in far richer depth and detail then before. You will likely notice improvements in all aspects of life, and will be far happier and more capable a man because of it.

Do not let your guard down, as in today?s sexually charged environment, anything can act as a trigger for your old dependencies. Make sure to maintain all of yourself ? body, mind and soul.

Do this, and you will not only become better National Socialists or better citizens, but better men.

I finish with a quote from one of the greatest White intellects of ancient times:

?The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.? ? Socrates

***

More on this topic can be found at yourbrainonporn.com
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Source: http://www.dailystormer.com/section/jewish-problem/ (NOTE: Very Anti-Semetic, so be warned; I DO NOT condone or endorse any of this shit, just thought it was a really good article minus all the hatred comments)

I feel, after reading this, that I must reset my counter.  I have never PMO'd to porn since I started my reboot, and I've also never MO'd to anything virtual either; but I have engaged in looking at NSFW selfies at times, thinking to myself that it's not porn, so it's not the same thing.  I have never once looked at typical porn since I started at all (as I still find it disgusting based upon what I know about it now), but viewed selfies and the like as being Ok, since it was not part of the whole industry.  This article pointed out something though, and that is that your brain finds all images of women as potential mates, so it gets more excited than it should at viewing sexual images, no matter what kind they are.  I have to remember that this is not solely a sexual addiction as much as it is a rewards center addiction - if you find it pleasurable in any way, and you're using it as a substitute for real life, then it's addictive and needs to be cut out.

I've also noticed that after engaging in this behavior, that a lot of the benefits I had noticed from a reboot (more confidence, more energy, tackling life, viewing women as whole persons, etc.) are not as strong in me anymore.  This could be part of the process, I don't know.  I do not feel I'm addicted to selfies, but I would say I obviously get some enjoyment from looking at naked women, and this has to be messing with my brain somehow.

So, I'm resetting my counter today, realizing that I got tricked by my brain, or maybe had too much stuff going on at once, and fell back into familiar paths of coping, I don't know.

I feel I've learned a trigger though, and will cut out all porn substitutes as well as porn from this day onwards.

My new goal, 5 days of using nothing to run away from life.  I'm a man on a mission now, because I know how freeing it feels to be rid of porn for over 2 months, and how much more alive I have felt.  Time to take back control of life again.

Will keep my promise and donate to Pink Cross Foundation, as soon as I've got some money with which to do it lol  Even though I didn't relapse to porn per se, I do support the foundation, and thus will use this instance as a way of showing that support by donating.

Like I've told a lot of you on here, I'm not focusing on what I've lost from this, but rather on what I now know is possible, and going after it with more dedication and wisdom than I've previously had.  When you learn something from a mistake, the mistake becomes invaluable, because it helps you learn what doesn't work, and you get closer to learning what does.
 
L

Leon

Guest
ntg said:
Like I've told a lot of you on here, I'm not focusing on what I've lost from this, but rather on what I now know is possible, and going after it with more dedication and wisdom than I've previously had.  When you learn something from a mistake, the mistake becomes invaluable, because it helps you learn what doesn't work, and you get closer to learning what does.

What you said, ntg, is so important in recovery. To learn from our faults, falls or mistakes. These are not opportunities to beat ourselves up, or to shame ourselves, but rather to learn from the experience what worked, and what didn't work. It's also opportunity to learn more about ourselves, what led up to this? What is going on that I felt I needed to insulate myself through escapism?

You say you don't know a couple of times in your post- but I would challenge you (as I would challenge myself) to find out why. See if you can identify a single event, or a series of events (over time?) that may have led you back into a groove of former habitual thinking patterns, or learned responses.

This is something that I also must be up on, though not in an obsessive way. But, it's instructive for me to learn my responses to external or internal stimuli, and learn either a better coping technique (such as prayer or meditation), or else to learn how to simply be an outside observer of my life, without being drawn in to the dream, and acting out accordingly.

Be well, you're making an important adjustment.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
So, I'm at 8 days again today.

Changing my approach a little bit, from last time, after reading through my prev. logs on here, and knowing what I know now.

I'm not cutting out online chatting, as it's a release for me, while having my daughter, and I can't really do much, unless we actually can go out and do a fun thing like the park or something, just using it as another way to get interaction, but not letting it get out of hand either, keeping it strictly friends basis and setting time limits for myself, so I'm sure not to run away from life with it.

I'm working out hard still, making some really good gains.  Have approached a few women at the gym, no number closes yet, it's a tough place to get numbers from.

I'm still doing my kegels & jelques; I know a lot of guys on here recommended I not focus on my c*ck, but it helps me to feel I'm ready for action if I meet a girl I do want to get physical with.  I'm not using it as a way of running from anything, but if we're genuinely attracted to each other, it's fair game in my mind.

I feel a lot wiser this time around, knowing my triggers before they occur, and this really helps me stay away from compromising situations.  I've not MO'd at all since the reset day, and I'm trying to keep this going, but it's getting very difficult as my urges are not for porn, but for real women, and I'm having a very difficult time getting out and meeting them as I have my daughter 3.5 days per week now, which falls over the weekends.

I'm going to get into a lot more day game, and may even start taking my daughter out gaming with me (sly smile), women love kids.

I feel really hopeful overall.

My ex and I are talking again; she cancelled the child support order; I have a new job; I have 3 more interviews I'm going to be going on as well, for PT stuff; driving for uber to make some extra cash; I've become a hell of a lot more creative and adaptable from going through all the hard times I've gone through over the past couple of months, and it's made me really strong.

I'm also working through some self-hypnosis stuff, will keep you guys updated on if it helps wth cravings or on conquering sticking points in my life.

Everyone stay strong and carry on.
 

CrazyGopher

Active Member
Hey ntg,

I felt glad when I read that you are on speaking terms with your ex again. I am not sure if it is the same for you, but I find that I really struggle when I have that kind of intense conflict present in my life.

Perhaps your daughter will also be happy that mom and dad are getting along a little bit better. :)

Wishing ya the best,
Goph
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Hey Goph,

Yeah man, it's definitely much easier when you don't have really intense conflicts going on, but unfortunately, you can't depend upon that.  So, what I try to do is to change my focus from those conflicts to my goals instead, and then I can be more comfortable with them.

But yeah, it's really great we're talking again, because we're saving money and time and doing what is best for our daughter.  There are some really hurt emotions on both sides, so it's a really good thing we have the opportunity to be cordial in order to do what is best for our daughter.

Best of luck to you too man.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Day 10

I've been having a very difficult time keeping up with my self-hypnosis stuff & exercising while I have my daughter.  Add to this the fact that I'll be starting a full time job tomorrow, and things are going to change drastically in my life yet again, but it will be a great feeling knowing that I'm working & making money again. 

The self hypnosis stuff is really paying off a lot, have noticed some very positive effects, namely that I feel less internal conflict.  When I say I want to do something, it feels like my whole self is behind it, instead of having to convince myself that I will do it, and motivate myself to take action by using other methods.  Will continue to post here and update.

As far as the reboot goes, been having a lot of sexual cravings as of late, but more than anything else, it's just from wanting to f*ck, which is a little difficult as I have my daughter so much now, so I'm going to try doing some daygame stuff more, and see if I can make some progress that way, while I have her.  Truth be told, daygame with an adorable child is actually harder, not easier, because of the distractions.

Stay strong & carry on.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Day 14:

A few days back, I just felt like throwing in the towel, but I persisted, and it's like something just broke.  My gym workouts are going really good, I'm getting a lot of my old strength & size back, and I'm starting to get in the best shape of my entire life.  My job is going great, I'm being trained as a manager, when I have just a little bit of management experience.  My divorce is looking up, the ex is not pushing for child support any longer, and we've amicably agreed on 50/50 custody.  finances still are shitty, but I'm trying to work a plan to fix them.

I look at where I was just 2 months ago, and wonder how all these things seemed to fix themselves, almost with little to no work or effort on my part; all I did was persisted and remained strong & committed to what I wanted, and refused to give in for anything less, and it is really paying off.

This inner strength I feel in myself is priceless to me; it's like I have no fear really at all.  I mean, I do have fear, but at the same time, if I were to be placed in a situation I'd be afraid of, I know I'd somehow handle it too.  I would not trade this inner conviction of belief in myself for all the money in the world.  I think this is only realized when we are pushed past our limits of what we conceive we are capable of achieving, and all of a sudden, there are no more limits we put on ourselves.

Now, I need to find a way of tapping this strength in my day-to-day life; it's there, and I can use it, but I have to consciously decide to, and I want to make it automatic.  I'll be working on this.

Women are going a little slow, not a lot of time to go out.  I'll be working on this too.
 

CrazyGopher

Active Member
Nice. It inspires me to see how you persisted, did what you had to do, and fixed the things in your life that needed fixing. 8) I want to learn to do that in my own life.

Congrats, and I hope the finances/women situations improve soon.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
To be honest with ya man, I think we never feel ready or prepared to handle life....I know I don't.  Stuff just gets thrown at me, and I give myself no other options but to find a way to make it all work, and then I just start.  A lot of the time, I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing and sometimes even ask myself, "look what you're into, you're way over your head" - but then I remember that in the gym, my muscles don't grow unless I put something on them that is MORE than they can handle presently, and then they adapt to that increased resistance, and are able to handle that and more.

We're the same way; growth hurts, growth is painful; growth is uncertain; growth is risky - but it's the only way to get better.  Become better at calming yourself down when you feel you're past what you can handle is my advice.  This is what I've worked on and it's worked wonders for me.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Day 19 already, where does the time go??

Things are going well, divorce & custody are nearly finalized, my training as a manager is going great, really like the guy and the employees I've been paired with, making some friends, and working on improving myself.

Time with my daughter is really becoming more & more important as she gets older, I am so happy I made the decision to stay here and find a way to make it work so that I could have 1/2 custody of her.

Life is super busy; working 48+ hrs per week for management training, have my daughter for 3.5 days per week, covering shifts for others at work when needed, studying for owning my own store, working on my business a little bit at a time still as well.

Goals for me are: be a great dad to my daughter - teach her how to be prepared for life and show her I love her & accept her unconditionally; be the best management trainee around (so far I'm living up to this); continue to workout 4 times per week; kegels & pe exercises also 4 times per week, start dating again (it's been a year since the separation originally; been single for a year now, and I feel it's time); Continue to work on my issues using self-hypnosis.

Goals I've reached so far: Curling 65 lbs roughly now, only 25 more to go to be back to where I was years ago; Running for 2 miles straight now, splitting it up between uphills, faster jogs, and slower jogs; I have 50% custody of my daughter; I have a job with a real future in it; feel I've increased the quality of my life using self hypnosis for a while now - going to start with concrete objectives starting tonight.

Overall, great progress I'd say.  My finances are still in disarray, but a few paychecks will help put them into perspective.
 

marsturm

Active Member
Hey ntg, It's great to hear you're on track. Loving yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself and your daughter. I'm with you all the way, cheering you on. Have a wonderful day!
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Day 28

Thanks CG, I have been doing really well.  Been working out about 4-5 times per week, really working on getting my finances back under control, and have begun socializing again.  The self hypnosis stuff really works well, I notice myself making changes automatically at this point, and feel totally different about things as compared to previous experiences.  Stay strong man, remember that you don't have to stay away from PMO for any certain number of days, but just for this moment.

**POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING FOR BELOW

Work is going really well, I'm being trained in management and it's a real mind shift, but something I'm more than capable of handling and which I think I'll be very good at.  Being busy is really helping me keep my mind off PMO and MO in general, although I do have a routine where I'll do kegels every day, then some jelquing, then some masturbation (without ejaculating) just to gain more control over my ejaculations, so that I can last longer.  Not doing this for women, but because it's something that I want to have, the ability to be a better partner; I'm all about self improvement and to me, this is just another expression of that.

I've found a way to do these things and not have urges for PMO, so this is fantastic to me.

All other things are going well.  Had a meeting with the lawyer today, and the divorce, custody, post-nup, etc. are nearly finalized and done with.  Will be so nice not having to deal with this shit any longer.
 

ntg2978

Active Member
Well guys, I feel it's time for me to move on from this forum.  I have absolutely no desire to watch porn any longer, it's not even a temptation.  I experience rock hard erections whenever a woman so much as looks at me in a seductive way, not to mention when we touch, I'm taking control of my life, becoming a lot more demanding of others to be honest with me, and not bullshit around. In short, I have made the transition from being a passive victim to an active creator of my own life.

I still have areas that I want to work on, and am working on them, I don't think this ever really stops for us, or at least it shouldn't.  I don't really identify with half of what I read on here anymore, so I know it's time to move on, and let fellow rebooters help each other out, as I and others did when we were first starting out.

I would like to leave a few tips, kind of like a last gift to anyone who might read this thread in the future:

1. Realize that porn is 99% of the time a symptom and not a cause; meaning that if you're addicted to porn, it's probably because you're using it to replace something that you're not dealing with consciously or unconsciously.  During your reboot this WILL surface, so prepare yourself for some emotional roller coasters.

2.  The best cure for PMO, PIED, etc is to forget about them by doing something else.  Come on here and post your successes, ask questions, help others out who are also in the process, but don't make this process your life - this is a means to an end, not the end itself.  Make life the end goal, get some real tangible life goals and start chasing them.

3.  Post on other peoples' journals, not just your own.  This is a big one; if you want support from others, give it first.  Others will reciprocate, but you have to make the first move.

4.  Learn to distinguish between masturbation while picturing porn images and/or PMO with masturbation that is done because you are just plain horny.  The first type is the kind that will make you relapse over and over again, because you're feeding that dopamine pathway; the second type, although not ideal, will not cause you to relapse to porn.  Remember, the culprit is porn, not masturbation, otherwise you would be saying essentially that you want this process to make you celibate.  If you are open to being with a partner and having sexual relations, then it's ok (in my opinion) to do this on your own if you don't have a partner and are not using it as a means to run away from something or to feel better about something.

5.  Work on becoming more physically active; the more you stay away from porn, you'll notice a huge jump in your energy; it's not just because you're not looking at porn and wasting your day, it's something more...I don't know what it is, but you will suddenly find yourself with a lot more energy and life force inside of you, and you're going to need a way to safely use it constructively.

6.  Embrace the point where you begin to see the opposite sex as whole, and not just porn stars in real life kind of thing.  This switch really was profound for me, and I found myself desiring relationships, and not just sex any longer. 

7.  Avoid the traps your mind will play on you, such as just looking at porn for education purposes, or looking at porn substitutes, because it's not really porn....a good rule of thumb is this:  if it excites you, and it involves another person, and that other person is not there with you, then it needs to go, because this is a dopamine addiction, not simply a porn addiction, so whatever you get pleasure from and it's virtual, it will screw up your ability to partake in that activity in real life as a result, because you'll be wired for virtuality, not physicality.

8.  Don't quit one addiction, just to pick up another one; don't stay away from PMO by playing video games endlessly or watching tv all the time to qwell the desires; face what is coming up to the surface - that's the only way you will get rid of it.  Anytime you use ANYTHING to make life easier than just dealing with things, you're putting that thing in the seat of an addiction in your life, so be careful and check your motives.

Best of luck to everyone here.  I made a lot of good friends here, and made some enemies too, but it's all good, we're just all doing the best we know how to do, and I have no hard feelings towards anyone, and wish you all the best.

ntg.
 

marsturm

Active Member
Hello ntg, Thanks for your final post and everything you've given me: Love, support, encouragement, guidance, and wisdom. Thank you for that. I wish you much love and hope to meet you some day, wherever that may be. Stay strong, brother. I'm gonna miss you. Have a wonderful life!
 
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