Trying to get free (3 relapses but getting stronger and more wise)
- Thread starter Yuri
- Start date
ntg said:
I think this worked today. This day was hard. Friday - end of a hard week. Hard for its routine and psychological load at wark. I miss weekend so much. I will physically prostrate myself tomorrow and get some fresh air in my lungs and head. Today some urges appeared and I triggered something. It took a lot of effort to put it down and to refuse it completely. I feel much better now in the evening. I dont want to loose my progress so much.
What helped me a lot was - i really felt like taking pressure (energy) from my genitals upwards to my head and even to my stomach. I felt something that is hard to describe in both head and then stomach. And what is more interesting i did calm down afterwards. Less pressure after and i could refuse my urges. I will keep practising it!!
Yuri said:Just took my first cold shower!!!
It was like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
But now i feel SO GOOD! Damn it was worth it!
I cant do those for more than 10-20 sec. My body shuts down!
It does feel great afterwards though, great for the mood as I always exit the bath laughing.
Fappy said:
My worst enemy is fantasy. It seems a lot easier not to watch porn but mind was full of wicked desires.
Anyway... this moorning i wake up again with clear head. Nice morning wood and still a clear head. I didnt even hurry to stay up as my mind didnt start to wonder in a world of desires. Very nice!!!
I just did joga for lower back. Feeling great. Have to do some weekend's shopping now. And then im looking forward for some physical activities. Maybe i will even do some meditation at the moment.
Hi friends. I want to share what's new. Would be glad to hear some comments and/or advice.
So i felt great. No remarkable cravings. I spent another night with my woman. What i didntt write earlier - it is very hard for me to sleep with her as deep inside i really want her and i get sexually aroused but still im not hard enough to please us both. It feels like having a flame inside but not beeing able to let it out. Yet another night she goes to sleep but i can't. My body temperature rises, its uncomfortably hot,I feel aroused and uncomfortable. Later as i try to sleep my mind starts wondering and cravings appear. Appear out from some deep places of my mind. Nothing to strong or something i cant whitstand but still. Damn... i feel bad about it because my woman gets uncomfortable too. She didnt sleep also as i did shuffle in bed all night.
My mind tells me and i am sure that i just need more time. It is just three weeks this month and still i feel a lot of progress and i am very happy about it.
What i bother about is nights spent with her. I hope a lot that it benefits me as i get REAL feelings from hugs and kisses. And i hope that it makes my flame to find the correct way out.
It is evening now. Day after. Im sleepy. No cravings. I feel tired and will go to sleep very soon.
So i felt great. No remarkable cravings. I spent another night with my woman. What i didntt write earlier - it is very hard for me to sleep with her as deep inside i really want her and i get sexually aroused but still im not hard enough to please us both. It feels like having a flame inside but not beeing able to let it out. Yet another night she goes to sleep but i can't. My body temperature rises, its uncomfortably hot,I feel aroused and uncomfortable. Later as i try to sleep my mind starts wondering and cravings appear. Appear out from some deep places of my mind. Nothing to strong or something i cant whitstand but still. Damn... i feel bad about it because my woman gets uncomfortable too. She didnt sleep also as i did shuffle in bed all night.
My mind tells me and i am sure that i just need more time. It is just three weeks this month and still i feel a lot of progress and i am very happy about it.
What i bother about is nights spent with her. I hope a lot that it benefits me as i get REAL feelings from hugs and kisses. And i hope that it makes my flame to find the correct way out.
It is evening now. Day after. Im sleepy. No cravings. I feel tired and will go to sleep very soon.
ntg2978
Active Member
I remember reading something where Gabe put on here that he thought just spending time with his girl (cuddling, hugging, kissing, making out) really helped to speed up his recovery, because it fired off new connections in his brain for pleasure. I think you should take a different approach here...instead of focusing on getting hard to be able to have sex with your girl, focus on becoming more intimate with her. See this as your time to learn how to make her feel loved and wanted, just by the way you hold her. I don't think she's going to mind this a bit stay strong bro. Keep at it, you're doing great!
stay strong bro. Keep at it, you're doing great!ntg said:I remember reading something where Gabe put on here that he thought just spending time with his girl (cuddling, hugging, kissing, making out) really helped to speed up his recovery, because it fired off new connections in his brain for pleasure. I think you should take a different approach here...instead of focusing on getting hard to be able to have sex with your girl, focus on becoming more intimate with her. See this as your time to learn how to make her feel loved and wanted, just by the way you hold her. I don't think she's going to mind this a bit
Ha ha . Thanks friend. It is not like im just thinking about sex with her
. I really love her and i enjoy all the time that i spend with her . We have a lot of hugs and cuddling and kissing and it feels wonderfull. It takes all the negative feelings away from me.I had my cold shower yesterday and today too. Made me feel a lot better as i was frustrated yesterday. I did also have a winter run in the woods recently today.
This moorning i had strong wood and i was thinking about real woman. I feel like i have disconnected myself from that sexual matrix. I dont want it any more. Porn is worse than cheap prostitute and i dont want to return to it. Something still appears if i feel depressed or when i get very horny but i feel it weakens too. Cold shower took away any depression . And i dont allow much bad thoughts. I think positive.
I started doing kegel excersizes recently. I hope it helps. I got some semen leakage after urinating. I hope it is normal. Will read about it.
This moorning i had strong wood and i was thinking about real woman. I feel like i have disconnected myself from that sexual matrix. I dont want it any more. Porn is worse than cheap prostitute and i dont want to return to it. Something still appears if i feel depressed or when i get very horny but i feel it weakens too. Cold shower took away any depression
. And i dont allow much bad thoughts. I think positive. I started doing kegel excersizes recently. I hope it helps. I got some semen leakage after urinating. I hope it is normal. Will read about it.
ntg2978
Active Member
Let me know your experience with kegels; I was doing a lot of these before I started the reboot process, but have not done any since I started, because they tended to make me very aroused, and I felt this would be a trigger of sorts. Seems you're doing good man! Keep going.
Yuri said:
I find that the kegels have helped but its easy to overdo them which should be avoided. I also find the reverse kegels quite difficult to do, especially if we are not supposed to tighten our abs at the same time as that is basically how I activate those muscles.
Yesterday was an interesting one. Got a slight depression. I was dissatisfied and tired. As always i got some urges because of that as i was weak at the moment. BUT it was the second already that i said myself "F*ck you depression- everything is alright. There is no need for me to feel bad". I felt a lot better as i got home. Later i talked to my girl and felt even better. And then i took a cold shower and felt even MORE better. No sign of depression anymore. I went to sleep happy. And do You know what happened? I had bright dreams and even erotical... no! sexual dream by the morning!! First time since i was a child?? WOW. And today i felt like i am more into real women. Not as strong as i would like to but still. I feel that something changes in my head but i have to let it grow!!!
Overtension of pelvic floor fading away. Not doing kegels any more. Doing some reverse kegels instead and pelvic floor stretches from different yoga poses.
I get stronger erection when just thinkig about my woman. It really turned me on today remembering her in lingerie and thinking about how i want her. Almost no more unrealistic fantasies any more.
I get stronger erection when just thinkig about my woman. It really turned me on today remembering her in lingerie and thinking about how i want her. Almost no more unrealistic fantasies any more.