My story is similar to many others. I got a very late start with P. I had a girlfriend in high school, but was never sexually active with her. When I found someone to be in a relationship with in college, it was great at first. We had a good sexual relationship. After a pregnancy scare, I wanted to give up sex altogether. However, that did not stop me from occasional porn use. I wasn't quite addicted yet, it just filled in the gap. While there were other things (both her issues and mine) that were causing a strain on the relationship, I think porn killed it. Porn was filling my sexual needs while hers went unmet. She fell in love with someone else and married him.
I took some time off from women after that painful breakup. I went on some dates and met some really terrific women, but never got into anything serious. I kept making excuses as to why I did not want to be in a relationship. I wanted to get a Master's degree, get a better job, live in a better house, etc...
At this point I re-discovered porn. In my mind, it was okay. I figured it would go away as soon as I was in a 'real' relationship. In the meantime, I got lonelier and lonelier.
Last year, I was involved in a sports tournament, and feeling both exhausted and accomplished I wanted to 'celebrate'. I think the tourney exhausted my system and porn torpedoed it. Immediately after, I started having sexual troubles. Thinking I had done something physical to myself, I made appointments with doctors. I also gave up sports (fearing making it worse and/or needing to heal). The doctors found nothing. Fighting depression and anxiety, I went to an acupuncturist. For six weeks, I gave up all sex and had weekly appointments. It worked for a while. I felt better and 'celebrated again', this time without porn. Again, the sexual troubles came back. I found YBOP, and I finally gave up porn (and still have no interest in it). From YBOP I discovered this forum and nofap.com. After reading a lot, I have determined that I have PIED and sexual exhaustion. I went to a naturopath and got some herbs and decided to reboot. I made it to 45 days before I relapsed. While I didn't do porn, I did MO. And again, PIED has returned. I am starting a counter, and I hope to make it to 90 days this time. I am hoping this journal will keep me honest and help me get over the 45 day hump
This forum has given me hope, and I hope my post encourages someone else.
P-free -- 90 days
MO-free -- 3 days
I took some time off from women after that painful breakup. I went on some dates and met some really terrific women, but never got into anything serious. I kept making excuses as to why I did not want to be in a relationship. I wanted to get a Master's degree, get a better job, live in a better house, etc...
At this point I re-discovered porn. In my mind, it was okay. I figured it would go away as soon as I was in a 'real' relationship. In the meantime, I got lonelier and lonelier.
Last year, I was involved in a sports tournament, and feeling both exhausted and accomplished I wanted to 'celebrate'. I think the tourney exhausted my system and porn torpedoed it. Immediately after, I started having sexual troubles. Thinking I had done something physical to myself, I made appointments with doctors. I also gave up sports (fearing making it worse and/or needing to heal). The doctors found nothing. Fighting depression and anxiety, I went to an acupuncturist. For six weeks, I gave up all sex and had weekly appointments. It worked for a while. I felt better and 'celebrated again', this time without porn. Again, the sexual troubles came back. I found YBOP, and I finally gave up porn (and still have no interest in it). From YBOP I discovered this forum and nofap.com. After reading a lot, I have determined that I have PIED and sexual exhaustion. I went to a naturopath and got some herbs and decided to reboot. I made it to 45 days before I relapsed. While I didn't do porn, I did MO. And again, PIED has returned. I am starting a counter, and I hope to make it to 90 days this time. I am hoping this journal will keep me honest and help me get over the 45 day hump
This forum has given me hope, and I hope my post encourages someone else.
P-free -- 90 days
MO-free -- 3 days