It has been awhile sense I was able to post a journal update, so here it goes. Looking at my counter it says I am almost 50% there yay! I have been doing good, no real strong desires to PMO.
There have been several opportunities to drift off and surf while wife was busy and I avoided the temptation. If I was getting bored and start feeling the urge I would get up and see what she was up to. That helps to get my mind of it.
I was home alone for 3 hours last Sunday and no PMO. I thought about it several times leading up to the time I was going to be alone. In the past this would have been prime time. It was a little hard at first. In the past when my wife would leave I would instantly start to pull up my favorite sites and get an immediate rush. The was a pretty strong push as soon as she left, so I had to distract myself. I got out paper and started to doodle. I drew for about 45 minutes and that helped. Even after drawing I barely thought about it, it I think is good.
Still flatline mostly I think about intimate things my wife but have no real desire to act yet. When I was able to a while back we were out of town. In a different environment it was easier, which it always has been in the past. Vacations and away from work and real life always made things work better down there.
I am glad to be ridding myself of this vile practice and just need to remind myself that it is VILE.
I am better than porn and deserve better. Stay strong everyone!