Dating with PIED...

[Pr3c1se]

I've been off porn for almost a month now.  I'm just keeping myself busy, reading books, getting out of my house as much as possible.  I've starting getting boners once in a while in the morning, or when I see a pretty girl.  It's nice!  I have zero interest in porn, as girls are SO much better =)

Issue I'm having now.....I've started dating this girl and everythings going well.  We're getting to the point where we should be having sex.  I keep dodging it though because I'm worried what might happen.  Any suggestions what to do?  I feel like this could potentially mess things up.

Is it common for 25 year olders to go to the doctors to get Viagra?  Should I take this route, or would it impede recovery?  I'm guessing part of this is mental and I'm psyching myself out... Just wondering what others have done in this situation.  Thank you!

 

[Gambit123]

Im new here too but I can tell you that viagra and cialis are only temp fixes and from my understanding it may not work for some guys w pied. I have been using cialis for 7 years and maintained relationships and an ok sex life. However I could never o. De is a symltom of pied.

Anyways, I am like you. A month in hard mode. Based on what I have read you should avoid o for at least three months so if you have sex and o it could delay your reboot. Also take it from me it stinks being dependent on ed drugs. However, if she is smokin hot maybe its worth poppin a pill.to have sex. Just keep in mind though it will delay uour reboot.

 

[Pr3c1se]

Yeah I know it's not a fix at all and certainly not anything I'm interested in relying on.  But I'm saying for dating this girl. 

I wonder if anyone has had this experience before, and what they've done?  (Dating a new girl, and getting to this point).

 

[OSS]

If I was in your position this is what I would do...

Try postpone it as long as you can without her getting worried (what if he doesn't want to have sex with me etc) and in the mean time spend as MUCH time as you can with her as possible, the more hugging and kissing the better. When it comes time don't fret just go in without expectation of it working or failing.. If it does fail you could tell her it's something to do with a prescription or something and that it will be back to normal within a few months. Also at this point or a couple of attempts later go to the doctor and ask for some viagra, DO NOT rely on it just use as little as necessary and as your libido and confidence begins to build up begin to taper off. I can't imagine it impeding recovery but there's definitely potential for a false sense of recovery, but at the same time it could be a good tool, it's all about how you use it.

As for that little lie about prescription pills causing ED, I'm not going to sit here and argue with anyone about moral objections it's just an option that could pay off to be the greater good in the long run.

Besides all this I would.. If you're already not, abstain from masturbation as I'm sure you're aware it will very likely slow recovery. And perhaps even avoid orgasm with your partner depending on how it effects you, you can still have sex etc just stop early. Also I would recommend you start doing some meditation to help ease the anxiety associated with trying to have sex and PIED. Goodluck

 

[Chaos Mind]

I'd like to emphasize OSS' post there. There might be a point where she gets worried and as women often do, she might take it as criticism to her beauty if you don't want to sleep with her. But with a little empathy you will know when that point is reached. If you can't avoid it, I'd stick to half truth. Tell her you have problems with sex and you don't want to be specific. It is getting better and she helps you speed up the process.

If you sleep together and you getting a little hard then I suggest you fake an orgasm (if you use condoms that is), so you can edge.

 

[Phase2]

I'm on day 20 and have some of this issue going on...I decided to announce to the 'world' (my friends) that my New Year's Resolution was 2 months of abstaining from sex. Period. It was a relief instantly because it allowed me to date or not date but since I had this new rule I didn't have to explain myself or try to negotiate how I was going to have PIED sex. I have a safe period of two months to work on my self. Hopefully, in that time off, some of PIED my issues will work out. I guess you can explain the two months however you want: say you were feeling too slutty before or just want a challenge of austerity or you are 'building your chi' or 'just wanted to see if I could do it.' Go for three months off if you want. Honestly, if the girl or guy dumps you because of that, then good riddance.

I also thinks this allows cuddling and stuff which helps rewire without going down the sex path when you are not ready. Might work for you....

Good luck!

 

[Chaos Mind]

Phase 2, the idea is good, but be careful not to put too much pressure on yourself. There is no clock ticking and there should be no calender in which you mark the day you aim for your total recovery. You have more than enough time and you might as well consider now the possibility that it takes way longer than two months. 

 

[Phase2]

I hear you. I'm assuming it will take me a full year, but just felt good about giving myself a solid two months out of the 'game' to get my bearings. Thanks for advice!

 

[Pr3c1se]

Yeah that's not a bad new years resolution at all.

I'm trying my best to take a step back.  I feel like nobody "takes it slow" anymore.  Maybe this is porns fault, or just society in general.

And oops, I MO'd last night.  I couldn't stop thinking of this girl I'm dating, so I figured that was a good thing and I just let it happen. =)

 

[Chaos Mind]

Phase 2: Yeah, totally, that sounds like a good plan after all

Pr3c1se: May or may not be porns fault. I've always been someone who was fast to end up in bed with women, also (or maybe: mostly) those I really liked. Love is a full package. It is laughing together, having arguments, forgiving each other and also sleeping together. But everybody thinks about that differently. If a girl tells me she'd like to wait, I'd accept it. And if you tell a girl you'd like to wait, she'll accept that too.

If appreciating real life girls had been impossible for you during the addiction, then I'd say MO'ing while thinking about her is totally alright. I can only imagine how overwhelming it must feel to rewire to the women in your environment

 

[Pr3c1se]

Chaos:  Yes, while watching P, I'd fantasize about P, or I'd be actually watching P... 100% of the time I MO'd.  I never realized this was even an issue until I attempted to force myself to fantasize bout real girls instead of P.  It's so crazy because I always thought I was MO'ing to girls, but I can see/understand the disconnect now.  I was MO'ing to pictures of what P shaped in my head of what being intimate was.