Porn Masturbation but no orgasm does that affect my rebooting??

[Ricky]

After 15-16 days of no PMO I was somehow drifted back to the old ways of compulsive behaviour like telling myself that I am only gonna watch it but won't touch my penis then I would touch and say to myself that I wouldn't orgasm!i ended up doing only PM but didn't orgasm
So now I am somehow managing to abstain from PMO since 3days and no orgasm for 20 days .
Would that sort of behavior affect my reboot??

 

[tkn0]

I did this during my first 30 days a few times, watched images or fantasized but did not orgasm.
This behavior builds up dopamine in your body, and starts cravings for completion. So I ended up jerking off to orgasm 3 times after 30 days.
This behavior is not recommended, because it rewires your brain back to its porn state of mind. Which is what you are trying to get away from.
I know the feeling of not being able to release, I have yet to find any quick fix for cravings. I work all day and then workout, so I am pretty much done for at the end of the day.
When I am not working, I try to do something creative or watch inspiring or relaxing videos on Youtube. It soothes the cravings after a while.

Good luck mate.

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ Ricky

i ended up doing only PM but didn't orgasm....Would that sort of behavior affect my reboot??

Yes, it will definitely affect your reboot. We call masturbating to porn while staying away from orgasm "edging." This can be worse than actually PM and O. Porn addiction is really about what goes on before you orgasm. The seeking, searching, novelty, hunt for the perfect scene, all keep dopamine levels high for extended periods of time and will reinforce addiction pathways in your brain.

Basically if you are becoming aroused with porn, you are wiring your arousal to porn, and not a real person.

A reboot is a rest from artificial sexual stimulation, so to reboot you should avoid porn and porn fantasy. Stay away from edging. The addiction is to porn, not to orgasm or masturbation. We know this because most guys with PIED cannot masturbate or orgasm without porn.

Hope that helps

 

[DeltaFosAware]

Ricky that is a very good point! The addiction is to PORN, not masturbation! It takes a while to realise this but it's the porn that's screwed with your dopamine and reward circuits. As you say the thrill of the search, the novelty of  unmet out scenes and the hyper-stimulation of the frontal cortex are the real culprits here...Masturbating is simply the outcome of the visual fantasy fest!

I think it was in a Ted Talk where the guy shows the experiment they had done with Rams. Apparently your average Ram won't really knock himself out for sex. Yeah, he'll perform but equally he'll eat, sleep, socialise, fight off other males. Doing all the typical Alpha male stuff to ensure his genes are nicely spread around.

However, present the same 'stud' with limitless females and he pretty much shags everything in site! The evolutionary reason is clear, he's literally 'making hay while the sun shines.' The mass opportunity is just too good to turn down! He's genetically preprogrammed to take advantage of this glut of females. Why shouldn't he be? If he didn't how many sheep do you think we'd naturally have?

So of course, considering that we males have the limbic system in the brain wired in the same way, present us with tab after tab after tab after tab, of erotic images, we too will want to copulate with them all and, as they are not there, our right hand serves the same purpose. It's interesting to note that it doesn't matter to our brain that these are just pixels or images. The same images could be created by words on a page or even during something like 'phone sex' (reminds me of a great sketch on Goodness Gracious Me once) but our brain reads them as 'real' and we respond in the same way as good old Johnny Ram!

We've chosen to buy into something that we know is a con. We see real people in the shots but we soon objectify them and somehow clear them of their humanity. We might say, well they are being paid for what they do, but the reality is than as we objectify these women, so we objectify ourselves.
Now you can argue that such is our right in a so called 'free society' but are we as free as we think we are when we are tugging the old skin flute there....? Who's getting the pay per clicks on our hits? What are they doing with the money that simply sloshes around through porn? How also are we desensitising our selves as normal human beings? All stuff I have thought about in both staying on and falling off our fantasy sex wagon!

 

[mccrayj]

Ricky that is a very good point! The addiction is to PORN, not masturbation! It takes a while to realise this but it's the porn that's screwed with your dopamine and reward circuits. As you say the thrill of the search, the novelty of  unmet out scenes and the hyper-stimulation of the frontal cortex are the real culprits here...Masturbating is simply the outcome of the visual fantasy fest!

I think it was in a Ted Talk where the guy shows the experiment they had done with Rams. Apparently your average Ram won't really knock himself out for sex. Yeah, he'll perform but equally he'll eat, sleep, socialise, fight off other males. Doing all the typical Alpha male stuff to ensure his genes are nicely spread around.

However, present the same 'stud' with limitless females and he pretty much shags everything in site! The evolutionary reason is clear, he's literally 'making hay while the sun shines.' The mass opportunity is just too good to turn down! He's genetically preprogrammed to take advantage of this glut of females. Why shouldn't he be? If he didn't how many sheep do you think we'd naturally have?

So of course, considering that we males have the limbic system in the brain wired in the same way, present us with tab after tab after tab after tab, of erotic images, we too will want to copulate with them all and, as they are not there, our right hand serves the same purpose. It's interesting to note that it doesn't matter to our brain that these are just pixels or images. The same images could be created by words on a page or even during something like 'phone sex' (reminds me of a great sketch on Goodness Gracious Me once) but our brain reads them as 'real' and we respond in the same way as good old Johnny Ram!

We've chosen to buy into something that we know is a con. We see real people in the shots but we soon objectify them and somehow clear them of their humanity. We might say, well they are being paid for what they do, but the reality is than as we objectify these women, so we objectify ourselves.
Now you can argue that such is our right in a so called 'free society' but are we as free as we think we are when we are tugging the old skin flute there....? Who's getting the pay per clicks on our hits? What are they doing with the money that simply sloshes around through porn? How also are we desensitising our selves as normal human beings? All stuff I have thought about in both staying on and falling off our fantasy sex wagon!

Thank for the clarification.

I do have a question though. Is it still a win for Will power when you deny those cravings? I had 2 "edgings" this week where I started to PMO, I went to a porn site and was ready to fap when I forced myself away. I can almost feel the tug of war in my brain but I closed browser reset internet history (to avoid activating triggers) and closed my laptop and left the room.

Btw I took your suggestion and moved my computer to a public place e.g. living room.

 

[DeltaFosAware]

Glad you've gone somewhere public with your computer. In an odd kind if way this helps to take away this feeling that PMO time is your own special time, in your own special place...Just like meeting up with your very own 'Mary Jane Rotten Crotch' as Sgt Hartman describes her in Full Metal Jacket!

Edging is certainly fun! I have done it as well but we both know, I'm sure, it will lead to fapping, which will lead to guilt, why will need to less input from the already deadened frontal cortex, which will require more PMO, possibly even harder PMO and us hamsters are back on our wheel all over again!

However, the ride, although always running, will offer us chances to get off. Walk around the rest of the theme park, smell the roses, toss a few hoops, win a few prizes! God, why just stay on the roller coaster all day? I mean coasters are good but try OTHER highs as well! Of course the longer we stay off the ride, the more it becomes our CHOICE when we rejoin again! Just imagine the prospect of looking at that towering coaster, that total pinnacle of a high, our almost drug induced ecstasy, our Mother of all tissue requiring ejaculations and being able to say 'I quite fancy the roundabout today!' See ya!

Personally, I'm NOT a cold showers man. Strikes me too much as aversion therapy! Like having a rubber band in your wrist and pinging yourself when you get 'lewd thoughts.' First of all it hurts but the body can very easily turn pain to pleasure! Why do you think all those monks loved those hair shirts? No, I'd say get addicted to something else on the Internet. Since decades of Fap and PMO I've joined everything from Church Forums to political debating sites! I spend hours in these things, rather than somehow 'curing the addiction' they just displace it...Like walking,driving, gardening, football, or even stamp collecting!! Life is FULL OF VARIETY, PMO is fun, it certainly fills time, it mainly totally free but think of the other stuff you must be missing!

Frankly, we'll never be cured of this addiction. A smoker is always an ex-smoker, an alcoholic is always on the wagon! If you think about it, curing us of the addiction would mean removing most of our limbic system and simply cutting out our libido with drugs! Would we want that to happen? Imagine no stirrings in the boxers for ever! Not something I'd want at all...Take care and keep up the good work.

 

[stangles]

Don't do edging if you can help it. Having said that although the end result is the same as pmo I have found that the more time goes by without orgasm the less I do edging. So although I could have simply reset my counter every time I edged I think that had I done that I would have given into the hopelessness of the situation and simply just pmo'd. I think in the willpower battle edging is better as at least you get used to denying something and hopefully like me you start to edge less and less as your counter ticks higher.

 

[heroack]

It's crazy because i also use to edge and i thought i ess the only one who did that. I seen people talk about edging inhere but i didn't know what it meant until now because i do use to watch porn masturbate but didn't orgasm. Thanks for the classification.  I thought if i just edged my problems will be dsolve because i thought the orgasm was the problem of my addiction but now i see its do much more. Thanks delta that really saved me some rrelapses haha.

 

[DeltaFosAware]

Good man! Look at it this way...Those images in your head could be so much more fun, fantastic and creative if it's you that's in them! If your imagery, created by your own thoughts (and they can be as inventive and even STUPID as you like) simply resets the old hard wired pathways just to the fun of spanking your own monkey, it will help for when the GF can spank it! Now of course porn tends to make us come too quickly (they've actually produced porn with that in mind....So many seconds until the old MONEY Shot) but we can slowly regain control on that one....Think about or even sing in your head 'Relax, don't do it...' Leaving porn is like trying to reclaim the contents of your own head! It's like going from just being an art lover to a painter! I mean, who'd hang around a Rembrant all day, staring at the techniques, taking in the colours, watch the shading and not want to dream up their own painting in their own mind next time they got bored? We know porn provides limitless variety but can it not also be way too serious? For crying out loud, look at the faces you get! Listen to the cheesy music and the story lines are a blast! So also lighten up, kick back, laugh at yourself and laugh at your world! Think, it's just fun being human and ENJOY!

 

[Vincent]

To tell you the truth, Ricky, I think this is possibly the worst situation. If you want to remove Porn from your life, the orgasm doesn't matter. Its fundamental that you think about your goal. What do you want to stop. Is it Porn? Orgasming to porn? masturbation at all? Masturbation with orgasm?

Every time I edged I used to beproud of myself because of this achievement. But in reality I only made it worse. If you think about it the Orgasm is the shortest part of the PMO. The least regarded. But in sex it is the most important. During PMO this orgasm is our goal but we do not really enjoy it. We just want to have it. Another Problem with edging: I did it because of the pre sensation of Orgasm, which aso felt very good. So I repeated it many times in one session stealing me even more time of the day. And when I couldn't hold it back anymore and came I felt even worse than when I just masturbated with my mind on the orgasm.

I think the rebooting process is something for you to decide on. But first you have to know where you wanna go.
Anyway Keep up the effort. You can make it as anybody else can!!!!!

 

[heroack]

Yeah i think edging takes more time. . Out consume more of your time because when your pmoing you come and itsover quick but when you edged seems you have come you keep searching and looking for the perfect scene. It won't be long until you go to far and slip to  pmo. That's why it's call edging. It happen to me miles of time when i went a little of the edge and slip back to pmoing. It's not save and its just as bad as pmoing. I know what pmo is but can someone tell me what
Pmo stand for?

 

[Vincent]

pmo= porn masturbation orgasm