Sex?

[Josh.Thomas1989]

I'm on day 25 and I'm starting to feel horny. I haven't relapsed. I have noticed the strength and duration of my erections has improved already. I'm not dating anybody but in case the opportunity arises, do I need to put off having sex? If so, how long do I need to hold off?

 

[William]

Hi, I went back and read all your posts.  You acknowledge being porn addiction and have identified the two main symptoms of porn addiction that guy quit porn for as having been problems for you, ED and PE. 

You are 25 days in.  I don't know if you are doing the hard 90,but if you are, 25 is an excellent start.  Your question is asked a lot here, can I have sex during the reboot?  Well, it begs the question...can you?  I don't know if you know whether it is possible yet or not, to get it up, keep it hard, and cum through sex.  What I know is that for a while, before you began the reboot, you had trouble with that, as many of us do. 

The thing about having sex is, sex is ultimately what we are trying to rewire to.  However, when you talk about having the opportunity, I read you are asking whether a one night stand or spontaneous sex with a stranger is a good thing (as opposed to someone you have emotional feelings for).  One of the problems, or realities, of DE is that we have wired ourselves to only reward porn, and pornographic, hypersexual thoughts.  We fuck that system up so much that some of us have to think of porn to reach O, even during sex with a real person.  If you are having sex but thinking of porn, you are pushing the wrong buttons.  Only you can know whether you might do that, even if going in, you don't plan on it. 

My opinion, for what it is worth, you are nearly 1/3 into the 90 day hard mode period, that is a limited time in your life to, hopefully, achieve lifetime results.  I think you should skip it all for the next 65 days, maintain hard mode, then see if the boat floats, as they say.  I mean, if you are addicted, and you say you are, and you have the symptoms of addiction that you wish to over come, and you say you do, then take the cure, the full cure, not watered down, and finish out the hard 90.  I know that may not be what you want to hear, but, in my opinion, better safe than sorry.  There is no compromise with our problem, which is actually dopamine addiction, and if we do anything to artificially give us a dopamine high during the reboot, we are doing damage, not good.

Peace. 

 

[Josh.Thomas1989]

Thank you for taking all of that time to help me, William. To be honest, 24 days ago I watched a testimonial video and the story was so similar to mine that I knew that PIED was my problem for sure. I don't know if I had ever fully accepted that until then. So from that moment I decided to quit porn. My intention is to quit porn entirely regardless of how long I make it without PMOing and regardless of if my erections reach the quality I want them to. It's not a good thing and I am an addict so I doubt it would ever be something I could moderate so it's best to just stay away. With all of that what I'm trying to say is that I started without even knowing the specifics of the different programs. But after hearing your advice, I think you are right. Since I have made a decent start of it, it's best to do it 100% the first time. Obviously everybody wants to move on from this problem the first time and be done with it. I never thought I would make it 25 days and it would be devastating to know I'm back to 0 days. I've been using porn for 10 years and hardcore porn for 3 years, so I know not to be discouraged if all is not fixed in 25 days. Here's to the next 65!

 

[Poker]

I think that's smart.  don't take your eye off the long term prize.....

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."
~Rush


Cheers,

p.

 

[indiana]

Josh, I've been thinking about this recently as well. Yesterday, a women I had been involved with in the past told me she had very strong feelings for me, which is really great to know a beautiful women likes me, but it also scared me. I got scared because I was afraid I'd start thinking about her rather than my recovery, which is paramount to everything in my life. Tonight we talked online and she asked me to come visit, and I was tempted, SHE'S GORGEOUS inside and out, but after reading this post, and specifically Williams response, I think the answer is to stick with it all for at least the 90 days.

Lets do this all the way so we can get all the way to our goals.

All the best brother.
Indiana.

 

[Bspy107]

Yes!!! on december 6, 2014 had sex for the first time i'm 18 and been watching porn since 5th grade so like 10 years of porn watching and doing PMO 1-2 times every day (if you think about it that's kinda gross lol) well anyways that night when i lost my virginity it took me around ten minutes to get hard and all that time i was making out and trying my hardest to get up well finally got it up and couldnt stay hard longer than a minute couldnt even cum so looked into it and ruled out anxiety because of my porn addiction well had sex with the same person next week without masterbating and porn and it still tok some time to get up during sex but was faster and i actually was able to last a little bit longer before going soft next week i met someone new and we we had sex and well all i needed to get a hard on was a few minutes of kissing and yes after three weeks you can actually get really hard not just a wanna be hard on but hard well anyway a few days later she asked me over and we hopped into the shower and we didnt have sex but i noticed i was getting a hard on without even trying it just sorta popped up and it wasnt hard just kinda like a semi chub that was trying really hard to get up similar to when you started getting morning wood again it wasnt to hard but was just kinda there it was weak and spongy then after the shpwer we watched a show while feeling her up you know then had sex and still had to make up but it was a lot faster to get up. so YES have sex with a women you heal a lot faster in my opinion. but try to see the same person over again i think that helps a little bit. 

can you please check out my poll and vote along with posting thanks
http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=2756.0