Special case, I wonder if someone has a useful advice!

[mike21]

Hi, I'm 21 years old and looking for some useful advice. Here is my whole story so you can understand my situation better.

My first ever sexual experience with a partner 3 years ago failed. I thought I was just nervous, but there was no reason to feel nervous around her, so I realized a bit later that I had ED dur to porn addiction. I watched porn and masturbated without having orgasm, I thought it was a good idea (was not...) and did not have any sexual contact with her for 1 month. After that we tried a few times and it did work out slowly, but after that we had a great sex life.

After we broke up i had nearly one year without sexual intercourse, because of emotional damage caused by the breakup. I was regularly watching porn and masturbatig again. Then I met someone and became "fuckbuddies" then a couple. This time we had a totally working sexlife, even though I didnt stop porn and masturbating. At the last month of our relationship I started to experience some problems: not getting hard enough, couldnt maintain erection during intecourse and sometimes low libido.

When we broke up I didnt think it was my previous addiction again, but now I met a girl and I couldnt get hard again. Luckily she understood and said that we have time, but it turns out that she is going abroad in one month for a long period. Now I am quite desperate, because I have feelings for herand really want to get intimate with her, but I am not sure if one month is enough for me to reboot.

I stopped watching porn a week ago, but cant help touching myself sometimes, but I will stop it now too. She regularly sends me nudes, do you think it is bad for my reboot?
After this one week without porn I feel most of the time that my libido is really low, it is kind of scary, but I read all the articles on the subject and they say it is normal.
I also thought about taking testosterone enhancing supplements (tribulus terrestris), I think MAYBE it will help, but I'm not sure. I used it sometime back, but then my sex life was normal with my first partner and it just made my high libido even higher (it was great though).

What are your thoughts on this? Please help, I'm really desperate, I feel like I don't have enough time!!

 

[Poker]

My thoughts.....  You might be rebooting for the wrong reason.

It should not be about having sex with this one girl before she goes away because you're really hot for her.  From what you've shared you've had ongoing performance issues on and off in several relationships.  That to me, is the real problem.

If you are looking for a long term solution to PIED problem, she can wait.  It may happen with her, it may not happen with her.....  What I need you to understand is this problem can get so bad that you may never be able to perform with a woman again....  for the rest of your life......  if you don't make some changes...  and you deserve better than that.

from what you've described so far, I think you can beat this.  be honest with her..... but no more nudes. 

If you ED is PI, then not sure testosterone will help.  I tried it, once in the height of my issues and it helped a little some times and I failed miserably at other times.

Watch these video's.  Eye openers....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXtEcQGLWW8  ~Noah Church

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0dDLWGMhUo  ~Gabe Deem

Good luck my friend.

p.

 

[mike21]

Thank you for your answer! The videos were really useful, although I am freaking out even more than I did, because seeing these people talking about this problem is really shocking and touching at the same time. I couldnt ever imagene that this can be so deep a problem. But lots of people managed to quit it before, so I believe that everyone, including me can too.

I think that you misunderstood me a bit, I don t want to quit PMO just for this girl, but me not able to have sex with her made me realize that I have a very serious problem. I am just desperate to be able to get intimate with her before she leaves, but whether I manage that or not, I will not go back to PMO again, because as you said it can ruin my future relationships too.

Thank you again for your answer! If anyone has some thoughts on this topic too, then be willing to share!

 

[Pr3c1se]

Hey Mike,

I'll add my thoughts, but they are only opinions and could very well be wrong.  Little disclaimer. Haha

I think stopping watching P is paramount, of course.  So definitely just kick the habit completely.  I find I watched it when I was bored.  It's now been over a month for me (I'm pretty new as well) and I can already see how much every other aspect of life is better without P.  I also found out I would MO simply because I was bored.  I'm now allowing myself to MO only when I get hard AND have been thinking about a real girl.  If these requirements are not met, then I refuse to do anything.  (I've found this drastically has reduced my MOing... perhaps once a week)...  Most people on this forums say to cut O off completely.  So you might want to do that.

Think of a group of pipes full of water.. The most water will flow where the pipes are largest... Right now the largest pipe is P induced and it's making all the other smaller pipes unable to maintain constant water flow.. but if you can eliminate this large pipe (the P pipe).. then there will be more than enough water needed to flow through other pipes, and they will eventually have to get bigger to carry the load... If this makes sense. hahaha =)

I think sending nudes is no bueno.  Only because it's another form of internet P.  That is not really her, it's a picture of her.  What really needs to turn you on is her touch, her smell, her smile, and of course her real body.  So it really depends on how you use these nudes.  It's almost better off not having them.

I honestly wouldn't worry about the added pressure of "time".  If you're not ready within a month and she really cares for you, then that won't be an issue at all.  Maybe just take care of her?

 

[mike21]

This idea of MO without P just when you really need it and can think about someone real, not P may work, not sure of it though, time will tell. Thank you for your answer!

 

[Pr3c1se]

Most people I've seen say stop EVERYTHING... That's probably the best...