past expirience fantasy??

[Marko7776]

For the last 2 days I've been getting these flashbacks from my past sexual expirience, which I had with real girls and when i realize what im thinking about, the fantasy is already over and i feel like i relapsed (did i?)
but since these are not porn flashbacks, are they a good sign?

 

[challenged]

Are these memories of actual experiences?  If so, I don't think I would even describe them as fantasies.  I don't see how having a memory of an actual past sexual experience with a real person would be harmful -- at least if it goes no farther than that.  And I think it could be helpful; it is certainly better than having fond memories of porn you have seen.

 

[Marko7776]

yes, they are memories of actual expirience, but i still try not to think about it, but since 2 days ago the flashbacks were only from porn

 

[challenged]

Well, I also think it is not uncommon to have flashbacks from porn.  Or even sometimes we can have dreams about porn.  When something has been a significant part of your life for a long time, it is natural that the mind would "go there" every once in a while, seemingly on its own sometimes.

I think the key is not to dwell on such thoughts.  I would not get concerned if a "bad" thought pops into your head once in a while.  The issue is what you do with the thought.  Do you dwell on it and engage that part of you that lusts after porn, or do you then proceed to watch porn or M to fantasies of porn?  Or do you "take it captive" and push it away and say "this is not me anymore"?

Stay strong, bro. 

 

[Marko7776]

I push it away of course! thanks for you answer

 

[Mbg]

Answers may differ from person to person but in my experience even fantasizing about actual sexual experiences has put me in danger of relapse.  For me, masturbation is a compulsive habit which was easily quenched with compulsive use of pornography.  However, if porn was not readily available, I could always count on the ol' memory bank to provide me with fuel for masturbation.  In my mind, past experiences of sex usually involved subjugation on my part and recalling these memories only triggers me to subjugate in the present.  I may ask my wife to fulfill some fantasy of mine which could easily make her feel uncomfortable.  If I was you, I'd do my best to live in the moment and in reality, not in fantasyland.

 

[challenged]

Yeah, I'm assuming the past sexual experiences were "typical" or "normal" sexual experiences.  My answer would be different if, for example, one was into bondage porn and the memory involved a time when you pushed your wife or girlfriend into mirroring some bondage porn that was a personal fetish. 

Also, I assume we're talking about a memory, and nothing more.  Obviously, if one proceeds from a memory to MO based on the fantasy, that could present a potential problem. But I do not believe the mere memory or recall of a "typical" sexual experience is a "relapse" or something to feel badly about.