StrongAndFree
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You can do it man! I recommend making it a goal to not pause the use of porn, but to completely eliminate it. The best place to start and create a game plan would be reading around here from others experiences and also check out yourbrainonporn.com
I don't see you ever regretting making a decision to quit. You have my support!
I don't see you ever regretting making a decision to quit. You have my support!
Vincent
Active Member
well put.
You started with the most important thing by letting others take part in your misery. Sharing is the first step for you to realize the extend this addiction has taken for you.
Please keep in mind that this in no way, regardles of the gravity of your addiction, means you can't overcome it. There is a way for everybody!
Start with smaller goals. Go with the people's experiences (like already stated). Try to find a way to seperate Porn and Masturbation from each other. Create a plan for yourself.
I also suggest a counter/spreadsheed for yourself to check on.
The most important thing here is to constantly check on yourself. You control your actions. Everybody here knows the feeling of not being able to stop. But the one moment when you say no and don't, when you actively feel in control. I that exact moment you will feel like Son Goku himself!!! and that is one to cherish and many of these will follow.
Stopping PMO, for me at least, has more to do with determination, selfrespect and pride than it has with simple willpower or abstinence.
You will surely find a way out of this. We will help where we can. Important is to be honest to yourself. There are a lot of lies we tell ourselves in order to blow off some steam
You started with the most important thing by letting others take part in your misery. Sharing is the first step for you to realize the extend this addiction has taken for you.
Please keep in mind that this in no way, regardles of the gravity of your addiction, means you can't overcome it. There is a way for everybody!
Start with smaller goals. Go with the people's experiences (like already stated). Try to find a way to seperate Porn and Masturbation from each other. Create a plan for yourself.
I also suggest a counter/spreadsheed for yourself to check on.
The most important thing here is to constantly check on yourself. You control your actions. Everybody here knows the feeling of not being able to stop. But the one moment when you say no and don't, when you actively feel in control. I that exact moment you will feel like Son Goku himself!!! and that is one to cherish and many of these will follow.
Stopping PMO, for me at least, has more to do with determination, selfrespect and pride than it has with simple willpower or abstinence.
You will surely find a way out of this. We will help where we can. Important is to be honest to yourself. There are a lot of lies we tell ourselves in order to blow off some steam
Vincent
Active Member
It is great to see you're progressing. As long as you find the way for you to overcome it, it is OK. Nobody here has the right to judge any methods or so. The only thing important is, that you can be proud of yourself and work away with porn. Of course everybody goes through some process over time - I saw how many times I was lying to myself about what I wanted, did and asked. This is normal.
Keep on rebooting!!!!! You're on the best way to get better.
Keep on rebooting!!!!! You're on the best way to get better.
Vincent
Active Member
It is!
You analyzed you situation which will help you deciding on your further progress.
The most important part however is, that you have to be very strict to yourself regarding PMO. I just tell you this, because I fell into these "lazy traps" (boredom, excuses, drunk etc.) so many times and are yet to understand my thought in those times.
You described porn well as a parasocial relationship. There is much to read on this from the scientific community.
Believe me, you are not alone in you constant thoughts on sex. It is the same for me and many others. I also used to watch porn because I was bored and it was a nice time filler - I fucking enjoyed myself every time until I noticed that I lost control over it.
Your feeling of not being able to change is only termporary - because you can change! The only thing you need is to realize HOW HARD it will be. Because I our minds we either are delusional of the fight that will go on. Or we give up because we don't want to fight the invincible. The funny thing is: This is a fight you already can win with the right mindset. Overcome the hurdle of it and you will see how easy it can be. Every time I sit here in front of my pc I thinK: come on just one flic.....but then it is up to me to say : NO. And, now being at day 5, my pride comes back and aids me with that decision every time. It will surely be the same for you.
Don't give up and prove to yourself that you are strong and determined! I believe you are!
You analyzed you situation which will help you deciding on your further progress.
The most important part however is, that you have to be very strict to yourself regarding PMO. I just tell you this, because I fell into these "lazy traps" (boredom, excuses, drunk etc.) so many times and are yet to understand my thought in those times.
You described porn well as a parasocial relationship. There is much to read on this from the scientific community.
Believe me, you are not alone in you constant thoughts on sex. It is the same for me and many others. I also used to watch porn because I was bored and it was a nice time filler - I fucking enjoyed myself every time until I noticed that I lost control over it.
Your feeling of not being able to change is only termporary - because you can change! The only thing you need is to realize HOW HARD it will be. Because I our minds we either are delusional of the fight that will go on. Or we give up because we don't want to fight the invincible. The funny thing is: This is a fight you already can win with the right mindset. Overcome the hurdle of it and you will see how easy it can be. Every time I sit here in front of my pc I thinK: come on just one flic.....but then it is up to me to say : NO. And, now being at day 5, my pride comes back and aids me with that decision every time. It will surely be the same for you.
Don't give up and prove to yourself that you are strong and determined! I believe you are!
timetorestart
Member
Insomniac I really appreciate your posts. I've just started a similar journey. Also with the online relationships / webcam problems. How do you put timers on your computer?
I also like to think of myself as a normal kind of guy. This is how I am portrayed to the outside world but really because of Internet sex and porn I am very dysfunctional
I also like to think of myself as a normal kind of guy. This is how I am portrayed to the outside world but really because of Internet sex and porn I am very dysfunctional
Vincent
Active Member
hey man,
I wouldn't regard this as a setback, either. You MOed without porn which for most porn addicts is a very hard task. You are doing great and the fact that you reset your counter shows you're determined to the fullest! Cheers on that!!!
Keep the challenge on! All the best
Vincent
I wouldn't regard this as a setback, either. You MOed without porn which for most porn addicts is a very hard task. You are doing great and the fact that you reset your counter shows you're determined to the fullest! Cheers on that!!!
Keep the challenge on! All the best
Vincent
Vincent
Active Member
no worries,
as long as you are honest to yourself this is OK. Just don't binge for days, this is the worst thing you could do.
You thoughts are absolutely right! you do it to escape. I did it as well. But since you are not running any more and fighting it, things are going to change!!!
keep on the good efforts
as long as you are honest to yourself this is OK. Just don't binge for days, this is the worst thing you could do.
You thoughts are absolutely right! you do it to escape. I did it as well. But since you are not running any more and fighting it, things are going to change!!!
keep on the good efforts
Vincent
Active Member
one major importance for you might be the situation you consume in. Try to analyse the circumstances WHEN you use porn.
Mainly, the struggle is there but not really fought out - therefore I suggest, you try to work a lot at public places and be accountable to us here. This involves absolute openness. Whenever you feel the need to watch a pic or so, go away from your PC. Never take your phone to the places you used to wank!
Use your PC - if not for work eg in the kitchen.
the less we feed you hungry addiction, the faster it dies!
You can do it.
I am sure. It might not look like it right now. But you can overcome it. Only the approach is one, you yourself have to discover!!!!! therefore : NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS REBOOT
Mainly, the struggle is there but not really fought out - therefore I suggest, you try to work a lot at public places and be accountable to us here. This involves absolute openness. Whenever you feel the need to watch a pic or so, go away from your PC. Never take your phone to the places you used to wank!
Use your PC - if not for work eg in the kitchen.
the less we feed you hungry addiction, the faster it dies!
You can do it.
I am sure. It might not look like it right now. But you can overcome it. Only the approach is one, you yourself have to discover!!!!! therefore : NEVER GIVE UP ON THIS REBOOT
Vincent
Active Member
hey man, I am in the exact same situation. the last week I fell for porn 2 times and binged while edging. I did not O... hell I did not MO the whole february.
But the edging is even worse, so I know the feeling.
There is only one thing we can do: fight, go on, never stop, until we reach our goal.
I now use more public accountability. I have a list ready for March. One side is red and says: I DID LOOK AT PORN TODAY
the other is green, stating the opposite. The list is at my wall, where anybody who comes to my place, and especially my GF, will see it. All of the reboot for me is still too private of a matter. I will only overcome it if I accept what I am and can admit it to everybody (if they want to know!!!!!!) without fearing them to think badly about me. I have to accept who I am in order to change myself. One has to establish a routine, a boring life, to make it spontaneous.
But the most important thing is: we have to challenge ourselves every day again, never stop to give up. Never try to run or to find an excuse. My suggestion: why don't we use an accountability spreadsheet together? there we can then enter our failures as a record list. I you fail, I will write you a message and ask why and viceversa.
how about that?
But the edging is even worse, so I know the feeling.
There is only one thing we can do: fight, go on, never stop, until we reach our goal.
I now use more public accountability. I have a list ready for March. One side is red and says: I DID LOOK AT PORN TODAY
the other is green, stating the opposite. The list is at my wall, where anybody who comes to my place, and especially my GF, will see it. All of the reboot for me is still too private of a matter. I will only overcome it if I accept what I am and can admit it to everybody (if they want to know!!!!!!) without fearing them to think badly about me. I have to accept who I am in order to change myself. One has to establish a routine, a boring life, to make it spontaneous.
But the most important thing is: we have to challenge ourselves every day again, never stop to give up. Never try to run or to find an excuse. My suggestion: why don't we use an accountability spreadsheet together? there we can then enter our failures as a record list. I you fail, I will write you a message and ask why and viceversa.
how about that?
Vincent
Active Member
you're on the right track. And I am pretty sure you will gradually reach the point where you prolong the gaps between PMO. Then you will find it boring after some time and if you manage to tame the curiosity about it (my main problem) you might as well skip PMO for good!!!!
Cheering for you!
Cheering for you!
Got some news for you. It is always willpower in the end. But blockers are very important as they prevent you from inadvertently coming across triggering material. That is REALLY important, but it's only assistance.
But only you can stop yourself from looking up P in the Internet. You either want freedom from P badly or you will be letting yourself down a bit, here and there. This latter situation is more likely evidence that you still have not come to terms with your addiction, you still think that you can control it, that you can watch a bit and be OK... All this is not true, but also all this has to be experienced firsthand, it cannot be learned. Keeping fingers crossed for you.
But only you can stop yourself from looking up P in the Internet. You either want freedom from P badly or you will be letting yourself down a bit, here and there. This latter situation is more likely evidence that you still have not come to terms with your addiction, you still think that you can control it, that you can watch a bit and be OK... All this is not true, but also all this has to be experienced firsthand, it cannot be learned. Keeping fingers crossed for you.
M
mtaha2015
Guest
17 days done. move forward.