rawhide888
New Member
38 year old married guy, have kids. Regular pot smoker. I've been looking at images for M and O since I was a little wanker. On the surface I seem like a successful happy guy...job, family, house, occasional vacation etc. I've always been a little down and depressed, not a whole lot of self esteem, it's gotten steadily worse over the years. I've always managed to muddle through and get from one phase of life to the next, I was just never that psyched to be where I was. PMO has crept steadily more into my life, so that now I sneak off at work to have a quick wank. I've been reading about the links between porn use and mental illness. Until recently I had never considered if my regular porn use was contributing to my worsening feelings of boredom and depression. It makes sense, that if you get all your dopamine rewards from porn and weed, real life just isn't that interesting. I've had relationships with girls, but never really felt that comfortable or confident around women, so porn was an easy way to get my dose of beauty without having to risk anything for it.
I've always used PMO but after our last baby the wife and I have very little sex and we're constantly at each other. I've been using PMO several times a day for several months, pretty much full-on-spider-monkey-mode. I've starting going to bikini barista stands on the way to AND home from work...and not just for the coffee. I'll be browsing for porn on my phone while I'm watching my kids play...and I'm missing seeing my kids grow up...WTF!?!
I also use weed pretty much daily. Another point of contention with the wife...
My wife and kids are out of town with family after the holidays while I'm back home working. Since I've been home alone, it's been insane...I pretty much plan my days around PMO, then weed, then food maybe, then sleep. Last night after work I was driving around looking for a strip club. I had cash and was all ready, checked out a few out, picked one and drove into the parking lot, and I sat there for like 15min deciding or not to go in. There were several lonely downtrodden looking dude milling about, so I decided to go home and smoke a joint and jerk off.
So here I am the next morning, day 0 of reboot. Going to write this down and see where it takes me. I hope this helps anyone who wants to stop using PMO!
Day 0
I've always used PMO but after our last baby the wife and I have very little sex and we're constantly at each other. I've been using PMO several times a day for several months, pretty much full-on-spider-monkey-mode. I've starting going to bikini barista stands on the way to AND home from work...and not just for the coffee. I'll be browsing for porn on my phone while I'm watching my kids play...and I'm missing seeing my kids grow up...WTF!?!
I also use weed pretty much daily. Another point of contention with the wife...
My wife and kids are out of town with family after the holidays while I'm back home working. Since I've been home alone, it's been insane...I pretty much plan my days around PMO, then weed, then food maybe, then sleep. Last night after work I was driving around looking for a strip club. I had cash and was all ready, checked out a few out, picked one and drove into the parking lot, and I sat there for like 15min deciding or not to go in. There were several lonely downtrodden looking dude milling about, so I decided to go home and smoke a joint and jerk off.
So here I am the next morning, day 0 of reboot. Going to write this down and see where it takes me. I hope this helps anyone who wants to stop using PMO!
Day 0