I'll make my story short and simple. I have been PMO'ing to porn since the days of BBS and 2400 baud modems. Because I was fairly active sexually during my 20's I never worried about PIED as it did not interfere with my sex life. I met my wife more than 8 years ago and we've been happily married the past 5-6 years. Until recently (i.e., 3 months ago), I never realized that my porn fetishes were actually impacting my sex life with my wife. When I met my wife, I told her about all my fetishes and she even allowed me to indulge in most of them throughout most of relationship. Unfortunately, I think that was a HUGE MISTAKE. Since our first sexual encounter, I have always indulged in my porn-induced fetishes with my wife and for awhile ... it seemed as though THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO ENJOY SEX and have erections. Until recently, when my wife finally tired of indulging in my porn-induced fetishes and wanted me to enjoy sex with her more 'naturally'.
As one can imagine...this is when I finally came to the realization that I have PIED. About 10 days ago, I finally decided to start my reboot. The first 5 days went well...but then my wife and I decided to 'fool around'. Though I am happy to say that I did become aroused by wife in a more 'natural way' (i.e., NO FAP)...my ED surfaced half-way during this sexual encounter and I could not finish :-[
Though having this sexual experience was gratifying...it also brought about frustration as my need to look at porn resurfaced with great intensity after this sexual experience...until I finally caved (today) and PMO'd. Let's just say the experience was LESS THAN SATISFYING...which might be a good thing since I typically get an immense sense of satisfaction from PMO. Maybe I am being overly optimistic...but I hope this negative PMO experience is the first step towards a renewed (stronger) commitment to rebooting.
iWith every failure, I hope to learn from each experience to make me stronger and more committed to my reboot. I hope this will be my first and ONLY failed attempt at rebooting, but even if it is not, I know that giving up on rebooting is NOT AN OPTION if I want to find happiness in my sex life again.
Best of luck to all...I look forward to conquering this battle over PIED with shared support from others as well as myself.
As one can imagine...this is when I finally came to the realization that I have PIED. About 10 days ago, I finally decided to start my reboot. The first 5 days went well...but then my wife and I decided to 'fool around'. Though I am happy to say that I did become aroused by wife in a more 'natural way' (i.e., NO FAP)...my ED surfaced half-way during this sexual encounter and I could not finish :-[
Though having this sexual experience was gratifying...it also brought about frustration as my need to look at porn resurfaced with great intensity after this sexual experience...until I finally caved (today) and PMO'd. Let's just say the experience was LESS THAN SATISFYING...which might be a good thing since I typically get an immense sense of satisfaction from PMO. Maybe I am being overly optimistic...but I hope this negative PMO experience is the first step towards a renewed (stronger) commitment to rebooting.
iWith every failure, I hope to learn from each experience to make me stronger and more committed to my reboot. I hope this will be my first and ONLY failed attempt at rebooting, but even if it is not, I know that giving up on rebooting is NOT AN OPTION if I want to find happiness in my sex life again.
Best of luck to all...I look forward to conquering this battle over PIED with shared support from others as well as myself.
