Desensitized
New Member
So I'm 19 years old and I think I've been struggling with PIED and lack of libido for 2-3 years now. I was ALWAYS super horny since I was a kid till about 15 or early days of 16. I would get raging boners to girls in my class as early as the age of 9 (embarrassing sometimes!), sex pretty much consumed my life. I thought about it almost every day from a young age. When I was 11-12 I started looking up soft bikini pics of girls and then escalated videos of girls stripping down to their bra and panties. Soon I continued to full nude strips and then briefly went into full on vanilla porn and actual sex. This is when porn started getting less interesting to me and I didn't feel the urge to watch it anymore (flatline?). I never really got into the kinky stuff. Here is the kicker though, I NEVER MASTURBATED to it, in fact I only started masturbating at the age of 18 after I ejaculated with a girl ...weird I know (I would get a wet dream almost every other day for a long time). I would just watch these videos for 1-3 hours a day with a boner and minimal touching, though not every day. I would binge, like do this every day for 3 weeks or so then just stop all together for a month or two because I felt guilty...then repeat. I would do it less and less as I got older. I first noticed I had erectile problems at age 17 when I was grinding with my prom date who happened to be like the hottest possible girl to me. I noticed I could not get a boner no matter how hard she grinded on me. But I thought nothing of it, no big deal. The summer after graduation I had my first sexual encounter with a girl at a party. I was, however, super intoxicated and it led to a flaccid blowjob. I blamed this on the alcohol, which might have been actually the culprit because I puked right after this incident haha (after puking I did get a weak erection cuddling with her). Next encounter was another girl at a party the same summer, but this time I had no where near as much to drink as the previous time and the same result...flaccid bj. Super embarrassing for me again...even more so because I found out she told everyone at the party afterward. Next encounter was in college with even less alcohol and same flaccid story. This girl however stuck with me for a while and I lost my virginity to her at the age of 18 (I started masturbating after I ejaculated to sex first!). Our sex was really limited though and I didn't enjoy it a lot of times. She would have to give me a handy to get me hard then jump on top really quick before my erection faded. Any other position I would not be able to maintain a hard on or I would even go soft inside. I had almost no sensitivity in my dick, pretty much couldn't fell anything. I also had PE and would cum in under a minute every time. Eventually she dumped me for these very reasons (she told me outright). I realized my dick was really messed up. I would not get morning wood, it was all shriveled up and my libido was almost non-existent. I was so embarrassed by this and I did some research online and eventually found Porn induced ED. At this point I really had not been watching any porn for a long time, but I thought maybe it was because of my past porn habits so I did no P for about 4ish months last summer with healthy amount of MO couple times a week to fantasy. When I got back to school I noticed I was getting weak random boners again and my morning wood was back. For some reason I thought maybe it wasn't PIED and maybe just anxiety or something so I started watching soft stuff like bikini girls and masturbating and o'ing to it then I went back to girls stripping and vanilla porn again, this period was pretty much the first time when I started actually jacking off to porn. It was not an insane amount... most I ever did in my life was 3 in one day, but usually I did it twice per day every 2ish days, however they would be long edging sessions (I was trying to get over my premature ejac). I would sometimes take even a week break from this. Then I tried to hook up with another girl and bam flaccid again...we tried to hook up another time and nothing...the only thing that would happen is I would leak pre-cum while flaccid. I went to a doc and all my levels checked out, I actually had high testosterone wtf! Since that point I took charge and decided no more pmo, I have gone 57 days without p, no voluntary o (I still get wet dreams) and no m for the most part (I test frequently, I should stop though I know). Morning wood is there every morning, about 1-3 days out of the week its raging the rest of the days it is weak but still there. I have been taking a few supplements that I heard would help increase the number of d2 receptors, which include a stack of uridine, dha, and cdp choline. I hope to try for sex again by day 70ish, but I don't know if I'll be ready again. Anyway sorry for this super long story I just had to get it out there...makes me feel better telling it...but good to be here with you guys!