Thank God i found this forum. I was just married. Never performed any sex before however i masturbated heavily since the age 13 to now (age 29). I was arouse when i did foreplay with my wife, but the penis loose it erection when i touch the vagina of my wife. Even worse sometime my penis did not erect at all when i was performing foreplay with my wife. I am very worried. Can i heal myself?? I wanted to stop porn addiction and masturbation. I am success for two weeks however when i was away due to job, i masturbated and i cum hard. I feel very depressed not to able penetrate my wife. Please do help me :-[
Fail to penetrate, addicted to porn, help me
- Thread starter Helpme
- Start date
qrayzHD
Active Member
First of all, congratulations on getting married! 
Now, if you can get an erection watching porn but not when you're having sex then it is very likely Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
You may want to explain to your partner why you believe you have ED and that you will need to abstain from orgasm with her until you are better, an orgasm prolongs recovery and can send you back into what is called a Flatline.
To reboot you will want to stay away from all forms of artificial sexual stimuli until you feel better, it is a significant advantage to rewire with your partner by kissing, hugging and touching, you could also try Karezza sex.
I recommend going to yourbrainonporn.com and learning as much as you can on the subject.
Best of luck and if you have any questions, this forum is the place to ask.
Now, if you can get an erection watching porn but not when you're having sex then it is very likely Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
You may want to explain to your partner why you believe you have ED and that you will need to abstain from orgasm with her until you are better, an orgasm prolongs recovery and can send you back into what is called a Flatline.
To reboot you will want to stay away from all forms of artificial sexual stimuli until you feel better, it is a significant advantage to rewire with your partner by kissing, hugging and touching, you could also try Karezza sex.
I recommend going to yourbrainonporn.com and learning as much as you can on the subject.
Best of luck and if you have any questions, this forum is the place to ask.
Killa_Mike
Member
Hello friend, I have a very similar problem as described so you are not alone. You can read my story to see similarities.
Best of luck with your reboot, I am interested to see how you progress.
Best of luck with your reboot, I am interested to see how you progress.
greaternest
Member
Hello! You came to the right place where you can find guys having the same problem. POrn Induced Erectile Dysfunction is harsh and I also experienced this terrifying feeling of not Bering able to satisfy my woman. But there is hope! Start your reboot today, STOP watching porn and you will start your hard but only way to recovery!
Helpme said:
When performing Kegel exercises you repeatedly contract and relaxe Kegel muscles. To put it simple, contract same muscles that you use when you want stop flow during urination. Don?t tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen only Kegel muscles. Each contraction should take about 5 sec. in the begining and rise up to 10 by the time.
There is lot of info on the net, just search "how to perform kegel excercise"
I understand your pain, really, I got Erectile disfunction too, there is a lot of factor to take in count.
First, it's true that masturbation may diminish your capacity to get hard. But relax, there is no need to beat yourself. Try to determine your trigger and try to change your habit.
Second, don't forget that in porn, actor are expected to take medication to stay hard, so porn isn't a accurate representation of the reality. Even "home made" aren't a good representation. Who really post bad intercourse, were are the fail, because there is a lot of fail and it's normal. It's life. My sexologist told me and my wife that sexuality is like a sky, sometime there is Sun, sometime there is cloud and sometime it's pouring rain, snow and ice (Condition may apply).
I like to say that, because it helped me a lot to release the pressure of having an intercourse like in porn. When I began with my girlfriend, I was really affraid of not being able to get hard. I was really stressful. It's normal, it's the first time. And I told her, and she was comprehensive. With time, I gain confidence, but it took months. Now, it's ok, but sometime, I get erectile problem, and we just do other thing.
So if it can help you, be yourself and give yourself the time to change.
First, it's true that masturbation may diminish your capacity to get hard. But relax, there is no need to beat yourself. Try to determine your trigger and try to change your habit.
Second, don't forget that in porn, actor are expected to take medication to stay hard, so porn isn't a accurate representation of the reality. Even "home made" aren't a good representation. Who really post bad intercourse, were are the fail, because there is a lot of fail and it's normal. It's life. My sexologist told me and my wife that sexuality is like a sky, sometime there is Sun, sometime there is cloud and sometime it's pouring rain, snow and ice (Condition may apply).
I like to say that, because it helped me a lot to release the pressure of having an intercourse like in porn. When I began with my girlfriend, I was really affraid of not being able to get hard. I was really stressful. It's normal, it's the first time. And I told her, and she was comprehensive. With time, I gain confidence, but it took months. Now, it's ok, but sometime, I get erectile problem, and we just do other thing.
So if it can help you, be yourself and give yourself the time to change.
First off, congrats on your marriage! I was in the same place as you. I'm glad you searched and found this forum early in your marriage. Take on this battle ASAP! I dealt with PIED in my marriage for 15 years before the light bulb turned on and got it diagnosed. It has been a rough ride. I'm really glad to see you are tackling it now. That is the smartest thing to do! I've failed several times so far at no PMO. but I keep trying. Don't beat yourself up if you get weak and PMO! Get back up and fight for yourself and your marriage! These guys here are great supporters and examples! Good luck!!
Killa_Mike
Member
Hey man, sorry to hear about your relapses.
Every time you get a craving to PMO, just close your eyes take a large breath to diffuse the excitement, think about your wife and remember that you are doing this for her too. She should be your top priority, use that as your motivation to stay on track. I hope it helps!
Every time you get a craving to PMO, just close your eyes take a large breath to diffuse the excitement, think about your wife and remember that you are doing this for her too. She should be your top priority, use that as your motivation to stay on track. I hope it helps!