Giving up on hardmode for a while

[Out_of_The_Pits]

I can't do it. just relapsed again today, at least to normal stuff. I keep getting horrible anxiety. I think I need to ween myself instead of full cold turkey. I never had ed just a really bad fetish I can't relate to. So maybe it'll go away if I simply avoid the fetish stimulation. I'm going to go a week without porn than switch back into hardmode once my fear of arousal is gone.

 

[Innocence]

Hard mode isn't required to reboot, it's good that you are going to reboot your way!

 

[Fappy]

Customise your own reboot. Not everyone recovers in the same way. Hardmode isnt for you, thats fine. No good trying to force medicine down your throat if you want swallow it.
Set yourself something reasonable if you feel you need to ease yourself off.
For example, some softcore stuff ONLY when you feel the urge. Set yourself a rule: No bare chests or cunts. Youll get off to that if thats the only visual stimuli your allow yourself.
Then cut it down even further to just still images.
Slowly does it, but be realistic. A herion addict is given methadone to help fight the withdrawal symptoms. Find your methadone.

 

[Mbg]

In my experience, this seems like a difficult situation.  I have been there too.  The first few weeks of cold turkey reboot were hell.  I had headaches, horrible depression, strong urges, and hyper sexual dreams almost nightly.  I know how it feels to relapse, the guilt is hard to bare.  With that said, for everyday of completed hardmode is the feeling of reclaiming manageability over my life.  Porn and masturbation seem less and less like the bane of my existence.  I am beginning to feel again and the sense of guilt and shame seem to disintegrate.  I relapsed on 12/27 after 114 days of porn or masturbation and it really hurt.  I felt like it was all for nothing.  However, relapsing may be inevitable, but what I can do is make the choice to recommit to recovery after a relapse.  Which means forging through guilt.  I encourage you to stick with it.  When you get anxious or lonely or just feel helpless, get on the forum.  I recommend finding a 12 step group or something similar to help get you through trying times. 

 

[Secondhalf]

Mbg,

Im curious what it's like to go 114 days without porn or mo?  Thats some feat.  Did you feel healed?
Sec

 

[challenged]

I can't do it. just relapsed again today, at least to normal stuff. I keep getting horrible anxiety. I think I need to ween myself instead of full cold turkey.

I commend and applaud people who can reboot cold turkey,, but I wouldn't be surprised if many rebooters are going to have to do it gradually (either because it is just so hard to go cold turkey and immediately stop an ingrained habit, or because there are so many triggers and sexual imagery everywhere today). 

Maybe you should start by setting shorter term goals, and then increasing your goals. For example, go 10 days without any porn, and once you accomplish that, set your next goal for 15 days, etc.  Maybe at the same time decrease the length of any session in which you view porn (if you tend to view it for a substantial period of time).  Or maybe just avoid the fetish porn for awhile as you grow stronger.

As someone said above, everyone has to figure out what type of rebooting process works for them.  The key is to remain committed and not to give up.  It can difficult to overcome this problem, but it is not impossible.

 

[Mbg]

Mbg,

Im curious what it's like to go 114 days without porn or mo?  Thats some feat.  Did you feel healed?
Sec

I don't think I'll ever feel healed.  Sex addiction is an incurable disease.  I'd say I felt/feel more in control of my life, really through admitting that I cannot ever control my addiction.  My life is the best it has ever been since starting on the path to recovery.  I am able to be critical of myself, make amends to those I've hurt, and discover what true love and intimacy are.  114 days is merely a result of living in recovery.  I really just take it one day at a time.