Confused about flatline

[Alan.85]

Hi!

Just started this journey, and it looks like very easy... because I have had no libido at all since day 1!! 

Is it already flatline?! I feel no interest in women or sex, not for real ones nor for porn... But I'm not depressed or in a bad mood.  I have already experienced sometimes this feeling during last months, but usually I solved it watching porn or masturbating even without porn (I could do the same now, if I wasn't in this challenge, because if I touch myself even without fantasies I can get hard...). I feel I could get hard with porn or with fantasies about my ex or real girls now, but not with my ex or a real girl in person...

Do you think is it normal, or part of the recovery? 

 

[qrayzHD]

Do you often have low libido that seems to get better only when you watch porn? If yes then his is my theory i'm currently entertaining, it's possible that you are in a constant state of being in a flatline when not watching porn and temporarily coming out of a flatline when watching porn. Does that sound possible?

Update: Honestly, i don't even follow this theory myself now. I believe our difference to other rebooters is caused by the age we started, the extreme porn we were using and a lack of real female contact. This idea of a forever flatline is nonsensical and isn't even necessary to explain our issues.

 

[Alan.85]

Do you often have low libido that seems to get better only when you watch porn? If yes then his is my theory i'm currently entertaining, it's possible that you are in a constant state of being in a flatline when not watching porn and temporarily coming out of a flatline when watching porn. Does that sound possible?

Yes, in fact sometimes it is like that! I watch porn just to get hard and feel excited... I am not really interested in porn itself... In fact I can easily avoid it... But in this way I don't get horny not even on a beach full of girls...!!  :'(

I just get horny when I see people making out, as it happens in clubs... But when I was making out with my girlfriend, I wasn't excited at all (and I was not nervous or anxious)

 

[qrayzHD]

I feel the same way as you do. Just goes to show that not everyone are necessarily addicted to porn and that not all people are effected by it the same way. Anyway, best of luck with the reboot 

 

[Alan.85]

I feel the same way as you do. Just goes to show that not everyone are necessarily addicted to porn and that not all people are effected by it the same way. Anyway, best of luck with the reboot 

I just read your diary, great job, congratulations!

Anyway you say your libido is not back... Do you feel are making progress about it? I think last time I felt something like real libido was 10 years ago  :-X

 

[Chaos Mind]

I just get horny when I see people making out, as it happens in clubs... But when I was making out with my girlfriend, I wasn't excited at all (and I was not nervous or anxious)

You might have become used to being a 3rd person observer. That's voyeuristic tendency and during your recovery you should be aiming at finding pleasure in what you are doing yourself. I can only guess, but to me it sounds like you have a low self esteem. You get horny when you observe, because you can change perspective. You become the man who makes out with the hot chick and that raises your level of confidence. But when kissing your own girlfriend doubts appear in your mind and you wonder if you are doing well enough for her to love you.

Porn has a strong influence on these bad feelings, because it shows us a world of 100% potency, perfect anatomy, beauty and lust. Reality is different, never forget that. In real life nothing happens at the push of a button. We struggle, we fail, but we always get up and try again. That's how sexuality really is. The dude you watch at the club...what tells you he's not one of us? He makes out and feels like king, but when he takes her home, he remains limb.

 

[qrayzHD]

Unfortunately i have made no progress on libido, but that's likely because my longest hardmode streak is only 45 days and i keep sending myself back into a flatline, even though i had no urges to masturbate in the first place. I also haven't felt true libido outside of porn in at least 9 years, *because that's how long i've been abusing myself with porn for*.

 

[Alan.85]

Unfortunately i have made no progress on libido, but that's likely because my longest hardmode streak is only 45 days and i keep sending myself back into a flatline, even though i had no urges to masturbate in the first place. I also haven't felt true libido outside of porn in at least 9 years.

Wow... This is not very encouraging...!

Maybe our situation is hopeless, and the damages we did to ourselves are permanent and irreversible?

 

[Alan.85]

No not at all, our problem is definitely fixable. Gabe Deem took 6 months hardmode before his libido came back and 9 months to have successful sex.

Ok, but did he have the same years-long flatline problem which began BEFORE the PMO quitting?

 

[Secondhalf]

Gray Z and Alan,

I hope you don't mind me jumping in but both of what you guys said hits home.  First, GrayZ said the part of being in a flatline all the time and only being "OUT" of the flatline while watchng porn is me to a T.  It's like I need relief from the flatline itself which is whay I still escape to porn.  Make sense?

The fear of the going through the flatline part is why we masturbate to porn even when we are not horny or masturbate with out porn which Alan touched on.

I too worry that this is permanent but a Doctor told me once even pain and negative energy is better than nothing at all.  I think it is a sign of your body raising an issue so that it can fix itself.  I have been feeling like this for 15 years.  Fortunatly no ED just chronic tension and retraction.  tried everything but what I am noticing is that in between my setbacks I feel a little better and come back a little stronger.  I have ejaculated 4 times in two and a half months and STILL feel depleted.  I think i order to finally beat this I know I need to go full tilt abstinent for several months.  I can tell you once every 3 weeks to a month even withour porn is still not enough.  Maybe guys like us are a bit more sensitive to the destruction of porn which is a good thing.  Hope your journey goes well.  Keep in touch
SEC

 

[Alan.85]

a Doctor told me once even pain and negative energy is better than nothing at all.  I think it is a sign of your body raising an issue so that it can fix itself. 
SEC

But this is the problem...! No pain and no negative energy, just no sexual drive at all. That's why my worst fear is that my libido is "broken", permanently damaged and lost forever!

 

[Secondhalf]

How long has it been since you pmo'd last.  Maybe you need more time?

 

[Attos]

Alan, if you're just starting, it could be just the enthusiasm about this new thing that's taking over your desires.

In which case you might want to watch out for a sudden increase in desire / withdrawal symptoms over the next couple of weeks.

Finding yourself some rewarding positive and/or relaxing activities to do might help there.

 

[Secondhalf]

Grayz,

Just curious if you think if you stopped mo alltogether will things improve faster.  You mentioned hard mode for 45 days...I think it must be a light switch after 6 months and just heal altogether for many.  It's getting there thats tough.

 

[qrayzHD]

Just curious if you think if you stopped mo alltogether will things improve faster.

Yes. I have seen the most progress doing NoFap. As i said whenever i have realized morning wood returning, which a sign that you have come out of a flatline, i send myself back into a flatline by MOing before my brain even has a chance to heal.

 

[Fappy]

My reboot has just started, a little over 20 days, and already is can see a change in the flatlines. The first flatline i had about four or five days after stopping porn lasted about ten days. No libido, a dead cock. I must say it was fantastic! I felt irritable and moody but the feeling of not being ruled by my cock was great. I just enjoyed the flatline until it finished at about day fifteen.
I started to get erections at the thought of sex with my wife, id get rock hard to see her in the shower or getting changed! This has NEVER happened, ever, in our entire relationship.
Then another flatline for about three days. This confused me. I went from having this animalistic sex drive and no problems having sex and getting erections to nothing. Oh, well i wont question it. Just ride out the flatline again, i thought.
Now my drive has come back with a vengeance. Ill except another flatline soon, but until then ill enjoy it.
Flatlines seem to come and go at any time during a reboot.

Fap-meister