time to get my life back

[tohellwiththedevil]

Well I could start by saying that I'm here due to some act of nature. But I'm not.  I'm 45 years old and have been a porn addict since 12. What started with sexual abuse from my step father led to my discovery of his porn collection. Magazines vhs tapes, what an amazing discovery I made, my body is my own amusement park. I had no idea what a self destructive path I had just gotten on. Why did the internet get invented during my lifetime. What used to be the old sears catalog has now morphed into my own favorite past time. My hand, alone time, and the web. What more did I need? I used to think, "this will all change when I get married right"?  WRONG! 
somehow I have been lead here. The addiction needs to stop. My infidelity needs to stop. Enough is enough.

 

[Tarmala]

That's great your created your own journal, you can be pround. You talked about pasttime. When I quit smoking, the harder was to get ride of the habbit of smoking before going to bed, because I loved the time to think. (I was smoking pipe, it take 15 min) Finaly, by best way was to take a beer outside, instead. I it's how I had been sucessful. So maybe it can help to find another past time.. I hope the best for you.

 

[tohellwiththedevil]

Well its been about a week but I am noticing some small changes. The time I would spend whacking off, I'm actually becoming closer to my wife. Not in a sexual way but just hanging out, watching TV, or just talking. I still sometimes think about internet porn. I think I may be afraid to go online right now. Sleep deprivation has started. I look forward to the day that I'm over this crap. I fight goes on.Take care all.