It's been awhile. Just wanted to pass something on.
I was researching something recently that related to ED. I haven't really been cured. I'm still working on it. But I'm trying to figure out what is going on. Why, after all this time, have I not progressed further? Is there anything I could be doing better? I don't say that out of frustration, or anger, but more a honest curious interest and desire to take steps needed.
See, I am in an odd spot right now. I don't really feel like I am in a flatline. I'm not getting erections, but emotionally, I just feel like I am passed that. I don't really have a lot of anxiety, maybe a little nervousness, but not alot of anxiety like some of my earlier posts. I'm starting to get a little excited in the mornings, but no full blown erections. I haven't edged.
I can't remember what I was researching, but I do remember this one post I found. It's interesting, because, although this may have been covered indirectly on YBOP and other posts here, I don't remember reading anything that said it this plainly, or effected me the way this one post did.
Simply put, it is not enough to stop looking at porn. I need to replace porn with something else. I have been thinking for so long that porn is the problem. Thus, no more porn, no more problem. But that may not be true. The answer may not be that simple. I need to replace porn with something else too. I need to find something else that will give me that same excitement that porn does. I'm not talking about erections, but that desire to pursue. I need to find something that I am so excited about doing that I get excited to do, that I crave to do when I have nothing to do. Again, I'm not talking about sexual excitement here. I think that's what is happening when the posters here are pursuing exercise as the replacement. Not only are there health benefits to exercise, but the body craves the physical activity, once you condition it into a habit. I'm not saying exercise is the only answer. What I am saying is that I thought all I had to do was just stop looking at porn and thinking about porn and continue to live my life as I had been. I was wrong. I need to find something else, develop an intense interest in that, and train my brain to use that as its dopamine trigger.
I also definitely need to get outside more.
Here's the link where I found the post http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147049783
There are a lot of entries on that blog though, so the particular post that hit home for me is copied below. It also has some good comments on the effects of p and m.
Part 3 - Fapping without porn - EDIT: This post took me 5 minutes 34 seconds to read at an average pace. It is worth it especially if you are FOREVERALONE, underachiever, depressed, dontevenlift.
Although I was back to fapping once a week. Now and then I would binge for several days consecutively but this was rare. Happened for say 3 days every 2 months. I would slowly get more depressed in my routine and then I would binge. Then I would stop and go back to my old routine. Repeat Repeat.
One day I decided well why don't I fap without porn. Simple as that I don't know what prompted me to do so but one thing was for certain brahs. Instead of 10 minutes and a mediocre orgasm it took me about 20 and **** brahs was it the best orgasm I had in months honnestly. See the thing with porn is that it helps us become easily aroused. We don't need to make an effort we don't need to use our imagination and it is so easy and convinient. The issue is though while it is easy it simply doesn't feel as good. You keep going you orgasm and that is it afterwards you don't even care, but you are disappointed if you go on a ****ty part of the clip.
You are not thinking about what feels good, you are thinking about the image you are seeing on the screen and after 10 minutes you say to yourself OH THIS IS THE GOOD PART TIME TO FINISH. This is unnatural and this is what is actually conditioning us in a negative way. You are not in control of what you are viewing you are simply selecting a clip that has already been choreographed and you are doing exactly what the director expects of you. You also become desensitized just look at the ads that are up on these sites these days and you will see how they have become much more violent.
So porn is a large factor and it conditions your mind in a very negative way. I will talk about porn in my final post but what I want to talk about next is habits. Porn is a hard habit to break and it's designed that way but your focus shouldn't simply be that PORN IS BAD IF I CUT THAT OUT THINGS WILL GET BETTER. For some of you who are desensitized you have much more to gain but to the rest of us cutting porn doesn't mean everything will change. It is a misconception.
This is why I decided to make this thread NO-FAP came about because we realize our lives suck and we want to change it for the better. Some of us are not addicted to porn but our lives still suck and we are still foreveralone. WHY is this? There is so much emphasis on NO-FAP people earlier in this thread pointed out that it's all in your mind and that is the truth but words won't change your life, understanding and repetitive action will change your life.
We are not foreveralone because of one particular thing in our lifes and things wont change if we decide to cut things out, things will only change if we add things in. See its logical that there are no quick fixes in life and the world as we know it is set up so that people create their wealth at our expense. You see a fat dude coming out of McDonalds and it makes you disgust, you keep a strict exercise and diet routine (if you lift) and you may rage at how someone can let themselves go like this, then you go home and convince your girlfriend that it would be sexy if she gags on your cock because thats what you have repeatedly fapped to on brazzers. Hundreds of marketers in the porn industry are thinking of new ways to keep you coming back for more and more 'exciting' content just like hundreds of marketers at fast food chains spend hours devising new ways to get people to consume more in a single sitting. You see things at face value, you cant blame other people and you cant expect to have a fufilling life unless you completely change your environment and routine to meet that and for some of us it means cutting down internet recreational time, limiting MISC to two hours, two days per week AND THEN FILLING ALL THAT EMPTY TIME WITH SOMETHING THAT GETS YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE!
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit You have all heard this but do you truly understand it???! how does it translate into what you do today and over the rest of the week, month year. It takes years to build a good physique we KNOW this! It's a long time Rome was not built in a day! Yet some of us are still MISCing we look back and think wow the last year has gone by so quick, then you look in the mirror and you look exactly the same. Your bench has not been going up week by week maybe you havent even been in the gym for weeks.
I'm not telling you anything new, i'm not telling you anything you don't already know. So why are their hundreds if not thousands of NO-FAPPERS all accross the internet, why are their so many threads with hundreds of pages fixated on this one topic? There are more NO-FAP threads than there are PROGRESS threads on the MISC, this says a little something already.
The people who have achieved the gains in the NO-FAP threads that leave the others in awe are the ones that made a fundamental difference in their lives. They made a psychological decision that they were worth going back to school, taking a grand in savings and going backpacking for 2 weeks immersing themselves in a completely different environment for an extended period, applying for that new job that they thought was above them, approaching that cute girl or just speaking to people they dont know in class. They didn't just cut things out of their lives, they filled things in. I can't tell the reader of this post what to do because everyone is unique, you may have some savings and think well OP said backpacking is good - well then do it because you will do things that you probably havent for months. You may apply for that job and fail but you cant quit you have to keep going and take steps to improve your CV. This is what the successors of NO-FAP have been doing and as a result the women that have been approaching them have done so because they now walk with their heads up, with a smile on their face and some self worth after getting out of their house, changing their routine and doing things with their lives, they are happy and therefore are approachable. Some of you aesthetic foreveraloners you do have women checking you out but you are so negative you dont realize it, but they dont approach you because you dont seem approachable and anyway things dont always come to us so easily, we need to be out there doing the approaching ourselves.
So many of us are young and lead empty lives, it doesn't have to be this way. If you think NO-FAP will change your life you are mistaken. If your in this situation you will find it very difficuilt to change your life from the confines of your basement walls you need to be outside, im sure you can think of a hundred reasons why you can't. Please post them in this thread so I can simply debunk them for being so meaningless.
There is no reason to be upset brahs. This is the reality of NO-FAP.
