NeverSayNever
Member
Hi all,
Glad to be here!
I won't dwell a lot on my story, just few facts and try to report daily. I think some details will come sooner or later as I blog.
Age: 39, Male, been watching porn since my early teens
History of sexual (incest) and physical abuse as a child
a couple of years of depression during my late twenties, where I deeply dived into porn addiction where I watched porn for 4 hours plus every day, almost dropped out of graduate school. But finally got myself together and finished my phd and currently working as a researcher.
Have been experiencing ED on/off for many years (a couple of years straight in my early twenties), and now comes and goes (recently about two weeks ago). So specially when with a girl for the first time, I am very anxious about it, as I am afraid that I might not get it up.
Last year, I got involved into some kind of tantra community, which helped a lot in addressing my guilt/shame issues about sex, and also had some amazing sexual adventure with some women I met there, but I am taking some distance from that community because the people there seem to be totally lost in that lifestyle.
Tried to quit several times, sometimes going as far as 6 months, but always fell back
Well, my last try was in December, I didn't watch porn or masturbate from around Dec 10 until few days ago (Jan 8 )...and then it has been hell, several hours almost every day.
Well, I hope it will stuck this time.
Cheers!
O.
Glad to be here!
I won't dwell a lot on my story, just few facts and try to report daily. I think some details will come sooner or later as I blog.
Age: 39, Male, been watching porn since my early teens
History of sexual (incest) and physical abuse as a child
a couple of years of depression during my late twenties, where I deeply dived into porn addiction where I watched porn for 4 hours plus every day, almost dropped out of graduate school. But finally got myself together and finished my phd and currently working as a researcher.
Have been experiencing ED on/off for many years (a couple of years straight in my early twenties), and now comes and goes (recently about two weeks ago). So specially when with a girl for the first time, I am very anxious about it, as I am afraid that I might not get it up.
Last year, I got involved into some kind of tantra community, which helped a lot in addressing my guilt/shame issues about sex, and also had some amazing sexual adventure with some women I met there, but I am taking some distance from that community because the people there seem to be totally lost in that lifestyle.
Tried to quit several times, sometimes going as far as 6 months, but always fell back
Well, my last try was in December, I didn't watch porn or masturbate from around Dec 10 until few days ago (Jan 8 )...and then it has been hell, several hours almost every day.
Well, I hope it will stuck this time.
Cheers!
O.