Hey guys - big hello!
Just wondering where this forum was for last 20 years - I could have used it the whole time!
I'm 38, father of 2 sweetest daughters and the lucky man of a intelligent, loving and considerate woman (we aren't married, but form a normal family for all practical purposes). I've been PMO-ing since about 16 of age, that makes it 22 years now. In the beginning it was soft-porn magazines and then after I moved to the US for 4 years of studies, low-bandwidth pics on the web, video-rentals and in the recent years, high-bandwidth Internet porn - jeez, it's everywhere, and it's cheaper than coke!
There have been highs and lows in that whole time, coupled with if I was with a female-partner or not, and I think the usage of porn peaked in my life in the 20's, and tapered down a bit during the 30's, even more after we had our first daughter.
November just past, we had our 2nd girl. In the run up to the delivery date, I chanced watching a Ted-talk about the ills of porn. I thought 20 minutes weren't enough to cover that topic, but it made an impression on me, and it got me thinking. I have been wanting to quit forever, I suppose for the same reason as everyone else here, and did succeed for periods of a month or two at times. I didn't know at the time that there's this "reboot" movement going on.
Around about end of Oct-14, 1 month before our daughter's arrival, I decided to knock it for good this time. Needless to say, my daughters and partner are my inspiration - I think I can say, these 3 girls complete my life now. There is the regular urge, mostly in the nights, but my brain seems to overpower it pretty well so far.
But things are never that simple, are they..?
Due to the pregnancy, the anatomical condition post-birth and just the stress and work of having an newborn at home, my partner isn't ready to enjoy sex again just yet. That wasn't helping my reboot initiative. Last week, I got to be home alone for a whole week, since the family went to visit the in-laws, the perfect time for the sex-monsters to attack. No, I didn't crack, but after 2+ months of being dry, the tension was maximum.
I had to do something to get it off, before desperation set in, so after about 2 days of contemplating, I decided to pay for sex. I have done it before, exactly 4 times in my sexually active lifetime. I don't really have remorse for it, but do have some moral convictions about the business of prostitution at large.
I'm keen to know what you guys think, but in my view it wasn't a crack. It's different than porn-on-the-screen - it's a real person and real sex, though without the feeling. In all my encounters with prostitutes, I managed to be respectful to the women, equivalent to any other stranger you'd meet in real-life.
So that's my story! Big thank you to all of you for reading, and God bless Gabe Deem for taking up this initiative!
Joe
Just wondering where this forum was for last 20 years - I could have used it the whole time!
I'm 38, father of 2 sweetest daughters and the lucky man of a intelligent, loving and considerate woman (we aren't married, but form a normal family for all practical purposes). I've been PMO-ing since about 16 of age, that makes it 22 years now. In the beginning it was soft-porn magazines and then after I moved to the US for 4 years of studies, low-bandwidth pics on the web, video-rentals and in the recent years, high-bandwidth Internet porn - jeez, it's everywhere, and it's cheaper than coke!
There have been highs and lows in that whole time, coupled with if I was with a female-partner or not, and I think the usage of porn peaked in my life in the 20's, and tapered down a bit during the 30's, even more after we had our first daughter.
November just past, we had our 2nd girl. In the run up to the delivery date, I chanced watching a Ted-talk about the ills of porn. I thought 20 minutes weren't enough to cover that topic, but it made an impression on me, and it got me thinking. I have been wanting to quit forever, I suppose for the same reason as everyone else here, and did succeed for periods of a month or two at times. I didn't know at the time that there's this "reboot" movement going on.
Around about end of Oct-14, 1 month before our daughter's arrival, I decided to knock it for good this time. Needless to say, my daughters and partner are my inspiration - I think I can say, these 3 girls complete my life now. There is the regular urge, mostly in the nights, but my brain seems to overpower it pretty well so far.
But things are never that simple, are they..?
Due to the pregnancy, the anatomical condition post-birth and just the stress and work of having an newborn at home, my partner isn't ready to enjoy sex again just yet. That wasn't helping my reboot initiative. Last week, I got to be home alone for a whole week, since the family went to visit the in-laws, the perfect time for the sex-monsters to attack. No, I didn't crack, but after 2+ months of being dry, the tension was maximum.
I had to do something to get it off, before desperation set in, so after about 2 days of contemplating, I decided to pay for sex. I have done it before, exactly 4 times in my sexually active lifetime. I don't really have remorse for it, but do have some moral convictions about the business of prostitution at large.
I'm keen to know what you guys think, but in my view it wasn't a crack. It's different than porn-on-the-screen - it's a real person and real sex, though without the feeling. In all my encounters with prostitutes, I managed to be respectful to the women, equivalent to any other stranger you'd meet in real-life.
So that's my story! Big thank you to all of you for reading, and God bless Gabe Deem for taking up this initiative!
Joe