Reboot with gf

[hunnofap]

Hi!

My name is David and I'm new here. I've read some topics about rebooting with a girlfriend, but they were totally expressed different options to the reboot, and I can't even find the answer to this question. While I'm living my life without PM, does orgasm during sex or by getting a bj helps the progress or it will just be harder to recover? I have ED but if i feel like I can ejaculate during sex or a bj should I or should I stop my orgasm? Thanks for answering

 

[TheGeek]

I'm rebooting right now with a girlfriend so I will try to help as best I can.

I would start out going hard mode for 30 days at least. No P.M.O at all not at all. It's tough trust me I know I have been through it. If your girlfriend truly wants you to get better she will agree. A big part of it is being honest with her about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

After that first thirty days give sex a try, a lot of people do advocate for doing alternatives and I can't really say how they work as I haven't tried them. One reason it's recommended to avoid Orgasm is because there is a strong chance that the orgasm will cause you to have urges to relapse in the days following that Orgasm. The other problem you can face is that you may end up feeding the fantasies that keep you addicted just to get off during sex. Normal sex is one of the things all of us are striving for, and using it to partially feed the addiction isn't going to help get there.

 

[fugu]

Hi!

My name is David and I'm new here. I've read some topics about rebooting with a girlfriend, but they were totally expressed different options to the reboot, and I can't even find the answer to this question. While I'm living my life without PM, does orgasm during sex or by getting a bj helps the progress or it will just be harder to recover? I have ED but if i feel like I can ejaculate during sex or a bj should I or should I stop my orgasm? Thanks for answering

Hey! So this is kind of a tricky question. The effects of orgasms with partners during a reboot seems to be a little different for everybody. I think most people agree that an initial period of 30+ days without orgasm is highly beneficial for the reboot. Mainly people shoot for 90 days, but that's arbitrary. The point is to give your brain rest. Remember that, as porn addicts, we have been linking orgasms to novelty and screens for a very long time in our brains; the idea is that it can take rest from all orgasms for a little while to improve this.

Now, after going a certain period of days without orgasms with your partner, you should definitely try one and see how it makes you feel! Depending on the extent of your porn history, you may feel like you need more time away from orgasms after this - or maybe you won't! It's truly different for everyone, and you will have to feel out each experience on your own. I'd say the slight majority of people tend to avoid orgasms with a partner until there erections are responding normally...but not everyone! Here is a great success story from a guy who went an initial period of orgasm abstinence and then had lots of orgasms with his partner. He said he didn't think he'd be able to recover without lots of them! I encourage you to read this because it shows how different everyone is: http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=11691.0

 

[hunnofap]

Hey! Thanks for both answers! It's obvious now that I must avoid orgasm for 30days minimum, so I will working on that on the following days. What about sex without orgasm or what if I just lick or finger her, and get really horny? Could it be beneficial, or I should totally avoid these things in the first 1 month of my recovery?

 

[Poker]

Are you able to have sex with you gf?  If yes... No worries.  If there are issues, reboot a period of time abstaining...  Try again with gf?

Every case is different.  You will know they issues when they arise.

Cheers,

P.

 

[hunnofap]

Im nearly able, i have some ed, but my penis can erect quite hard during sex, maybe 80% minimum whilw sex or bj, but if it stops it disapperar almost inmediately. My gf still really likes to have sex with me and she also knows about my problems. I just cant ejaculate or i can but its really hard to achieve...i know its kinda special, thats why i'd like to know if getting an erection and bering stimulated by my girl could have some bad effects on my progress.

Sorry for mistakes, I wrote this from my phone

Have a great day!

 

[George Oh Well]

Just tonight my girlfriend and I were making out until one thing led to another and the next thing you know I'm dry humping her with an erection. Not 100 percent, mind you, but something was there. My point is that I got excited enough to want to O but it wouldn't have been as enjoyable because the erection just isn't fully back yet. For me, I'm going to need at least 30 days before I make a trial run. Test the waters, if you will. But everyone is different.  I always say do what works best for you personally.

 

[simbo67]

Any of you guys have any more info or updates on these posts?  Sounds just like me.  Can get an erection but only like 85%. Can have sex bus diminished sensation and very hard to orgasm.  Been dating this wonderful girl a few months and she loves sex with me. 

 

[CrateDane]

Im nearly able, i have some ed, but my penis can erect quite hard during sex, maybe 80% minimum whilw sex or bj, but if it stops it disapperar almost inmediately. My gf still really likes to have sex with me and she also knows about my problems. I just cant ejaculate or i can but its really hard to achieve...i know its kinda special, thats why i'd like to know if getting an erection and bering stimulated by my girl could have some bad effects on my progress.

Sorry for mistakes, I wrote this from my phone

Have a great day!

Rewiring with a living person is supposedly one of the best tools we have available in overcoming this problem. I definately say go for it.

 

[Gambit123]

so out of curiosity, if one has a gf, they go the full 90 hard mode...don't see the results they want....should they start to orgasm with their gf? does anyone advocate using a little Viagra after the hard 90 mode to help with reintroducing sex (or should you wait longer than 90 days hard mode to try sex when your erections are better?). thoughts?

 

[CrateDane]

I say orgasm with the girlfriend as soon as you can. If Viagra can help you, I say go for it but if you truly suffer from PIED it might very well do nothing for you at all as it is not a physical problem with your penis, it is very much a brain change problem.
On that note, you do not need a 100% erection to have sex, you can probably do it with an 80-85% one.

 

[Gambit123]

Viagra and Cialis work for me, although they are losing their effectiveness. I think they don't work for people who have more severe PIED and cannot get any erection from PIED. For people like me, who can get maybe 50-70% erection, the Viagra / Cialis give the extra "umph" needed for a full erection and help you maintain it instead of it disappearing like typical PIED symptom.

 

[fugu]

Hey! Thanks for both answers! It's obvious now that I must avoid orgasm for 30days minimum, so I will working on that on the following days. What about sex without orgasm or what if I just lick or finger her, and get really horny? Could it be beneficial, or I should totally avoid these things in the first 1 month of my recovery?

That's totally ok as long as you are not "edging" or, like, on the brink of orgasm. Edging can sometimes be orgasm-like if you do it for too long. But fooling around with her and getting horny/erect/aroused isn't a bad thing at all.

 

[fugu]

so out of curiosity, if one has a gf, they go the full 90 hard mode...don't see the results they want....should they start to orgasm with their gf? does anyone advocate using a little Viagra after the hard 90 mode to help with reintroducing sex (or should you wait longer than 90 days hard mode to try sex when your erections are better?). thoughts?

Honestly, this is different for everyone. Some people find that, after an initial period of rest, orgasms with their girlfriend help them rewire and help their erections return. Most of the people that I've seen who experiences this generally started on high speed pornography a little later in their lives (17/18 years old or more). This can work, and I encourage you to try semi regular orgasming (an orgasm every 1 or 2 weeks) to feel out if this is improving your erections. If your erections are getting worse or not improving at all, then it is definitely time to consider more orgasm abstinence and rewiring without orgasms. Don't be discouraged if this is you! I'd say the majority of people find that intermittent orgasm abstinence is their best way to recover.

 

[Gambit123]

Charlie that is interesting what you say. I did soft mode for a month and it seemed to actually cure my ED. I was masterbating 1-2 times per week not to porn, just to thougths of sex with past gfs (I was a 3 - time per day PMOer in the past to deal with stress). I thought I was healed after the one month of soft mode (I was on cloud 9!) then started MOing  a couple times per day and apparently my ED returned and I was back to square 1. Then I started hard mode, no orgasm and it is 46 days and I have only seen little results (if any). I am wondering if occasional orgasms helped me in my softmode. But everything i read says orgasms totally set you back. so I duno. Do you think I should still go full 90 before introducing orgasm with a woman? Do you have any general thoughts on my success during soft mode and little success during hard mode ? 

 

[Gambit123]

I started PMOing heavily around age 21, I am 32 now.

 

[TheGeek]

For me it depends on how long I go between orgasms. Right now I can't do back to back days and still have a good solid erection and an easy orgasm. I haven't figured out how many days exactly, because it's not always the same amount of time between to have a good erection. Vaginal is a whole lot better more often than not things are going great. Oral is getting there up until last week I had never had a blow job that felt good the death grip effect meant blow jobs just weren't that enjoyable.

I can tell pretty quickly if it is going to be a good erection or not, and when it isn't if the girlfriend is already up and going it is very hard to not want to try, but I know the only way I am going to reach orgasm at that point is with my hand, and I don't want to do that.