Reset Frontier

[TDBlack]

I've been at the PMO thing way too long. It's completely messed up my sex drive. I've given myself ED. Can't stay hard when having sex with my wife. I think I've programmed myself to be just below full erection so that I can edge for as long as I want during PMO. Meaning, I only get fully erect when I'm ready to climax.

I managed a hard mode for 30 days near the end of last year. Should have linked in here as I did that. I achieved my goal though, anyway. It didn't fully alleviate the ED though. First time with my wife was fine, but a week later I went soft again. I need to abstain longer, I think.

So that's what I'm doing. I'm also working on my own handwritten journal that is quite salty. Some pieces of that pop up on my tumblr page every now and then.

The two main things I know are:

1. I love my wife and would be quite happy again if we could just have real sex/make love once a week or so.

2. PMO for 20 years or so has stunted my brain in ways I don't even understand; 30 days of abstinence gave me a taste of how it feels to be "normal" -- more focus, more energy, better memory, more relaxed.

One last thing: even though I did the 30-day thing, one aspect of my brain seemed to be worse: my emotions kind of dried up. I should have seen that as evidence that I wasn't out of the woods. It was a kind of non-sexual flatline. I am looking for better results from a 90-day course.  :-\

More later. I feel great, to be honest. No urges.  8)

 

[Pheonix]

Welcome! I highly recommend at least a 90 day reboot. You got a taste of how things could be after 30. They are 10 times better after 90!

 

[TDBlack]

Hey Pheonix, thanks for the affirmation on 90-days. I get it. I'm still totally amazed that I set this goal of 30 days, made it and then just went off and screwed it all up. I'd go into the whole idiot behavior, but I think most everyone knows how dumb we can let ourselves get when our guard is down.

So, yes, 90-days seems like it's the ticket. I just stumbled on a trigger today that's getting a bit interesting. There's a lot of online articles popping up about masturbation and how it's good for you. Or less provocatively, "studies" are getting published about masturbation behavior.

I'm going to guess this is editorial teams sitting around knowing about problems people are having. I'm going to guess, too, that some folks know full well they're supporting the porn industry.

Anyway, I stumbled on that stuff at the end of something I was reading on racism at one of the more well-known e-mags, you know, "What Others Are Reading Today" or something like that.

There's a lot of unwillingness to understand the porn addiction problem out there. And when you read them saying, "Hey, it's not bad for you." etc etc it's easy to go, "Well, yeah, okay, maybe ... hmmm ... I don't know, maybe I'm just really confused..."

Not going there though. I breathe deep, envision getting my erections back, and focusing on making love to with my wife again someday soon the way it used to be.