'Rejection Therapy'... Moving beyond our comfort and into life.

indiana

indiana

Member
Rejection, that cold feeling that makes you want to run back home and hide under the covers.

I started having a hard time with rejection around the same time I got involved with PMO and it compounded over the coming years. At the worst times, I had no friends, only a few people to call, I had nowhere to go. I had isolated from the world and just stayed in my 'hole'. A few years back, I started forcing myself to interact socially, I couldn't take living so disconnected so I would put myself out there. I would invite folks out to lunch or a cup of coffee, go to public places, f someone asked me to get together I'd say yes, etc.. I was trying to heal my life, I still didn't get the addiction aspect behind all this and carried so much shame everywhere I went.

Cut to this morning. I woke up, browsed around on facebook, ad came across this NPR article on 'Rejection Therapy'. It's a great listen, only five minutes long, and may be a lot of help to everyone on here. Basically it's about a guy who got divorced, stopped socially interacting, then found a way to overcome his fear of rejection and how he regained his social connections.

I hope it helps! let me know what y'all think.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2015/01/16/377239011/by-making-a-game-out-of-rejection-a-man-conquers-fear?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150116
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Thanks for sharing!
It just goes to show that each of us can find our own way to deal with our problems. If we can modify methods to overcome porn addiction to suit ourselves, then a more thorough recovery can be attained. This video has a creative way of beating your demons (no pun).

Fapster
 
indiana

indiana

Member
Right on! I'm really glad you guys dug it.

Last night I went out to watch some family play music. I always get wicked anxiety at this place, it reminds me of how shitty the past was and how under accomplished I feel. Being with family I have to do the spiel of what I'm doing and not doing with my life and a lot of these folks knew me when I was younger and in a very hard time, drinking a lot, depressed. All of this was because of PMO addiction but obviously none of them would know that.

Anyway.. I went purposefully to confront that anxiety, and when it came I welcomed it in and sat with it. The night overall was slow but by the end of it I had a great hour long conversation with a very very cool older guy. It was a highlight.

Have you tried confronting things like this in your lives?


All the best,
Indiana.
 
qrayzHD

qrayzHD

Active Member
Nice work  ;) A couple of weeks ago i went to a 60th bday party and at first i chose to sit at a table on my own and avoid socializing, but then a woman there asked me why i don't go over and sit with people my own age, so i was like you know what, fk it. I walked over to the table, sat down and introduced myself, and it turns out that we all had things in common and i really enjoyed socializing after all  :) That may not seem like much to some people but for someone like me with social anxiety, it was huge.
 
indiana

indiana

Member
I think you can start by just putting yourself into situations that will cause some anxiety and facing it. Start where you are, if going to a coffee shop would be rough, go there, if hanging out with a few friends and having a beer would be tough, do that.

This afternoon I'll be seeing an old friend. I got a big surge of anxiety thinking about it, but now I'm looking forward to the experience. If I get anxious then it'll be a growing process, if I don't then it will just be a good time. Either way it's beneficial.

I think the idea is kind of like stretching. We're so tight, from years of addiction etc... that it's like socially moving again, more that that.

It's like stretching back into life.

Thanks for bringing this back up, I needed it.
Indiana.
 
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