Am I lying to myself (again)?

[Perseverance]

I'm eleven days into my Reboot but have a few questions.

Question One:

?I have M a few times, but not O, does that mean I have failed my reboot and need to start the count over again??

I?ve very quickly started getting morning wood again. It had only recently begun to drop off after a year of solid PMOing. I?ve been battling with PMO for years, but this last relapse has just been a solid yearlong binge.

But here?s the thing. For a few moments on a number of mornings I have M. I didn?t O and I didn?t think thoughts about P, but focused upon thinking about a girl that I am dating. This morning was the worst. I M for about two minutes. I did not come close to O though.

Does the fact that I have touched myself mean that I?ve failed my hard reboot and need to set my day count to 0? Or, if I stop M for even a short time from here in, does that mean I don?t need to turn back the clock?

Question Two:

Me and the girl I am dating are currently living at opposite ends of the country from each other, only meeting up every month or so. Every evening we Skype.

Is Skyping with her a bad thing? It?s the only way we can communicate as its free and we both have phone setups that cost money.

Does the fact I am Skyping with her invalidate my Reboot, as even though I know there?s another person at the end of the line, what I?m really talking to and thinking looks beautiful are pixels, and my brain

Question Three:

Me and her will be meeting up next week. Will O with her mean I haven?t done the hard 90?

Sorry if these questions are common ones, I?m just anxious that my fresh start hasn?t quite been as fresh I was making myself balieve?

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ Perseverance 

I have M a few times, but not O, does that mean I have failed my reboot and need to start the count over again?

I answer this question partially in my video here

But no. You do not have to reset your counter. A relapse is only when you intentionally watch porn.

Does the fact that I have touched myself mean that I?ve failed my hard reboot and need to set my day count to 0? Or, if I stop M for even a short time from here in, does that mean I don?t need to turn back the clock?

No. You do not need to restart your counter. Keep going and keep avoiding porn. For more on whether or not to masturbate read this post - Basics of Rebooting - Should you masturbate?

Me and the girl I am dating are currently living at opposite ends of the country from each other, only meeting up every month or so. Every evening we Skype.

Is Skyping with her a bad thing? It?s the only way we can communicate as its free and we both have phone setups that cost money.

Does the fact I am Skyping with her invalidate my Reboot, as even though I know there?s another person at the end of the line, what I?m really talking to and thinking looks beautiful are pixels, and my brain

This should be fine, as long as you are not using the skype convo as a way to become sexually aroused. Avoid sexual behavior while chatting with her over Skype. You want to avoid training your brain to become aroused by pixels, simply talking to her won't do this.

Me and her will be meeting up next week. Will O with her mean I haven?t done the hard 90?

The hard 90 is a made up time frame and is an arbitrary number. Many young guys need much longer than that to recover. It is a good starting goal though, but if you are feeling great and functioning normal, meaning, if you are not having any erection problems at all, then having an O is up to you and I wouldn't worry so much about the hardmode.

With that said, if you are having any kind of trouble staying erect, then I'd advise you to avoid orgasm for a few more weeks/months as it has proven to be very beneficial for young rebooeters with porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Karezza would be very beneficial at this point. On the flip side, some guys report that an orgasm jump starts their libido after being in a long flatline.

Now, by definition you would no longer have been "hard-mode" because you had an intentional orgasm, but the goal of rebooting is regaining sexual function, not seeing how long you can avoid orgasm. So... it's up to you. But just remember their is nothing magic about 90 days.... what matters is avoiding artificial stimulation and spending time with real people.

Hope that helps. Much Love

 

[Perseverance]

Thanks for the quick response

And wow, that?s really put my worries to wrest.  I?m getting allot of anxiety at the moment, so again, thank you for taking the time out to help. And, whilst we?re here, thank you for setting up this entire forum

I am having problems with ED, have done all through my 20s, and the problems with my current girl are one of the reasons why I?m determined to get control back in my life. This is also the last hurdle in a long journey to recovery from a host of addictions and I?m determined to beat it.

I think the O situation with my girl all boils down to the ?Do I tell her question?? Only I can answer that though, so I need to sit and meditate on this longer.

Also, thank you for the reminder that catchy phrases like ?90 day hard mode? are just that ? catchy phrases. I need to stay attuned to my own body?s rhythms and learn to trust in myself again.

Thank you for the words of wisdom Gabe, you?re a star for running this forum.  Much love to you bro