Vincent
Active Member
I know, this topic might not be the one everybody wants to talk about. Hell, I don't like to talk about it. But at some point on our journeys we also need to face our hardest times, our deepest low.
Please be aware that this below story might contain some triggers
My craziest binge - ever - was during a summer day. My Girlfriend was gone for scientific research over a period of 3 month. I had nothing to do, being in my first master semester, and was watching all kinds of TV shows, drank lots of beer and had a party every day. It was a simple student life and porn was my daily companion. But this one day was different. I don't know what happened or what triggered it. I had to do some stuff for Uni and was researching. Suddenly something triggered the hell out of me. The curious thing: it was 11 am. Well, so I had the urge to see my favourite P-Star in a certain scene. I searched for this scene - way too long like 30 minutes - until i finally found it. I watched it and finished. 11:30 #1. Feeling refreshed I started working again for like 20 minutes, when the Chaser effect suddenly hit me - hard! I watched the same scene again. Bam: 12:00 #2.
It was strange but not unusual for me to do it twice a day. So I didn't think any further and went on with my research. But I could not concentrate on anything other than that scene any more. So I watched It again and again - while edging. And then I reached the point where I lost myself. I started to search everywhere for a more perfect scene of that actress, I watched every video I could fing. And suddenly It was 3 p.m. and I had been edging for 3 hours
That was crazy, I thought. I went to take a shower and ate something. Back at my PC I watched a Movie. And the movie had barely begun, when the urges hit me the hardest of this day. I paused the movie and went on an odysse of porn, any porn, anything I could find. I soaked it up, all the flicks and everything, multiple tabs open. And I PMOed at least 3 more times. When I realised that it was dark outside, I took a look at my watch: fucking 10 pm. What the hell happened there???? ???
#3,4,5.....
To conclude it I went to bed...feeling reeeeeallly awkward. The next day I wrote it down in my diary (yes, I have one....) because It was so crazy of an experience. I never was so perplex in my life as I was in this moment. I totally had lost all control over it and with it a big part of respect for myself. Personally, I think this was the start of me considering porn dangerous, my "zero" experience.
I know this is awful to talk about. But while writing this I burst out in laughter many times. Not only because I foud it funny....hell I just immagined myself there like the craziest dude ever schlingelingdonging like a maniac.....but because I also found it tremendously pathetic.
I figured, If we can laugh about ourselves during these challenges, it would be best to share that laughter with others.
Or what do you guys think?
Please be aware that this below story might contain some triggers
My craziest binge - ever - was during a summer day. My Girlfriend was gone for scientific research over a period of 3 month. I had nothing to do, being in my first master semester, and was watching all kinds of TV shows, drank lots of beer and had a party every day. It was a simple student life and porn was my daily companion. But this one day was different. I don't know what happened or what triggered it. I had to do some stuff for Uni and was researching. Suddenly something triggered the hell out of me. The curious thing: it was 11 am. Well, so I had the urge to see my favourite P-Star in a certain scene. I searched for this scene - way too long like 30 minutes - until i finally found it. I watched it and finished. 11:30 #1. Feeling refreshed I started working again for like 20 minutes, when the Chaser effect suddenly hit me - hard! I watched the same scene again. Bam: 12:00 #2.
It was strange but not unusual for me to do it twice a day. So I didn't think any further and went on with my research. But I could not concentrate on anything other than that scene any more. So I watched It again and again - while edging. And then I reached the point where I lost myself. I started to search everywhere for a more perfect scene of that actress, I watched every video I could fing. And suddenly It was 3 p.m. and I had been edging for 3 hours
That was crazy, I thought. I went to take a shower and ate something. Back at my PC I watched a Movie. And the movie had barely begun, when the urges hit me the hardest of this day. I paused the movie and went on an odysse of porn, any porn, anything I could find. I soaked it up, all the flicks and everything, multiple tabs open. And I PMOed at least 3 more times. When I realised that it was dark outside, I took a look at my watch: fucking 10 pm. What the hell happened there???? ???
#3,4,5.....
To conclude it I went to bed...feeling reeeeeallly awkward. The next day I wrote it down in my diary (yes, I have one....) because It was so crazy of an experience. I never was so perplex in my life as I was in this moment. I totally had lost all control over it and with it a big part of respect for myself. Personally, I think this was the start of me considering porn dangerous, my "zero" experience.
I know this is awful to talk about. But while writing this I burst out in laughter many times. Not only because I foud it funny....hell I just immagined myself there like the craziest dude ever schlingelingdonging like a maniac.....but because I also found it tremendously pathetic.
I figured, If we can laugh about ourselves during these challenges, it would be best to share that laughter with others.
Or what do you guys think?
