time to kick this

[troyS]

hello everyone,
I am 33 years old and have been using porn since my early 20s
I went through stages where it was rather heavy then faded off (but never away) then back to being heavy
my taste in porn has went from "regular" to more intense stuff on my scale of things

I think like most males porno was just a normal for me, but to add on to my heavy usage I had/have a poor self image
and the idea of meeting a girl I would have intimate relationships was very unlikely so porno was my substitute

now in my 30s I have come to realize that I am capable of relationships with amazing people
but my mind always wanders back to porno,
I am not sure if I suffered from porno induced ED or performance anxiety in my current relationship as my previous relationship getting/maintaining an erection was never an issue (as is with porno)

I just started my reboot and hope to use the knowledge this forum provides

 

[Pd38]

I suggest you start a counter. It's a great way to visualize your progress!  I know it has helped me.

Just because you didn't have PIED does not mean you weren't affected.  PIED in my case happened so gradually at first that I didn't realize it was happening. Then one day it was a nightmare I couldnt wake up from. I'm glad to say I'm better now. Completely healed?  Only time will tell.

Just like you my tastes escalated. I wondered who I was and why I found these things arousing. Luckily I didn't get too strange, but strange enough to worry me.

We are conditioned to think porn is normal for men, but it's not. It's being marketed as normal behavior and something we might as well enjoy or give in to. But you are in control, you can say no.

 

[troyS]

true, I think as a kid males are conditioned to 'lust' after the female body
I remember to this day how that started for me.
and now with the internet/smartphones its like a constant wave

and like you my taste altered over time and most often when I was feeling depressed about things
thanks for the counter suggestion, I just figured that part out

these first few days have been a challenge for sure
I find myself at both ends at times my mind is clear / porn free then I get urges

 

[ImInControl]

pd38, props for helping others out man!..
hey troys welcome man..  you can do it!! keep up the good work. We all started same place.

 

[troyS]

what ignited this realization that porno is a negative thing in my life
is my current gf,she is everything I have ever wanted
and maybe the second or third time we were together I wasnt able to maintain an erection

since then I looked at porno usage and realized it was an addiction and havent used porn for
9 days (or more)
this morning she was laying in bed with me, and we started kissing and fondling
I got a strong erection then it went away, I was of course embarrassed we talked for a bit she assured me it was ok and knew I was dealing with some demons

after some talking I felt better, and like magic my erection came back and I felt like a young kid
we had sex for 2 hrs (no kidding) the entire time my mind was focused on her rather then drifting in porno scenes like I have in the pass.
writing  this stuff down is a great form of self therapy and the help so far has been great