Since I quit PMO, my life started to change. Every week I discover new things. I'm more alive, more connected to myself and others. Well.
I did important progress in terms of recovering and most importantly, I really taking hold of my life.
I think that many people read my previous posts. I said I would never return to porn. Yesterday I risked a miserable relapse. I was not going to O or M for too long, but, I was about to watch porn. I just went to the bathroom, and read articles about porn addiction. I was really about to watch it, and after 15 minutes or so, I said: What the fuck is happening with me?
As if I was possessed by a porn demon.
It's an interesting victory for me. I usually relapse under such conditions: Staying alone for several days, not working out for about 4 or 5 days, sleeping deprivation, bad mood and son on. But, it's stupid to rush to porn (or any other addictive substance or behavior).
But wait, you know what I did? I was about to sleep to feel less pain. I don't sleep a lot, so, I knew I'm gonna wake-up at 3 PM, and go back to sleep when the day starts, and do nothing in my day and so on....
I got up from my bed, and I did 60 squats, 50 push-ups, 40 reps for my abs, 30 reps for my back, and many bent-over rows with my heavy bag. I showered, and read another articles on porn addiction, then, I got back to my journal (i recommend highly journaling, not for your addiction, but for your whole life), I got back to meditation, I planned my day, visualized it clearly and slept satisfied. Getting over this weak moment is a precious lesson for me.
On the side of sexuality, I still have a long way to go, but there are improvements. I thought that Masturbating to touch, edging without porn would help. It helped a little bit, but, I recommend not touching your penis more than 1 minute a day, and, leaving it recover. I have a severe premature ejaculation. I think I will do kegels, reverse kegels, and working out of my abs and inner thighs. Getting strong there helps. I'm also determined to get back to my meditation routine, and, I will (surely) consider at least 30 or 40 minutes a day for relaxation and meditation.
I also started tracking my calories with an app that syncs data in my phone and computer. It HELPS A LOT! I was eating more than needed. Even though I workout, I gained some fat. I bought a food scale and a scale that measures my weight, body fat and muscles. I will monitor my progress. I also changed my workout routine. I was working out a little bit all my body in one session. I will now on target two major muscles group in one session. And, I will include sprinting and jogging once a week. I'm working on building a "perfect" schedule for my life, that syncs also between my phone and PC, and that I respect. I also rearranged my whole room, many times. I kept only what I needed, and everything is in a good order. If i want something, I get it in 10 seconds. i did too many changes, and I'm working on builiding routines, for example, 3 hours of work a day at least, a fixed diet time, etc.... Building habits is very good. I make less choices, and, my willpower muscle is not exhausted, while staying productive.
The best thing i earned from the last night is that I can schedule all my day, than, visualize it for 15-20 minutes while relaxed. 15 minutes to succeed your day, be productive and efficient. I needed more direction in my life.
I recommend watching/reading success stories and resources. If you don't do, keep in minde that you're more likely to fail in your journey. It's a long one.
Just watch this video of a recovering addict:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXtEcQGLWW8&list=PLAQri18RcEpTV1WBNaCIevt1Bb40GwN-w#t=1044
I did important progress in terms of recovering and most importantly, I really taking hold of my life.
I think that many people read my previous posts. I said I would never return to porn. Yesterday I risked a miserable relapse. I was not going to O or M for too long, but, I was about to watch porn. I just went to the bathroom, and read articles about porn addiction. I was really about to watch it, and after 15 minutes or so, I said: What the fuck is happening with me?
As if I was possessed by a porn demon.
It's an interesting victory for me. I usually relapse under such conditions: Staying alone for several days, not working out for about 4 or 5 days, sleeping deprivation, bad mood and son on. But, it's stupid to rush to porn (or any other addictive substance or behavior).
But wait, you know what I did? I was about to sleep to feel less pain. I don't sleep a lot, so, I knew I'm gonna wake-up at 3 PM, and go back to sleep when the day starts, and do nothing in my day and so on....
I got up from my bed, and I did 60 squats, 50 push-ups, 40 reps for my abs, 30 reps for my back, and many bent-over rows with my heavy bag. I showered, and read another articles on porn addiction, then, I got back to my journal (i recommend highly journaling, not for your addiction, but for your whole life), I got back to meditation, I planned my day, visualized it clearly and slept satisfied. Getting over this weak moment is a precious lesson for me.
On the side of sexuality, I still have a long way to go, but there are improvements. I thought that Masturbating to touch, edging without porn would help. It helped a little bit, but, I recommend not touching your penis more than 1 minute a day, and, leaving it recover. I have a severe premature ejaculation. I think I will do kegels, reverse kegels, and working out of my abs and inner thighs. Getting strong there helps. I'm also determined to get back to my meditation routine, and, I will (surely) consider at least 30 or 40 minutes a day for relaxation and meditation.
I also started tracking my calories with an app that syncs data in my phone and computer. It HELPS A LOT! I was eating more than needed. Even though I workout, I gained some fat. I bought a food scale and a scale that measures my weight, body fat and muscles. I will monitor my progress. I also changed my workout routine. I was working out a little bit all my body in one session. I will now on target two major muscles group in one session. And, I will include sprinting and jogging once a week. I'm working on building a "perfect" schedule for my life, that syncs also between my phone and PC, and that I respect. I also rearranged my whole room, many times. I kept only what I needed, and everything is in a good order. If i want something, I get it in 10 seconds. i did too many changes, and I'm working on builiding routines, for example, 3 hours of work a day at least, a fixed diet time, etc.... Building habits is very good. I make less choices, and, my willpower muscle is not exhausted, while staying productive.
The best thing i earned from the last night is that I can schedule all my day, than, visualize it for 15-20 minutes while relaxed. 15 minutes to succeed your day, be productive and efficient. I needed more direction in my life.
You may wonder why the heck this guy is talking about his life.
Just know that I'm not talkative. I share my progress and battle to inspire new comers, they need serious help and direction. They think that it's all about staying without porn and masturbation, and everything will be okay.
Life is a mess, it's more complicated than it my sound.
Another reason I'm talking about all of this: Coming to this forum is [size=36pt]IMPORTANT[/size].
It's like an accountability partner. It's a constant reminder. I externalize my progress, and, while writing, I learn my lessons once and for all. A surplus is the interaction of other members
Just know that I'm not talkative. I share my progress and battle to inspire new comers, they need serious help and direction. They think that it's all about staying without porn and masturbation, and everything will be okay.
Life is a mess, it's more complicated than it my sound.
Another reason I'm talking about all of this: Coming to this forum is [size=36pt]IMPORTANT[/size].
It's like an accountability partner. It's a constant reminder. I externalize my progress, and, while writing, I learn my lessons once and for all. A surplus is the interaction of other members
I recommend watching/reading success stories and resources. If you don't do, keep in minde that you're more likely to fail in your journey. It's a long one.
Just watch this video of a recovering addict:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXtEcQGLWW8&list=PLAQri18RcEpTV1WBNaCIevt1Bb40GwN-w#t=1044
