The first step of the rest of my life

N

Never_again

Member
Ok I beated the 10 days mark, but I did MO yesterday...

Not watching porn is still the most important goal to me, so I did not reseted my counter, I simply put up a new one tracking M, MO or edging.

From now on I'll will do my best to avoid everything that could interfere with my reboot :
Porn
Masturbation (with or without orgasm)
Edging
Fantasizing

How I feel after ten days without porn?

So much better.. Although I'm a bit depressed at the moment, I'm starting to experience emotions the way I used to feel them a long time ago, it's like I'm getting back my ability to feel positive emotions like love, sexual attraction, joy, happiness.. I'm feeling more alive! Cold showers are really helping me fall asleep much quicker, the evening being the time at which I usually have the most cravings for porn, I can say without a doubt that it prevented me from PMO many many times.

This time I'm a lot more confident in my chances to beat the 30 days mark. Actually, I feel like I'm able to go without porn for a long time, if not for ever :) ...
 
N

Never_again

Member
12 days and feeling depressed... I'm having some issues with my job and it's killing my mood..

I'm craving for PMO right now as I'm typing this.. It sound crazy when reading the post I wrote right above this message...

Any comforting words/advices for me guys?
 
jnv

jnv

Well-Known Member
Hey dude, do not give in now! You are doing a really nice job with your actual streak and as you described in your previous post, you were feeling REALLY good after 10 days.
Keep this in mind, when rebooting/rewiring, the journey is an alternation of good and bad days, it is not linear. You had 10 nice days and today is a bad one, tomorrow will maybe be a bad one as well but after this, good days will be back again! Do not listen to your brain rationalizing why you should PMO right now! It is trying to trick you into giving him his dopamine shot, tell it to stfu!
This is the natural path in the healing process. Buck up dude!
 
N

Never_again

Member
jnv said:
Hey dude, do not give in now! You are doing a really nice job with your actual streak and as you described in your previous post, you were feeling REALLY good after 10 days.
Keep this in mind, when rebooting/rewiring, the journey is an alternation of good and bad days, it is not linear. You had 10 nice days and today is a bad one, tomorrow will maybe be a bad one as well but after this, good days will be back again! Do not listen to your brain rationalizing why you should PMO right now! It is trying to trick you into giving him his dopamine shot, tell it to stfu!
This is the natural path in the healing process. Buck up dude!
Click to expand...
Thanks a lot for your message! It's really helping.

And you're are completely right, a reboot seems like a rollercoaster of emotion, you go from highly depressed to extremely happy over the course of a day.

To this day, I still haven't PMO (yeaaaaah!) and I feel good today, in peace. I just had my daily freezing cold shower and I feel energised and relax at the same time : great feeling!

I had some urges a few days ago (big ones) but today I'm fine, and BTW today it's my birthday!
My ultimate goal is to avoid M, P, or PMO until I turn 25 in 365 days :p

I'll do it!

 
N

Never_again

Member
Day 18 today!

I feel like I can have a soft spot for girls the same way an teenager would, I can fell in love, feel sexually attracted by girls in the street, have boners without any valuable reason, I also appreciate  physical contact much more than before.

For those of you who have relapsed many times, and if you are reading this right now, let me tell you something : a reboot well worth the effort. Even when not yet finished. Because I know I'm far far away from being "healed" but still... feeling you are getting happier each day, seeing the obvious positive changes, feeling like you're making progress and you are becoming a better, more fulfilled person,etc... Next to that, watching two person having sex on a computer screen, it just doesn't stand a chance, the choice is more than obvious.

So don't follow the most walked path, watching porn is easy and you're are probably only a few clicks away from a video, but the reward of a reboot is just too big to be passed up. Life is short, and I don't think you wanna remember your youth as memories of yourself watching countless porn movies. If I could go back a few years in the past, I would kick myself in the backside so hard for wasting my very precious time... How dumb I was... I feel like a part of my youth slipped through my fingers because of porn.


Seriously guys, don't give up !

I know you can be strong, and YOU know you're better than this.

I'll be back soon with more news ;)
 
N

Never_again

Member
23 days today.

The emotional rollercoaster is an everyday issue but I can tell you I'm feeling much better than when I was PMO'ing regularly. Something I'm particularly proud of is that I do not use any website blockers and I didn't really change my environment, if I wanted to go to a porn site, It would only take 5 seconds. So this reboot is all based on my will power. However, by doing that, I'm playing with fire a little bit. That's something I should work on.

Positive changes related to my reboot so far have been :
_Less social anxiety
_Slighty deeper voice
_Sentimental emotions are getting back to the way they were when I was a teen (i.e. feeling physically attracted to girl in the street, having that weird feeling in my stomach whenever I really like a girl, having a soft spot for a girl,etc...)
_More energy
_Better sleep
_I think I did loose some fat and bulk up a little bit
_Less stress
_I speak a lot more freely in social context (at work with my workmates, witht strangers at parties) whereas I'm usually very quiet and shy, and I keep eye contact more often.
_Less depressed
_Morning woods are back (athough not as good as before) and I get turned on just thinking about having sex with a pretty girl, something that hasn't happens for years! Usually only watching porn would gave me erections




 
N

Never_again

Member
Ok I'm really close to fall off the train right now.

I MO'd multiple times during the last couple of days. I'm just way too horny and full of testosterone (or some others related hormones) that I could fuck just about anything with two legs and a vagina.

I was in a super mood those last weeks, but now the pressure is becoming increasingly hard, I don't even know if I gonna make it to the 30 days...

I'm definitely through the toughest days of my reboot (so far...)

I almost relapsed a few hours ago when I came across the link of a porn video (one of my favorite of all time) which was bookmarked... To resist the urges I had to go do some cooking and cleaning in the house, and it worked, thanks god..

For those who have been going for longer than me without PMO, does it get better after a while? Even slightly? Because right now, I'm in HELL...

Everytime I see a pretty girl, I have this burst of energy in my body, it makes me shivers with excitment, and I soon as I start imagining having sex with a girl, I get a boner quite quickly. I fell asleep with a rock hard erection and wake up the same way. I just turned on all the time, it's killing me.. and masturbation doesn't really lessen those pulsions...

Am I going to PMO tonight? Tomorrow? In 1 week? Right now I would answer yes to all of this questions... That's how bad I'm feeling...

Good luck for those going through the same shit as me..
 
N

Never_again

Member
30 days!



I've made it!

30 days without watching any porn video at all.. I went through every kind of mood and state : angry, sad, depressed, happy, motivated, horny as hell, having no desire at all, ready to give up, feeling like superman,etc... But I've made it, 30 days without porn.

How did I suceed?
First of all, I did relapse many many times, I was ready to give up for good more than I can remember. That's the first thing you should know : very few people suceed the very first time they try a reboot.

I thought many times "It's impossible, I can't do it" "it's too hard" "what's the point anyway? I'm not even sure it's gonna work for me". I started going above the 10 days mark when I forgot about all of these shitty excuses and focus on what was really good for me. PMO has taken many years of potential happiness and fulfilling relationship with beautiful girls, I missed out so many opportunities because of porn , I've stayed locked in my room and didn't enjoy my life as much as I should have. Let's do a little calculation :

I masturbated 1-5 times a day, almost every day since I'm 17, for about 20 minutes every time.

I'm 24 now, so that means 7 years =1778 days x 20 minutes a day is about 35560 minutes in 7 years,(~592 hours or ~25 days) .

5x20 minutes a day  about 8890 sessions, 177800 minutes or 2963 hours or 123 days

So I know I've spent between 25 to 123 days of my life masturbating alone in my bedroom... how sad is that? 123 days... That's almost 6 months!

This reason alone should be enough for anybody to give up porn for good. Life is short, way too short and you don't wanna spend your time alone, masturbating in front of a video of two people having sex do you?

Think about this right now...

Knowing that definitely helped me adopt a completely different mindset regarding the reboot and helped me tremendously through it.

The third advice I would give is get help : get an accountability partner, talk about your addiction to your best friends, girlfriends. I can tell for sure it's the thing that helped me go through this reboot without relapsing.

Get busy! go out, do activities, learn languages, instruments, just do something.


I don't really know what else to say, just read my journal if you wanna know more
 
N

Never_again

Member
After many relapses I'm back on track but this time will be different as I'm going to give myself a real chance to quit porn for good. So here are the things I'm going to do :
Get at least two accountabilities partners and keep in touch through e-mail
Find a good website blocker (I'm open to suggestions)
Get busy! find activities, go out more often.
Get educated on porn addiction
Post here as often as possible (on my journal and others people journal's)
Read my journal to remind me of all the benefits I experimented during my numerous previous attemps to reboot

More to come very soon!
 
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