Hi everyone , this is my first post on reboot nation. Let me start off by saying that porn has never really been my poison. I have usually just used my imagination.
So, to my dilemma. Ever since i was little 5 or 6 i have been getting erections, by the time i reached 10 i was already masturbating almost everyday(nothing was coming out though). Ever since i was 18 the frequency has jumped to 2-3 times a day. I know the real way to masturbate but my mind and body did not figure this out. When i was starting off i just kinda of humped the bed/pillow until i got off. Sadly this is the addictive habit I am still relying on to get me through days of loneliness. :'(
I am now 27 and have never really been in any real relationships. I'm not a virgin and have been with 5 or 6 partners. Everytime i've had sex i haven't been able to get it up except when i'm pretty intoxicated or getting blow jobs. I remember being a confident person when i was younger but i think all that went away by the time I was 14 or so. I'm lethargic all day and never have motivation to better myself.
I have tried to quit once before and I made it to 2 weeks but then relapsed horribly and got unmotivated again. The whole time i was abstaining seemed like one long flatline. I never had one erection and this is very disheartening. I'm scared if i quit that i will lose the little bit of libido i have left.
Veterans please give me any words of wisdom because I am so tired of this life. So tired of the self imposed shame. And sick of feeling like i'm not a masculine enough role model for my nephews. :'(
So, to my dilemma. Ever since i was little 5 or 6 i have been getting erections, by the time i reached 10 i was already masturbating almost everyday(nothing was coming out though). Ever since i was 18 the frequency has jumped to 2-3 times a day. I know the real way to masturbate but my mind and body did not figure this out. When i was starting off i just kinda of humped the bed/pillow until i got off. Sadly this is the addictive habit I am still relying on to get me through days of loneliness. :'(
I am now 27 and have never really been in any real relationships. I'm not a virgin and have been with 5 or 6 partners. Everytime i've had sex i haven't been able to get it up except when i'm pretty intoxicated or getting blow jobs. I remember being a confident person when i was younger but i think all that went away by the time I was 14 or so. I'm lethargic all day and never have motivation to better myself.
I have tried to quit once before and I made it to 2 weeks but then relapsed horribly and got unmotivated again. The whole time i was abstaining seemed like one long flatline. I never had one erection and this is very disheartening. I'm scared if i quit that i will lose the little bit of libido i have left.
Veterans please give me any words of wisdom because I am so tired of this life. So tired of the self imposed shame. And sick of feeling like i'm not a masculine enough role model for my nephews. :'(