non linearness of recovery

[Gambit123]

I have seen numerous posts about recovery being non-linear. I am starting to see that during my reboot particularly with flatlines and intense sexual urges depending on the day after my 45 daysih flatline. I am not on day 75 of hardmode after doing 1 month softmode .So porn free 3.5 moonths and hardmode for 2.5 months. I have not been perfect as i prob test a little bit too much and sometimes i cant keep fantasy out of my mind, but i started seeing noticeable improvments around day 50ish - harder and longer lasting erecttion and bigger D (wohoo).

No it seems i have taken a small step back. Not as much MW and my erections dont seem quite as strong as a couple weeks ago. ONe dya this last week it just felt dead too (mini flatline) then another day i had to be careful how i walked as i thought i might ejaculate with an unerect penis!

I guess my question is this: when people say non-linearness of recovery, does that pertain to erection quality and urges? as in one week rock hard erections, next week nothing, etc? Anyone want to chime in on the non-linearness of their recovery?

I can't believe i started this journey to cure my PIED 3.5 months ago. Even if i need another 3.5 months i am determined.

Hope everyone is staying strong and hope everyone gets a good re-wiring session on Vday

 

[Chaos Mind]

Just wanted to throw in that there is hardly any process in nature which is linear. Anything linear, like straight lines for example, are always man-made. And we often forget that for sexual problems (which are also natural) you can't just set a 90-days mark and expect all issues to decrease by factor X from day to day until that milestone. That's just not how it works. Yes, it can even get worse. And it can stay worse for quite a long time, depending mostly on the state of mind. Basically we emphasize any development we focus on. So as long as something gets better, it does so at more rapid speed. And when it turns to the opposite, we accelerate that process too by focussing too much on it.

As long as people keep a record of all improvements and setbacks they will keep expecting to find some kind of logic. "Last week I had morning wood 4 times. The week before I had it 5 times. Snap! Does that mean this week it's only going to be 3 times!?" Stop looking under the blanket first thing in the morning. Lose track of what's happening...release some stress and preasure, because forcing something is never going to work for anything in the sexual context. That is my opinion...

 

[fugu]

To give you a sense of the non-linear nature of recovery, check out this chart a guy created about his mood during his reboot! Keep in mind that this guy was one of the first rebooters, so his reboot (lucky bastard) only took 2-3 months to complete.

I think this sort of erratic pattern accurately explains how a reboot progresses. Up and down, up and down...but with a slow, general trend towards recovery, success and balance. Hope this helps!

 

[Chaos Mind]

Sorry CM, I just couldn't resist. The scientist in me had to do this...I calculated a linear regression on the provided data set. This is the result:

As visualized, the general mood is getting better indeed. The coefficient of determination is pretty low, indicating great deviations between the linear model and the actual mood as assessed by the user - thus supporting the theory of a non-linear recovery.

(Could have also gone to work today if I'm doing the exact same stuff anyway only on different data...)

 

[fugu]

Sorry CM, I just couldn't resist. The scientist in me had to do this...I calculated a linear regression on the provided data set. This is the result:

As visualized, the general mood is getting better indeed. The coefficient of determination is pretty low, indicating great deviations between the linear model and the actual mood as assessed by the user - thus supporting the theory of a non-linear recovery.

(Could have also gone to work today if I'm doing the exact same stuff anyway only on different data...)

LOL! This is great! So glad you did that, haha. I love graphs and charts as well, so that is fun (and interesting) to see.

 

[Kubrick]

Sorry CM, I just couldn't resist. The scientist in me had to do this...I calculated a linear regression on the provided data set. This is the result:

As visualized, the general mood is getting better indeed. The coefficient of determination is pretty low, indicating great deviations between the linear model and the actual mood as assessed by the user - thus supporting the theory of a non-linear recovery.

(Could have also gone to work today if I'm doing the exact same stuff anyway only on different data...)

HAHAHHA, This is great!

 

[Gambit123]

but this goes to mood, not erection quality right?

 

[Maxime]

I'm not sure measuring erection quality is a good idea, as it forces you to get yourself erect and just that simple fact, I think, would mess up the results. I'd be scared to relapse, too, but that might just be me.
When I decided to try out the hard mode, I also decided I'm doing my own thing (my head) and my penis can just do whatever it likes . Not monitoring it whatsoever!

 

[fugu]

but this goes to mood, not erection quality right?

That's true, but these things are (in my experience and from reading other accounts) pretty related. I know that in the case of this guy, they were very much related. I think if it was possible to do a completely accurate erection chart, it probably would look a lot like this. Maxime is right, it's just too risky for someone's reboot to try and get an erection to test everyday.

 

[Gambit123]

can testing erections too frequently derail a reboot? maybe that is slowing my progress. I have def seen some noticeable progress but testing every other day or so may be slowing me down.

 

[Chaos Mind]

Testing something always has an influence on the development. As long as you don't know how to relate your success, you just continue. Then comes the day where you want to test: if it's all good it might happen that you put less motivation into your project. If you fail you might be disappointed and struggle with further efforts.

Besides, testing exerts pressure on yourself. The mere word "test" has a negative connotation (as in: test, exam). If you decide to "test", I'd do that in a complete stress-free environment. Think about it as little as possible. Just do it and assess afterwards. And don't let the result influence your motivation in any negative way.

 

[Gambit123]

Today marks day 80 of hardmode! and almost 4 months P free. Wow. Never thought I would make it this far. I also thought I would be cured of my PIED by now....but i am not completely...but its ok. I have seen some progress which gives me hope that I am on the right track to cure my PIED and I am mentally preparing for a longer than 90 day reboot. I start day 80 in a flatline and don't plan on checking my erections for at least a couple of weeks. 2 weeks ago my libido was raging. This is kind of a crazy process.

I am still a bit perplexed how I got such good results in softmode (reduced M for first month before starting hardmode). At the end of the first month of soft mode it appeared my PIED was cured. Then I Md 3 times in one day and back to square one (then started hardmode). Perhaps I would have gotten back to square 1 even if I had not done that since this entire process is very non-linear. I guess I shouldn't overthink it and just continue with the reboot. I guess that glimpse of being cured also is something that helps keep me going too so I should be grateful for that glimpse although I don't understand fully what happened there.

Anyways, thought I would share my thoughts and where I am. Hope everyone is staying strong.

 

[Phase2]

Congrats Gambit. You are a couple weeks ahead of me so I follow your progress closely. It has helped a lot. Keep going man you are doing great!

 

[Gambit123]

phase 2, thanks. I will report anything new on this thread. I will say now that a couple of months have gone by I fantasize less and am better about testing so I hope that increases my progress / results.

And on behalf of this entire forum, thank you phase 2 for all of your posts of encouragement and support. We will beat this, it really just is a a matter of time.