I PMO'd again last night. I justified it by telling myself that it'd my last day and it'll be the start of my journey starting today. Still haven't given in today...
Definitely need to focus positively on building new replacement habits... such as reading more, socializing, studying, working out, etc... I will addict myself to the pain of discipline, because in this temporary pain, lies my freedom
This is my time to define my life focus and purpose... A purpose that will consume my life. I believe in being a productive human being making constant positive contributions to society and those around me. This is what I want in my life. I want to be a producer of good.. not a consumer of filth. I will put my whole self in to my ultimate purpose in life. At this point in my life, my education is extremely important and I will do and am doing whatever it takes to build my knowledge. I am here to know the truth and unconditionally dedicating myself in pursuit of the Truth. To do this, I will not have a foggy, constantly craving brain.
My focus is not just to not PMO, but to build and dedicate my life to this greatness.
To do this, I am understanding that this addiction will test me in the most difficult of ways and will make me make excuses to give in. There will be moments where the will to avoid this action will be low and the tendency to give in will be higher. For this, I will make sure that I avoid all cues, situations that will lead me to this. I will combat all possible thoughts that will lead me to the act.
Some thoughts that may arise are...
I can do this now and return to my reboot later.
It is actually better for me mentally to PMO at this point to relieve stress
PMO will actually help me more than harm me
Everyone else does it and it is the healthiest way to relieve myself
I want to return to those days where I could enjoy myself at any time.
All of the above are just excuses that I can think of right now that have come up in the past. I realize that these are nothing more than excuses. I realize that this path will be difficult and will ask me to give in temporarily.. But these are excuses. These are thoughts that come up in my head and precisely the reason why I will continue to harm myself. There is nothing good about PMO.. It is not relieving myself. It is harming myself. It is not pleasing myself, it is torture... It is destroying my relationships, my performance in life, and my sense of being human...
I am an addict.. My brain at this moment is addicted to PMO.. and the fact that I know this gives me control over myself.
