Ted - day 3 NO PMO or MO

[Ted]

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Re: Ted - 3 days NO PMO or MO

? Reply #4 on: Today at 07:17:09 AM ?


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Gentlemen,

emanedur, Phase2 and tOOfutca - I appreciate your candor and honest feedback. It is always received with the brotherhood it is intended.

Thanks for responding. It's been 3 days since my last PMO ad I have not engaged in MO either. I do appreciate your experience and that during this journey of rebooting my brain the abstention from PMO, and regular MO is key to success. I appreciate that honest and direct feedback.  I think that's important because much of my life I have justified jerking off as "just something men do".  Taking comfort in "being normal". AND, let's be honest it's fun and feels good. But, I've allowed that to twist into something that runs my life and is now effecting my relationships is far different than biology. From this point forward it's HANDS OFF and PORN free.

Making some changes:  This would be the time I would lose myself into PMO, instead I'm reading blogs and posting here. It has been very snowy here in the NORTHEAST and yesterday I shoveled my driveway with my family, we came inside and got warm then went to the grocery store together. We had lunch together and did grocery shopping together. This is a change for me because this is the time I would usually isolate, stay home, leave this chore to others, and lose myself for 90 minutes in PMO. It felt awkward to be out of my routine but at the same time feel good to be with my family.

Day 3 without PMO or MO and my motto will be no PMO and absolutely HANDS OFF. Although I do admit that morning wood and being aware of erections while asleep is comforting, but HANDS OFF. My hands do absent mindedly find their way south but as soon as I was aware of what I was doing I stopped. Also, while checking email I received a message from my favorite porn site about some DVD specials and reduced streaming prices. I unsubscribed from future notifications immediately. My porn use has crept into almost ever aspect of my private life. I am just now realizing how much I am covering and hiding. If something tragic were to happen to me, car accident etc.) once my family started going through my personal affects they would discover and be shocked at my double life. I need to change that starting now.

Please feel free to comment and call me out on my bullshit. I am working through trying to determine what is fact and what I have convinced myself of over the years as I justify my behavior.

Thanks for the brotherhood!
Ted

 

[Phase2]

Sounds good Ted. Once you've made that choice to cut it out for good you are well on your way. It will probably take a day or two, but while you are red hot on change purge all the porn crap out of your life so the temptations will be gone once and for all. Use the K9 blocker. Dump your porn files and stash. Get rid of all the stuff off your phone. Everything! This will help when you are weak or having a tough day. You don't want easy access to old destructive ways. Welcome aboard.

 

[emanedur]

Hi Ted.Awesome news of day 3.I loved reading how you spent that time with your family,it certainly reminded me I have to make sure to do the same.You wrote about covering and hiding.One of the bonuses in all this no PMO I have found is not having to make sure I have covered my tracks of the porn use for that session.I'd be checking my downloads folder to see if I had deleted an offending picture,checking the download manager to delete any traces,running the history eraser sometimes twice just in case I really didn't do it the first time.It was almost OCD.You're doing great.I glad things are going good