Hi

grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
Hi guys. I'm 27 years old, I'm Italian and my English is not very good, I hope it won't be a problem...
I started to TRY to reboot since about a month, but I had many relapses (M on pics of nude girls, M on normal pics of girls I know in real life, and PMO for 5 times). Now I'm almost 4 days since I last PMO/M'd and I feel more motivated.
Initially, reducing P, I noticed some improvements like more frequent morning woods, that it hasn't happened for a while. But now the mood is not good, I'm experiencing anxiety, depression, even lower libido, morning woods are weaker.
I hope this will works
 
M

Maxime

Active Member
Hi there! Welcome in! Just remember that little day to day anxiety you might get while rebooting will let you to a much healthier mind in the long run. Small, steady steps everyday!
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
only almost a week of no PMO and M, but the flatline is starting to freaking me out... I keep reading about people dealing with flatline for several months (even over 90 days) and some non-success stories too, that are getting my already bad mood even worse.
today I was tempted to test myself with something visual but I resisted.
 
W

willspbr87

Member
Don't worry about flatlines and changes of moods, grayfoxxx. It's just the process of rebooting, it's a thing that all of us experience and there's no escape from it. I rarely get morning woods, and there are days which I can get fair erections, other days I flatline all day long and I get anxious, but I remind that it's going to be over one day. Remember that your PIED is a temporary condition, yet you have to be motivated to resist to PMO while you're rebooting. Take it as a challenge.
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
I did M today, after 8 day of abstinence... without P of course. I fantasized a little bit about a real girl (nothing to do with sex, I was just thinking about her face, her eyes, her smile...) but then I focused mainly on physical sensations.
Erection wasn't strong, though
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
it is almost midnight where I am, and I'm going to sleep. after many weeks (maybe a month since I drastically reduced P), today my mood was a LITTLE bit better. I hope I can say the same thing tomorrow...
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
M'd again, this time standing up and not thinking about ANYTHING. for years I couldn't mantain an erection while standing even with P.
I know that maybe this last fap wasn't beneficial for my reboot, but on the other hand now I have a proof that the no PMO thing should work. I'm much more motivated now, I will avoid M and testing myself for as long as possible.
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
grayfoxxx said:
I will avoid M and testing myself for as long as possible.
Click to expand...

Famous last words...  :mad:
Just M'd again. DAMN IT!!
I have to reach at least 15 days, I must do it!
It's like suffering from multiple personality disorder... you know that doing M is not a good idea for a little while, but you're doing great, you don't have any urge, you have the control of the situation etc. and then... BOOM. An "other me" who doesn't give a damn about the rebooting thing takes control of my mind and my body and ruins everything.
 
M

Maxime

Active Member
Yeah I know what you mean. It's quite difficult to stay in control sometimes.Keep at it, you'll reach the highest goals one day for sure, just keep fighting for it!
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
relapsed after 14 days. in these last days I was out of control and willpower weren't enough. resetting all the counters to zero hurts me a lot, but it's what I deserve.
I'll searching for a web filter later, never installed one in my life and I have no idea how they work.
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
ok, I've installed Cold Turkey and blocked some URLs. I think this is a good psychological help, I feel more safe from temptations.
It's been 2 days since my last relapse, I have no libido but my mood is slowly getting better (a week ago I was REALLY depressed, I had never reached such levels of sadness and pessimism in my life) and this early morning I was awakened by a 75-80% strong erection.
I think that, despite the relapses, over 40 days of a drastic reduction of P and less frequent M had led in some little improvements.
I must do everything to avoid new relapses or the process will take forever
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
Day 5

arghh so many urges to P subs and M today!! but I resisted.
I went out for a jog this afternoon, 3.50 km in about 20 minutes without feeling particularly exhausted (which usually happens to me), I don't know if it has anything to do with the reboot... I could have done more but it started raining.
I noticed my erections are improving a little bit just by touching without thoughts... seems good but maybe I should stop testing
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
......................I feel like a fool.
M'd after 5 days. I have no excuses.
I'll try to set a goal to 7 days... although I don't know how useful it will be.
 
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